


Hazel Eyes

by ryulex



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:34:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 69,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29135628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryulex/pseuds/ryulex
Summary: Follow the story of Hazel Harris as she navigates her way through her last year at Hogwarts, falling in love with an unexpected professor.(This story is completed and will be uploaded every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.)
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Reader, Remus Lupin/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

Hazel Harris, a young girl with beautiful ginger hair that lost everything in one day. It was October 9th, 1992. Hazel was sitting in a Great Hall with her four friends; Donna, Freya, Tess and Sophie, when Professor Dumbledore approached them.

“Miss Harris, I would like to have a word with you.” Hazel looked at the headmaster and without saying a word, got up and left the hall with him. They were walking in a silence through the cold, long corridors. “Have a seat,” he said after they arrived at his office. Hazel was nervous, she knew she didn’t do anything bad, but she was confused why did Professor Dumbledore himself went all the way to her and invited her for a talk. “I’m not going to lie to you, I have terrible news.” Hazel was now worried even more, Dumbledore looked at her and it wasn’t one of these good looks. “I have no easy way of telling you this, but news about your parents came into my office today.”

“What about them?” she finally managed to say anything. She was playing with her fingers while looking at her professor.

“I am so terribly sorry to say this, but your parents were murdered yesterday trying to capture a Dark Wizard that escaped from Azkaban.

Hazel never liked the work they had. They knew it’s dangerous, but they kept doing this anyway. The truth was, they needed money and being an auror was worth it. They weren’t home most of the time, so Hazel was alone until she left for Hogwarts. She had a good relationship with them, but it wasn’t anything spectacular. They would only come back for a night, when she was already asleep and leave very early in the morning. She had troubles with nightmares about them, she dreamed about them being killed every day, but this time it was true.

Dumbledore was looking at her with sad eyes and was staring at her for a few minutes, because she wasn’t saying anything. Hazel was still processing his words, and before she could react all she felt her head felt heavy.

“Thank you, headmaster.” She managed to say and got up quickly. She didn’t want to stay any longer in this room. The atmosphere felt heavy and she couldn’t breathe. Hazel hated showing her emotions to other people, so she always used to pretend like everything’s all right. And that was exactly what she was going to do this time, too. Before she got back into the Great Hall, she went to the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror and looked at her reflection. She was a bit shaky, but who will blame her? She leaned down above the sink and splashed her face with water. She needed to calm down before going back to her friends. She spent a few extra minutes in the bathroom to collect her thoughts and then went her way to the Great Hall.

“What did Dumbledore want?” Donna asked and took a bite of her toast.

“Oh, nothing important. Just something about my parents,” she said and gave them all fake smile. She didn’t say anything about this, because she didn’t want them to be sorry for her. She hated pity. She hated when people felt sorry for her. “Now, tell me. What did I miss?”

***

Hazel was becoming overwhelmed with the emotions she had in the last two weeks. She was missing many classes, and no one knew why. She was getting into detention where she didn’t show up either. Her friends were starting to worry, that’s why they decided to talk to Professor Dumbledore. They needed to know what happened this morning in his office.

Freya knocked on his door and waited for the invite. “You know I hate knocking on the door,” she said and looked at Donna who rolled her eyes. “Don’t fucki- oh good morning, professor.” Freya saw Professor Dumbledore in front of her and smiled at him.

“Miss White, miss Adler, what a pleasant surprise.” Dumbledore said and looked at his students. “What is that you two want?”

They were now inside of his office, sitting in front of his desk; he was looking at them curiously. “Professor… we’re sorry to bother you with such themes but since you came to the Great Hall a few weeks ago to talk to Hazel she hasn’t been the same. She misses classes and the professors give her detentions for that, but she doesn’t show up either. She acts weird around us too. We’re really worried about her. She says she’s fine but she, clearly, is not” they explained. “We were wondering if you knew something about it. Something that could have happened here. It’s when everything started” they added.

“Oh, dear.” Dumbledore said and moved on his chair, “so you two don’t know?”

“Don’t know what?” Donna asked and looked at Freya.

“Hazel’s parents were murdered; I gave her the news last time she was in my office.” Dumbledore said and looked at them. “I guess miss Harris is not the person who shares her feelings, is she?”

“She’s really not.” Donna said and rolled her eyes again. “Thank you, headmaster. I’m sorry we were bothering you.”

“It’s not a problem.” He said and walked them to the door. “Please, take care of her.”

“We’ll try.” Freya said as they were leaving the office.

Hazel was laying on her room with her cat next to her. She was reading a book, minding her own business when she heard the dorm door open and then her name being called. She looked up and saw Donna and Freya going her way.

“What’s up?” Hazel asked and put the book down, still petting her cat. “Why do you look like you’re either going to kill me or hug me?”

“Why didn’t you tell us about your parents?”

Hazel froze. She stopped petting Claire who now looked at her with irritation on her little face and moved to the other side of her bed. Hazel didn’t look up and didn’t make an eye contact with her friends who were now closer to her.

“How did you find out?” Was all she said. She didn’t say anything else; she didn’t even look at them.

“Dumbledore,” Freya said knelled down before her. “Hazel, why didn’t you tell us?”

“This is why,” Hazel said and got up. “I didn’t want this. I don’t want any of you to feel sorry for me. I don’t want this.” She was avoiding their gaze. “Please, don’t feel sorry for me. I’m fine.”

“I really don’t think you’re fine.” Donna said softly.

“How can you know how I feel, Donna? Huh? Tell me!” Hazel said a bit louder and finally made an eye contact with her. “How can you know how I feel? No, let me tell you. I feel fine. I feel okay. I don’t need anyone to tell me how sorry they are for me.” And this is the moment when Hazel left her dorm and didn’t come back for the next few hours. She was ashamed she let her anger out on her friend like that, and second, she didn’t want to be around anyone right now, so she went to the library and spent a few hours there.

***

It’s been a month since that moment. Hazel apologised to her friends, but she was keeping her distance to everyone. She was being rude for no reason, she was getting into a lot of trouble, she was missing a lot of classes and failing almost all her exams. Even more than earlier. She was simply falling apart. And this is all because she was keeping her emotions inside, instead of talking to somebody.

It was Monday, 8 in the morning. Hazel had her classes start at 10, so she had time to think about today. She had to finally attend to class. She was already missing a lot, and she knew that’s bad. Hazel got dressed and left her dorm without telling anyone where she was going. She was doing it for the last month, so why should she change that? Hazel was wandering around the castle, but she got bored. She left the castle and decided to go for a little walk. She was wandering around the castle, and before she knew she found herself next to the Black Lake. She sat on the big rock and started looking around. She was alone. She felt tears coming out of her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away, because she could swear she heard something. She looked around but saw nothing.

“Miss Harris?” she heard a very familiar voice, so she turned around and saw professor Lupin going her way. He was wearing his teacher’s robes and a scarf, because it was pretty windy today. “What are you doing here alone at 8 in the morning?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she muttered and looked away. “But also, I don’t think that is any of your business.” She didn’t know why she was being rude to him. He was always so kind to her, asking how her day went and here she was. She was being rude to almost everyone lately, but she actually felt bad when she was rude to him. “I’m sorry, sir.” She said after a few seconds of silence. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“It’s all right, my dear.” He said and stepped closer to her. “Now, would you like to speak what’s troubling you?”

Yes. “Not really, no.” She answered and smiled at him. “But thank you.”

“Are you sure?” Lupin asked again and sat next to her on a rock. “I’m not going to push you to open up to me, but sometimes letting your emotions out is really helpful.”

Hazel looked at him and she actually got a chance to look at him. It was the first time he was very close to her. His skin looked so soft, even though covered in scars. But they suited him a lot. He looked very handsome, she thought. What the fuck? Did you just say that your teacher looks handsome, she asked herself.Oh, shut up.

“Miss Harris?”

“Call me Hazel, please.” She managed to say and looked back at him. He was now looking at her, too. “I don’t know what I even want to say, how do you expect me to open up?”

“Little steps, remember.” He said and gave her a smile. “Let me ask you a question, how are you feeling?”

Hazel took a deep breath and looked away. “How am I feeling? Do you really want an honest answer?”

“I always want an honest answer when I ask about stuff like that.” He answered also looking away at the exact same place she was looking.

“I feel empty. I feel like I have no reason to live anymore,” she finally said and looked at her hands. “They’re gone, what’s the reason for me to be here when they’re not by my side?”

Remus sighed and looked at his student. She was not looking at him, she was scared that if she looks up, she’ll cry.

“You have a lot of reasons to stay,” he said. “Look around. The world is wide. You’re young, smart, beautiful. I know it’s hard after losing someone close, but you’ll move on one day. You will be just fine. You will find yourself again.” Remus said and put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it softly. “Trust me.” She looked up at him and blushed when she saw his hand on her shoulder. He seemed to notice she got embarrassed, so he quickly removed his hand and smiled at her, trying to avoid the weird feeling in his stomach.

Hazel got up from the rock and started walking around. “I feel lost,” she said after a few minutes of silence. “What am I going to do after I finish school? I have no work, no money. I have no home anymore.” Hazel felt like her eyes were starting to water and her hands started to shake. “I have no one, professor. They’re gone. I’m alone.” After the last sentence she felt tears falling down her tears. It was the first time she cried in front of someone. She was trying to control the feeling and her tears but she couldn’t. She felt unwell and her legs were so weak.

“Hey hey, listen to me.” Remus said and got up, too. Walked up to her and stood in front of her, looking at her from above. He was much taller than her. “You are not alone, you might feel like it, but you never will be alone. You have friends, you have other family, no?”

“Yes, but we are not very close. They all live far away from here; we see each other only on Christmas. And now? I don’t even have a place where I can spend Christmas.” Hazel looked away, because she felt like another wave of tears was approaching. Remus saw her hands that were shaking uncontrollably, her eyes were red, her breathing was heavy.

I will regret this, Remus thought. But he grabbed her gently by her shoulders and brought her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around his body almost immediately and started sobbing into his chest. He was holding her by the back of her head, and the other hand was around her waist. He knew he shouldn’t have done this, but this girl clearly needed a hug but was too stubborn to admit that. Remus was holding her close to him, rubbing her back gently, trying to calm her down. She was sobbing into his chest and grabbing the edge of his robes in case he wanted to go somewhere. She needed someone close her right now and felt like the perfect person. She never liked to share her feelings with anyone. But when he approached her, she felt like an angel was sent from the skies to save her. She felt safe in his arms, and she knows him only for about two months.

Remus Lupin started working at Hogwarts this year, replacing Professor Lockhart after he accidentally obliviated himself just one month into the school year, and kids seemed to like him. He was the best teacher they had so far. Hazel never liked this subject, because she never had anyone to explain this to her in an interesting way. But after professor Lupin entered the class on this October morning it felt different. He seemed to care about how students feel and what they think about this class. He did not give any detention to anyone so far. He didn’t give too much homework knowing it’s their N.E.W.T’s year and they need to spend more time on studying, so he quit giving unnecessary essays he wouldn’t want to read anyway.

“Professor,” Hazel said quietly, still hiding her face in his chest. He looked at her, she was so pill. “I feel unwell.”

“Did you get any food this morning or yesterday?” He pulled her away from his chest and asked softly, looking at her but she shook her head. He felt anger in him but he couldn’t let it out. It wasn’t her fault. Remus looked at her face and saw a few freckles on her nose and under her eyes. She was now standing in front of him. “Eat this,” he said after taking a chocolate bar out of his pocket. “Trust me, you’ll feel better.”

Hazel took a chocolate from him and took the first bite. The sweet taste of chocolate melted in her mouth and she smiled a little bit. It was her first food in the last two days. She ate in silence; Remus was looking around in case someone was approaching. He didn’t like the idea he hugged his student in such intimate way, and if someone else saw it, they would get wrong ideas. But Remus’ intentions were innocent. He just wanted to comfort his student.

“Professor,” she caught his attention, her voice was weak. She was embarrassed of asking this again. She knew it was inappropriate. “Can you...”

“Yes?” he asked softly, stepping closer to her. He had this soft look on his face, she felt like she was melting.

“I’m sorry, forget that.” She said after a few seconds. She couldn’t ask about this. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologise, but please know that there’s no need to feel embarrassed around me. I will not judge you. You can tell or ask me anything.”

Hazel looked at him once again and saw a smile on his face. She knew her feeling was wrong, but the need of being hold by him again felt so good. She needed to feel his arms around her body once again. His face pressing against her head. His hand rubbing her back slowly. He wasn’t sorry after she told him about his parents, and she was happy he wasn’t. She hated this. But she couldn’t let this feeling win. She knew it’s not okay. He was her teacher and it was wrong. Their hug earlier was a mistake already. The sudden wave of hotness went through her body and she felt unwell again. Her head started pulsing and her hands shaking again. Remus didn’t notice that at first, because she was great at hiding her emotions but once she wanted to take a step closer to him, she lost balance in her legs and fell on the ground.

***

Hazel woke up, her head still felt heavy. She barely saw anything, because the light blinded her. After a few seconds she could open her eyes properly and look around her. She saw a glass of water on a small table next to her bed, and a chocolate bar.

“You’re finally awake, dear.” Madam Pomfrey said with a smiley face. “How are you feeling?”

“F-fine,” she tried to say but started coughing, because her throat was so sore. Madam Pomfrey handed her a glass of water which she quickly drank. “I’m fine. My head hurts a little bit.”

“That’s understandable, you hit your head when you fell. At least that’s what professor Lupin said when he brought you here.”

Lupin brought her here?

“Where is professor Lupin now?” she asked softly and looked at the clock that was on the wall and then back at Madam Pomfrey, that was looking down at her. It was now about 5PM right now.

“I told him to get some rest, he was sitting by your side since you got here. Snape took over his classes because he didn’t want to leave you.” Madam Pomfrey said and gave her a smile. “But I’ll let him know that you’re awake. I need to give him...a medication anyway.”

“A medication?” she asked. Lupin was sick? “Is he okay?”

“Erm, yes. Professor Lupin is all right, just a bit weak right now.” She smiled at Hazel and left the hospital wing.

Hazel was laying on the bed, looking around. There was literally no one else around. She was alone in the hospital wing and she didn’t know when she’ll be able to leave. It was about supper time when Madam Pomfrey came back, and she wasn’t alone. Donna and Freya were here as well. Hazel was happy to see them.

“Hazel! Are you okay?”

“What the fuck happened?”

They said at the same time what made Hazel laugh. She was always the closest with these two, since she remembers. People say that trios don’t work out, because there’s always one that is being a third wheel but that’s not true. At least not with them. Donna, Freya and Hazel were the best trio the world knew. Donna’s father was working in a bookshop in London and her mother was working in the Ministry of Magic. Donna was a half-blood, but she didn’t care about this. She used to be bullied for that but she knew how to handle this. Freya’s parents on the other hand were both an Aurora just like Hazel’s parents were. Her parents, Hazel’s and Donna’s mother were also friends, so their death was as hard for them as for Hazel.

They spent about two hours on talking and laughing. She missed this and because of the constant sorrow she was not able to enjoy it as much as she used to. Opening up to Remus was a good idea, because she finally let it all out. Donna and Freya explained her what they were doing today in classes, but Hazel wasn’t really interested in this, because she was deep in her thoughts that were filled with her handsome, older Defence Against the Dark Arts’ professor. Donna and Freya left the hospital wing around 8PM, because they had to eat supper and then go back to their dorm. Hazel was reading a book and didn’t even notice when the door opened and someone entered the room. She looked up after she heard the steps getting closer to her.

“I see you’re feeling better now,” Remus said and smiled at her. She smiled back and put her book down. She was hoping she would see him today; she needed to thank him and apologise for what happened today.

“I am, yes.” Hazel said and sat straight on bed, looking at her professor taking a sit on a chair next to her bed. “Madam Pomfrey told me you brought me here and...” she looked at her hands. “...and stayed next to my bed.” Hazel felt her cheeks blush. “You didn’t have to stay. You missed your own classes.”

“That wasn’t a problem,” he said softly. “I asked Severus to cover me today, and he did it. Surprisingly, but he did.” Hazel looked at him and saw him playing with the edge of her blanket. “I couldn’t just leave you here,” he started. “After what you told me in the morning I felt like,” Remus was trying to find the right words, and not to sound creepy while saying them. “I felt like you needed someone close.” She was about to say something but he silenced her. “I’m sorry, that sounded inappropriate.”

Hazel chuckled and grabbed his hand that was still playing with her blanket. “It’s okay.” She smiled at him and looked away. “Thank you for what you did to me today.”

“Anytime, darling.


	2. Chapter 2

“Remember that this will be very important subject on your N.E.W.T.s. Please practice some spells during this Christmas break. Of course not everyone can do this, because not everyone’s of the age, but if you can, please do.” Professor Lupin said when class was coming to an end. “Class dismissed. Merry Christmas.” Students answered with the same and started leaving the class. Remus noticed that Hazel was about to leave the class, but he needed to talk to her. “Miss Harris, will you stay for a moment?”

Hazel looked up after she heard her name being called and smiled at her teacher. “Of course.” She said as she grabbed her book. “Am I in trouble?”

“Did you do anything to get in trouble?” he asked and laughed. She shook her head and laughed as well. “No, Hazel, I actually have a question to you.” He started and sat on the edge of his desk. “You got poor grades on your last 5 tests.” He said and she sighed. Of course it was about school, she thought. She was hoping it was something more pleasant to hear. “Are you feeling all right? Do you need help with anything?”

“I’m okay, sir. I just don’t really understand anything. I can’t really focus on anything. It confuses me,” she admitted and looked at her professor. “I will retake them, if possible.”

“I can give you a few private lessons if you’d like. I’m free on Friday evenings.” He said and smiled at her. “Before you say anything, no, that’s not the problem.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He smiled at her again. “Of course, we don’t have to do this during Christmas break, because I’m sure you need to rest. So we can start after Christmas.” She only nodded and smiled, he returned the smile and looked her up and down. She felt this weird feeling in her stomach when he was smiling at her. And when she was around him, in general. The way he was looking and smiling at her made her go crazy. She liked the attention he was giving her. Hazel wasn’t going anywhere on Christmas, so she hoped they would meet alone during the break, because school will be empty, but it was only her hopes. “Now, to next class off you go!”

“Goodbye, professor.” Hazel gave him the last look and smiled, then left the classroom leaving him in the middle, still looking at the place when she was standing. After she left Lupin’s classroom and went her way to her dorm, she bumped into somebody. She looked up and saw Professor McGonagall. “I’m sorry, professor.”

“Hazel, dear. I was just looking for you.” She said and gave her a smile. “Would you join me in my office?” Hazel shook her head and followed her professor. What is it today that everyone wants to talk to her? Hazel sat down on the chair that was in front of McGonagall’s desk, when she closed the door and walked up to her and took a place behind her desk. “I don’t think you’ll like what you’re about to hear.”

“Please, just tell me. I’m done with this, last time I was taken to the office Dumbledore told me about my parents. What possibly could go worse than that?” She tried to laugh it off, but she stopped after she saw McGonagall’s face. “Apologies.”

“I was looking at your grades,” she started, and Hazel already knew where this conversation was going. “I also noticed you missed 70% of your classes this semester. You failed almost every exam you have taken. Passed only 3. You know where I’m going?”

“That I’m going to get a detention?” Hazel asked jokingly.

“Hazel, I’m so sorry but you will not be able to take N.E.W. T’s in June. You have too many missed classes and almost every exam you have taken you’ve failed. Even if you retake them after Christmas, I don’t think you’ll be able to pass.” McGonagall said and Hazel was looking at her like she was speaking in another language. “You will have to retake the whole year once again.”

“You’re not kidding, are you?” Hazel asked.

“I’m sorry, my dear.”

***

It was about three days later. Hazel was sat on the bench, reading a book. Her cat, Claire was asleep beside her, hugged to her side. She was reading some Muggle book her mother gave her at the beginning on this year. She didn’t want to read it because every time she was looking at this, she felt like crying. But she forced herself to do it, and here she was. Hazel tried to forget what McGonagall said to her a few days ago, because she didn’t want to worry about it. There was nothing she could do anyway, so why worry? She was so busy with reading that she didn’t notice that Claire disappeared. Hazel knew she’s not gonna get lost in the castle, but she wanted to have her beside her right now. It was the last family member she had left. Hazel got up and started looking for her everywhere. She asked other students if they’ve seen a white cat running around the castle, but no one has.

Remus was sat in his office when he heard meowing from the outside of his door. He got up and opened the door to see a white cat, looking at him. Before he could react the cat ran into his classroom and sat on one of the student’s desk.

“Who are you?” Remus asked while looking at unknown cat. He liked animals so he didn’t really mind a company of this cat. He smiled at them and sat back on his chair. He continued his work, completely forgetting about a stranger cat. After an hour Remus got up, petted a cat and left his classroom because he needed a fresh air.

He was walking around the castle with his mind completely off, until someone ran into him. He looked down and saw Hazel, clearly embarrassed. He was happy to see her, and so was she.

“I am so sorry-”

“My apologies-”

They said at the same time what made them both laugh. Remus looked at Hazel and gave her a smile. She returned the smile and slightly blushed. “I’m looking for my cat,” she said and looked at him once again, “she ran away and I don’t know where she is.”

“What does your cat look like?” Remus asked, having in mind the cat that is asleep in his office.

“White and...”

“Would you mind joining me?” Remus interrupted her and she looked at him confused, “I want to show you something.”

“Can’t we do this later, Professor? I’m really worried about her-” Hazel tried to explain but Remus interrupted her.

“Trust me.”

Hazel didn’t say anything. She just followed her teacher. She was walking behind him so she got a chance to look at him closer. He was in his early 30s but he already got a few grey hair on his head. But Hazel didn’t mind that, she thought it looks very good on him. It suited him, just like his scars. After a few minutes of walking both of them found themselves next to Lupin’s classroom. She looked at him and he smiled at her, letting her in first.

“No way!” She said loudly and ran towards her cat laying on his desk. Remus chuckled and joined Hazel. She looked so happy around her cat, he never saw her smiling like that and he knows her for a while now. But he was happy there was something that makes her smile, even if that’s just a cat. “I’m so sorry for her. She never did that before; I don’t know what got into her.”

“It’s completely fine. She was meowing outside my door, so I opened the door and she let herself in,” Hazel looked at him and started apologizing again, but he silenced her with his hand. “It’s all good, I didn’t mind a company.” Hazel smiled at him and for a second she felt a huge urge to hug him but she forgot it was her teacher she was looking at, “would you like to join me and drink some tea?”

“I would love that.”

“Come upstairs to my office, I’ll join you in a minute,” Remus said and saw she was trying to pick up her cat but he stopped her. “She can stay downstairs, she looks sleepy and cozy here,” he smiled and she smiled back, nodded and went upstairs. When Hazel got upstairs she saw his desk, tiny green couch next to a fireplace and a lot of books. She saw a huge door, probably leading to his chambers. She could only imagine what he got there. Probably a couch, another desk… his bed. “Let’s sit beside the fireplace, it’s a bit cold,” Remus interrupted her thoughts and she was very glad he did because her thoughts were going way too far. “Black, green or normal tea?”

“Black,” she smiled and sad on his couch. “It’s really cozy here,” Hazel looked up at her Professor making some tea a few meters away, so she had another chance to look at him for a moment. He was wearing black trousers, black t-shirt and grey cardigan. She also noticed his messy hair, it looked so fluffy and all she wanted to do right now was putting her hand into…

“There you go,” Remus interrupted her again and gave her a smile. She blushed again, because she caught herself thinking about him in that way again, “are you alright?”

“Yes, why?” she asked trying to sound normal but her voice broke a bit at the end.

“Your face is red,” he said and looked at her again, “you’re sure that you’re alright, dear?” Dear. The pet name made her heart beat faster and she could feel butterflies in her stomach. Before she could react, she felt his hand on her forehead. She didn’t expect that and automatically turned her more red. “Your forehead is cold, that’s weird,” he said and she could swear she saw something on his face. Something that looked like a little smirk.

“I’m a bit cold actually,” she said and looked around. “I’m sure tea will help, though.” Hazel gave him a smile and turned her face away from him. Remus just smiled at her and pressed his body against the couch and took a sip of his tea. The tension between them was normal, it’s only Hazel that was a bit stressed because she didn’t know what was happening to her. Remus seemed not to notice too much.

Well, at least not at the beginning.

They were talking about a lot of things. Books, movies, music, animals, more books and this is when something happened between them, that they both felt a bit weird. When their knees accidentally touched they both looked at each other’s eyes. They both felt sudden hotness and the atmosphere changed. It wasn’t anything bad. The complete opposite, the atmosphere between changed into more…tense. They both new it’s wrong but they couldn’t help it. They were staring into each other’s eyes for the next few seconds and then it was Remus who first broke the eye contact and cleared his throat.

“It’s late,” he said and looked at the clock.”I need to mark a few more exams, but believe me, I don’t want to do it just like you, students, don’t want to take them,” Remus laughed and Hazel smiled at him.

Was this a suggestion she should leave?

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m just gonna go,” Hazel said and stood up, leaving him still sat on the couch. She looked down at him, staying not so far away from him, that their knees were still kind of touching. “It was so nice to talk to you, Professor. And thank you for the tea.” Hazel smiled and she looked down to see their knees. She moved a bit forward after she realized what she was doing and apologized quietly, but he didn’t seem to mind.

And this is when they knew something’s up.

***

The Christmas morning went calmly. Hazel woke up and the first thing she did was looking outside her window. Her mother used to tell her that looking outside the window on Christmas morning will give her good luck till the next Christmas. Hazel spent this day with Donna and Freya, because they didn’t leave for Christmas, either. Freya’s parents were currently in Wales and they couldn’t return home for Christmas, so she stayed at Hogwarts. Donna stayed because she didn’t want to go to her aunt Nancy, because it was her year to organise Christmas. Her parents let her stay, because they knew how much she disliked her aunt.

Hazel’s been avoiding her professor as much as she could since their last interaction in his office. It’s not like she didn’t like that, but she knew it’s bad. Of course she wasn’t ignoring him, but she was just simply keeping her distance. He seemed to keep his distance as well, especially in the last few days.

She found herself once more wandering through the corridors of the castle, passing by other students that also stayed in the castle for Christmas. She has been thinking what she was going to do once all this was finished. That seemed to be the only thing she thought for the last months. She was walking down a hill trying to get away from all the noise of the kids playing with their Christmas presents when she ran into someone familiar. “I’m so sorry, professor. I had my mind off,” she apologized immediately and looked at her feet, embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, but look where you step. It’s been raining a lot and you would quite easily slip and fall,” Remus said and smiled weakly. He looked terrible, like he’d been in a fight. Hazel could have sworn that he had new scars on his face and neck. She realized she was looking at him too long and he noticed that too. But he didn’t mind. He should, but he didn’t, because the truth is that he caught himself looking at her a few times, too.

“I like the smell after rain. It’s so calming,” Hazel said in a soft tone and closed her eyes.

The truth is that whenever she encountered professor Lupin something inside of her felt peace. Remus looked at her and smiled. She looked beautiful, that’s no secret. She was a beautiful girl. A beautiful girl that could never look at an old man like him. Her short, ginger hair was beautiful, soft. Freckles on her face was showing a little bit and it made her look even more soft.

These two words describe her the best; soft and beautiful.

“It’s quite a nice smell, yes.” Remus added. “Would you like to join me on a walk? I’ve heard the news and would like to talk to you about it,” he was hoping she would agree because even though he was trying to keep his distance, he missed their little conversations.

“Oh. Of course,” she replied.

They both started to walk in silence, until they arrived at a lookout where you could see almost all of Hogsmeade. “Hazel,” her name sounded so good from his lips, she thought. “Tell me, how do you feel about taking year 7 again?” Lupin asked.

“I haven’t thought about it yet, actually. But I trust professor McGonagall, I think it’s the best for me. I reckon this year isn’t going the best it could go, and I don’t have any other choice. Even if I went to every class after Christmas is over, I still have all my exams failed from last semester,” she explained and then chuckled.

Remus leaned against the stone wall, “and have you had you something in mind for after you graduate?” He asked and looked at her.

Hazel looked at him. He really seemed interested, more than just a professor worried for his students. The man actually cared for her, as well as every other student of his, of course. “I wanted to be a potions master but now I don’t know anymore,” she said. “I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do when I wake up, what to do when I get home this summer and realize there’s no one there waiting for me. I’ve lost everything and I don’t know how to manage that,” Hazel said and looked away, she felt tears on her cheeks. She didn’t want to cry in front of him again, but she just couldn’t help it.

“It’s okay to feel lost in a situation like yours. I was in a situation like this years ago, when I thought I had lost everything. Three of my best friends died, and the other one went to Azkaban. For quite some time I felt lost, I didn’t have a place to go and I didn’t have friends to talk to.” Remus said and looked at her once again. She was looking at him, too. She knew about his friends from what she heard but she never had a chance to hear it from him. “But that doesn’t mean everything was lost. Look at me now. Dumbledore knew exactly what to do with me and so he will do with you. Trust him,” he said and looked at her. “Trust me.”

“Thank you, professor. You always find the way to cheer me up. I’m grateful to have a friend like you,” Hazel said hesitant of what the older man could think.

***

Months passed and the idea to becoming an auror shone brighter every day in her head. She finally had a motivation to wake up in the morning, go to class, be alive again. Even her friends noticed the change on her face, she started to smile more, eating more and laughing more. Her talks with professor Lupin became more recurrent, they would often talk about life and what both of them had to go through. He tried to help her in DADA classes and she improved quite a bit but it wasn’t enough. She was still failing her other classes and she didn’t have enough credits to graduate and take N.E.W.T.s. Hazel still had to take year 7 once again.

“Alright class, that’s all for today,” Remus said and smiled at his students. “Miss Harris can you stay for a moment?”

Hazel looked at him and smiled, “of course, professor.” She looked at her friend, Donna, who gave her a funny look, Hazel raised her eyebrows ad hit her gently on a shoulder. “I’ll join you in a minute,” she said and waved at her. All students started leaving the class, leaving Hazel and Professor Lupin alone. She smiled at him and came closer to his desk, “did I do something?”

“Why do you always assume you did something, after I ask you to stay after class?” He laughed and she smiled shyly. “No, I wanted to ask you about N.E.W.T.s,” he said and she was about to say something, but he interrupted her. “I know, it’s next year for you but I think it’ll be better if you told me what subjects you’re going to take. Maybe I’ll be able to help you with something more.”

Hazel looked at him and smiled. He was so kind and nice to her. He always was able to make her smile, laugh and she liked this about him. He was so positive about everything and he was always able to find a way to cheer her up. “Well, DADA of course,” Hazel giggled and looked at him again, “Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration and Charms.”

“I can help you with DADA, obviously-”

“Obviously,” Hazel interrupted him and fake rolled her eyes on him.

“Don’t you roll your eyes on me,” Remus said and changed his standing position.

“I didn’t roll my eyes, sir.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Hazel looked at him and saw this annoying smirk on his face. The way he said those words made her a bit warm. He kept eye contact with her, he wasn’t smiling which made him look much more attractive than he already looked. Hazel bit the inside of her cheek and looked at her hands, but she looked up when she heard him laughing. “As I was saying,” he smiled at her and continued, “I will help you with DADA, but I also can try and help you with Charms and Potions. It was one of my favorite subjects when I was a student.”

“Oh, really? I would love that,” Hazel looked at the time on the clock and looked at him, “thank you professor, but I have to go Donna and the rest of my friends will be too curious why I’m here this long.” He gave her a quick smile which she returned and left the class, turning back for a second just to wave at him. Remus sighed and got back to work, trying to distract himself from thoughts that would make his loose a job.

And so, her journey began. Their journey began.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has a playlist! If you wanna listen (spotify) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0A96y3dyKaLDB0ogpUIRAX?si=X8P4glGtS2GaJ69ENQR5TA

**August 31st 1993.**  
  
And just like that the whole year had passed. After spending the summer at Donna’s, McGonagall had asked her to come by Hogwarts a day before classes started to talk to her about her school year.  
  
Hazel was standing in front of McGonagall in her office. “As I was saying, dear. We really hope you can graduate this year. For that we decided to create an internship for you. That combined with your notes should help you for passing your N.E.W.T.s” the older woman started saying. “You will choose a professor and you will work with them during your free periods for the year, till April. Then you will have time to focus on studying more. Take your time and answer us by the end of the week,” Minerva explained.  
  
Hazel’s eyes light up instantly, thinking about how she could see from up close her DADA teacher work and achieve her recent dream of becoming an auror. He said he will help her anyway, but this would help her even more. She also wanted to spend more free time with him. “I’d like to work with professor Lupin, if it’s possible,” she answered almost immediately and smiled at McGonagall.  
  
“Of course! Looks like you already knew what you wanted, dear.” McGonagall said with a sassy undertone while smiling, thinking that it was time for that poor girl to get a better life.  
  
“Erm, yes. I’ve been working with him since last semester. He was trying to get me to graduate last year but it was impossible so here we are,” Hazel said with a little giggle. “He also said he’ll help me this year as well, and not only with his subject but with Charms and Potions, as well.”  
  
“Oh, yes. Professor Lupin was a very gifted student, he was very good at Charms. I really hope he’ll be able to help you,” McGonagall smiled at her student. With a bow, Hazel left McGonagall’s office and went straight up running to Lupin’s office, where he was writing papers, preparing for this new year at Hogwarts.  
Over the last Christmas break and the remaining semester, Hazel and her professor had grown closer as they spent a lot of evenings together working on perfecting charms and spells. For some reason, maybe the fact that they both had lost their loved ones, they felt really comfortable with each other. Hazel felt like she could tell her professor anything. Of course there was this one interaction between them that one evening in his office when they both felt something’s up, but after their last talk, they seemed to forget it and they became close again.  
  
She knocked on the door three times, asking if she could come in, but Remus didn’t hear her because he was very concentrated in his papers, preparing his classes for the year that started soon. Hazel slightly opened the door letting herself in. “Professor Lupin? Can I come in?” she said out loud when she was in the middle of class already approaching the stairs to his office.  
  
It was then when Remus came out of his office and stood at the top of the stairs looking at her. He smiled at her and she smiled at him. “Hazel, what a nice surprise. What are you doing here? School is starting tomorrow,” Remus asked her.  
  
“Yes, but I just came back earlier because professor McGonagall had to talk to me about school stuff,” Hazel explained with a smile. Remus looked at her and smiled, too.“Sir, I have news. Great news!” she exclaimed with enthusiasm. “Professor McGonagall said that in order to graduate I must do an internship with another professor to help me get a better grade.”  
  
She sat on the edge of the stairs and waited for him to sit beside her. He looked down at her and smirked. “And who did you choose?”  
  
“Oh, you know, professor Snape,” she said and rolled her eyes.  
  
“Oh,” said Lupin.  
  
Hazel could swear she saw sadness on his face. “I’m just kidding!” she laughed and looked at him. “I told professor McGonagall that I would love to work with you,” she said and looked at him with a little smirk on her face. “Unless... you don’t want me here, then I can just go and-” she started but Remus quickly stopped her.  
  
“No!” Remus said, a bit too fast. “I mean, no. I would love to work with you, too. You are my... one of my favorite students,” Remus said and smiled at her. She was smiling, too, which made him so happy. She smirked because she knew what he was going to say but he had to correct himself. But she knew.  
  
“Well... you are my favorite teacher, too,” she said and looked at her professor that was stood in front of her.  
  
Remus was trying so hard not to blush because her words made him happy, but also scared him a bit. “It will be an absolute delight working with you as my assistant. I’m gonna make you a great DADA teacher and even better auror,” Remus replied with a soft smile.  
  
They were sat next to each other, drinking tea and talking. They both felt comfortable around each other and deep, deep down she knew it’s not gonna end well, because she started to think about her teacher a little too much. But little did she know, he thought the same about her.  
  
“So how was your summer?” He asked her as he handed her a cup of tea. They were sat on the bottom of the stairs.  
  
“It’s been all right. I spent it at Donna’s house and my friend Freya often came to visit us.” She smiled. “They surprised me on my birthday with new books and…” she said and looked at him. “A lot of alcohol.” I probably shouldn’t have said that.  
  
“Sounds lovely,” he laughed. “When was your birthday? If you don’t mind me asking of course.”  
  
“August 20th.” She said and took a sip of her tea.  
  
“Happy late birthday, darling.” He said and gave her a side hug. “18 birthday is a big day.” He said and smiled at her. She felt sad, because she didn’t have her parents by her side when she turned the age of 18. She was lucky to have friends like Donna and Freya, who kept her company whenever she needed this. She will miss them this year. But lucky for her, she had a lot of younger friends she will now be sharing a dorm with. “Don’t think about this.”  
  
“What?” she asked and looked right at him.  
  
“I know this look on your face.” He said softly and gave her a little smile. “I know it’s hard, but try to think about something positive. I know it’s easier said than done, but trust me. Once you try and think about good stuff, no matter how hard it is, the bad memories will go away. Maybe not forever, because you can’t just throw your sadness away, but you can learn how to handle it.”  
  
“Thank you, professor.” She said and rested her head on his shoulder. She knew she shouldn’t do this, but she couldn’t help it. And he didn’t seem to mind it either.  
  
***  
  
This school year was going good so far. Well, it’s been 2 days since school started but everything was going great. She made a few friends but it wasn’t the same. She was missing Donna and Freya.Hazel was sitting on the bench in the corridor with a quill and a piece of parchment paper in her hand. She was smiling and writing at the same time. She was writing a letter to her two friends, Freya and Donna.  
  
 _Dear Donna and Freya,_  
 _I’m doing good at the moment. It’s much better than last year. I don’t cry anymore, well maybe sometimes. I’m actually writing this letter to tell you what happened recently! I got a chance to assist one of our teachers in their classes, it’s supposed to help me graduate and become an auror after school. Professor McGonagall told me to pick someone and honestly, it wasn’t difficult. I picked professor Lupin. We get along very well, even better than last year. He helps me a lot every day, I haven’t had classes with him yet but I hope to change that soon. I hope it goes well. I’ll tell you more another time because honestly, I don’t know what else to say at the moment._  
 _I miss you so much! I hope we will see each other soon._  
 _How are you guys? I hope everything’s going okay._  
 _Let me know as soon as you receive this letter._  
 _With love, Hazel x_  
  
She smiled at the letter and put the quill down. She was about to stand up when she saw someone in front of her and almost fell down because corridors were empty so she didn’t expect anyone to show up. “Merlin! Don’t come up on me like that!” she said and put her hand on her heart. “You scared me.”  
  
“My apologies, Hazel. Are you okay?” Remus asked and looked at her once again. Her hair was in a low pony tail and he could see the freckles on her face. Her cheeks were a bit red when he looked at her and this is the moment when he realized he was staring too long. “I’m so sorry again, I didn’t mean to stare at you like that I-”  
  
Hazel looked at him while he was talking and just laughed. “Professor, it’s okay. It happens even to the best people.” Hazel bit the inside of her cheek and looked up at him, “what are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have any classes right now? Do you need me to help you with something?”  
  
“I could ask you the same question,” he said and chuckled a bit. “But no, I don’t have any classes right now. I’m free for the next 2 hours. I just came to see how you’re doing. So, how are you doing?” he asked, as always with a smile and a happy tone.  
  
“My first class starts in 30 minutes but I decided to leave earlier and just write a letter to my friends,” Hazel looked down at the letter she was holding in her hand and smiled. “I miss them so much. I still have friends here but it’s not the same,” she felt him sitting next to her and smiled a bit. “I feel lonely but not lonely at the same time. I love Hogwarts and I would love to stay here as long as possible. For example, if me being an auror doesn’t work out, I’m just gonna be a teacher just like you,” Hazel said and smiled. She looked at her professor that was now sat next to her and was looking at her very closely, “honestly, I would love to say here forever.”  
  
“It was very beautifully said, miss Harris,” Remus said, and bit his bottom lip. “When I was your age, I had no idea what to do with my life and now I see you have it all planned. I’m proud of you, honestly. And your parents would be proud, too.”  
  
Remus was hoping these words won’t make her sad, he wasn’t sure if mentioning her parents was a good idea but he did it anyway. “Thank you. I really appreciate it,” she smiled at him and leaned towards the wall. “I need to go soon, students are gonna be looking at me weirdly again,” she said and looked on her left where two younger girls were clearly talking about her sitting with her teacher. “Just like these two lovely Gryffindor girls that don’t know that even though you’re far away people can still see that you are talking behind their back.” Hazel said it loud enough for them to hear it as she looked at them and waved. They were clearly embarrassed and left quicker than they arrived. “Have a great day, girls!” she now looked back at her professor and smiled at him. He was looking at her with opened mouth and with raised eyebrows, “what? I wasn’t as rude as them eavesdropping.”  
  
“I know. I just…” he started but he looked like he was looking for right words to say, “you have courage, girl.” As these words left his lips he knew that he shouldn’t have said that. He was about to apologize when he heard Hazel giggle.  
  
“It’s okay we are literally alone. We can talk like normal people, don’t worry,” Hazel said and winked at her professor who was looking at her.  
  
“Yeah, right. I’m sorry I just don’t have much people I could talk to, like…” he was looking for the right word. “Like with a friend."  
  
“Sweet,” that was the only thing she replied with and then just smiled at him. Hazel stood up and bit her lip. “Thank you for sitting here with me,” she saw he stood up as well, he was tall. Like, really tall. She wasn’t small either, but he was still taller than her. “I’m just gonna go to my dorm and then go to class,” she said and looked up at him and smiled again, “see you later, sir."  
  
Without letting him reply with anything she just left him on a corridor like that. He was standing like that for a few seconds now and then turned back and saw her looking too, she just smiled again and then turned back again and walked away. “This girl,” Remus said quietly, “she’s going to be the death of me,” he thought to himself.After that he just smiled and walked away to his class to sit there for another two hours. He was hoping she would visit him between her classes but he quickly stopped himself. Was it wrong? He definitely felt bad thinking about Hazel, his student, in that way. But he couldn’t help himself.  
Hazel came back to her dorm where she met other girls from her house that she was sharing her dorm with. She used to share it with Donna and Freya, the only Ravenclaws in their friend group. Tess and Sophie were in Gryffindor. But since they finished school, she automatically got someone new. She quickly smiled at them and took her books. She was going to leave when one of them called her name. It was Darcy and Amelia, two girls that were sharing a dorm with Hazel.  
  
There was also another girl, Lily, Hazel was the closest with her, but she wasn’t here right now. Hazel looked up at them and smiled again asking if something’s wrong. “Oh! No, no we were just wondering…” she looked at Hazel and then at her friend. “Are you and professor Lupin, like, you know?” Darcy, the one with blonde hair asked.  
  
Hazel looked at her and raised her eyebrows, “what do you mean?” Hazel asked.  
  
“Like you two spend a lot of time together since last year,” she said and Hazel raised her eyebrows again. “He looks at you all the time when you don’t look. Are you two like a thing, or something?” Darcy asked. Hazel looked at her, waiting for her to add something more, but she didn’t see anything. She was so confused, but she felt these annoying feeling in her stomach. He was looking at her?  
  
“No, Merlin, no, no.” Hazel said and put her books down and came closer to the girls that were now looking at her, “as you probably know, I didn’t graduate last year and Professor McGonagall said that I had to assist one of the teachers with their classes and it’ll help me with graduate this year. And I picked professor Lupin, because Defense Against the Dark Arts is my best class so I just thought it’d be easy for me. And I’m also planning on becoming an auror after school and DADA is a very important subject on N.E.W.T’s.” She explained everything to her younger friends that now were less confused about everything. “So no, we are not dating or anything, why would you even think that? He’s a teacher.”  
  
A teacher that is looking at her when she’s not looking.  
  
“We were just confused, never really met anyone who had to be an assistant for a certain teacher. I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable at any point,” Amelia started but Hazel stopped her.  
  
“That’s okay, don’t worry,” she gave her a smile. “It’s the first time they do it. Because of what happened to me last year. They thought it was a waste that I couldn’t graduate after seven years here for a bad streak and poor luck,” Hazel explained. “Now girls, I need to get my books and get to Snape’s class in time if I don’t want detention on the very first day,” she smiled at them and proceeded to grab her books and come out of their room running at full speed.  
  
She was in class on time, a few minutes before Snape got into class. In today’s class Snape was teaching them about love potions. “Tell me, what is this called?” Snape asked with his slow voice, and looked around the class and showed them a little bottle with a liquid.  
  
“It’s amortentia, sir,” some Hufflepuff girl answered and Snape looked at her and nodded slowly, “you can smell whatever you are attracted to.”  
  
“Good,” said Snape and looked around the class again,“Harris, sleeping in my class, are we?” Hazel looked up and her teacher who was now stood in front of her. “Stand up and tell us what you smell. Quickly,” Hazel stood up and muttered “you could talk quicker as well” under her nose, “what was that?”  
  
“Oh nothing, sir,” Hazel said and smiled at her teacher, then looked at the potion and leaned down to smell it. “I smell,” she sniffed a few times and raised her eyebrows, “fallen leaves.” Another sniff, “chocolate and cinnamon, fireplace and black tea?” She looked up at her teacher that was now looking at her with raised eyebrows but then quickly changed it to his normal, grumpy, straight face.  
  
“Thank you, Harris. Next.” Snape said and looked around the class to find another victim.  
  
Hazel was sitting next to Lily, but she didn’t pay much attention for the rest of the class. She was deep, deep into her thoughts thinking about who smells like fireplace or chocolate? Black tea? Leaves?  
  
***  
  
Lesson ended, Hazel had another class, which was Charms. After that she was sure she had free period so she went to her dorm to relax a bit. She was on her way to the door when she heard her name being called. “Hazel?” she looked back and saw professor Lupin, all rushed, going her way, “what are you doing here? We have a class in two minutes,” he said pointing at his watch.  
  
“What?” she looked at him and he looked at her.  
  
“Yes, darling. It’s your free period now, which means you have a class with me and first years,” he laughed when he saw a look on her face.  
  
“I’m so sorry sir, I’m gonna go get my books and I’ll be in class in a few minutes. Don’t wait for me, I’ll be right back!” she said and once again left him without anything to say. She ran into her dorm, grabbed books and ran back to class. She stopped right before entering because she had to fix her pony tail, but after a few tries she decided to put her hair down. After that, she opened the door and entered the class. Class went silent which only made her uncomfortable but she acted unbothered about it. She smiled at everyone and sat on her place, which was in second row.  
  
“Now, that we’re all here I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Remus Lupin, but you can call me, professor Lupin.” Remus said and the class nodded in agreement. “So, most of you must be wondering what this lovely lady is doing here. Her name is Hazel Harris, but you may refer to her as miss Harris in my class. She will assist me in my classes during this year. The reason is not relevant,” he explained.  
  
“Or you can just call me Hazel, I’m not that old,” she interrupted him and looked at him. He just shook his head, smiling.  
  
“What’s important for you is that you pass this class in order to graduate,” he looked at Hazel and winked at her which only made her giggle. “Let’s start, shall we?” He knew she’s stressed so he didn’t take her to lead the class. Not yet. It’s her first class, she needed to watch first. She was watching him very carefully.  
  
She was paying attention to how he speaks, how he moves and how he looks. She caught herself a few times looking at him for too long, but he didn’t seem to notice. Hazel really enjoyed watching Remus while he was teaching. He was so focused on explaining the certain topic that whenever he got to this point where he was so happy and excited about something, he had this one long vein on his neck. She noticed it not a long time ago, and she found it very… interesting. The truth is that Hazel started thinking about her professor more often, and the thoughts weren’t very appropriate. She found herself thinking about him all the time, and she was scared of it. She didn’t want to catch feelings to anyone, because she knew she’s not ready for any relationship. Even less ready for a relationship with her professor.  
  
***  
  
Hazel and Lily, were sitting in the Great Hall eating dinner. Not everyone showed up on dinner so there were a few empty spots. She noticed Harry Potter and Ron Weasley sitting in the Gryffindor table next to Ron’s older brothers and some other Gryffindor’s students.  
  
“Do you think this Sirius Black is really that dangerous as they all say?” Hazel said. Lily looked at her and frowned her eyebrows.  
  
“Well, he’s a murderer.” She said and took a bite of her sandwich. “Of course he’s dangerous. They wouldn’t put him in Azkaban if he was innocent.” Lily rolled her eyes and looked at Gryffindor table and made an eye contact with Fred who winked at her. She looked away, but Hazel noticed that. “What are you doing tonight?” Lily asked as she took a bite of a sandwich, they were all eating. “Fred said that they are planning to throw a small party in Gryffindor room.”  
  
“I’m free,” Hazel said and looked at her friend. “Are you and Fred...?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Lily answered quickly. “We never kissed.”  
  
“You don’t have to kiss to feel something to each other. Feelings are more than kissing. When you feel comfortable around someone, when you trust someone, that’s what matters. When you feel chills whenever you see or hear them. When you think about them all the time and you can’t get them out of your mind.”  
  
Did you just described your feelings for Lupin to your friend without actually doing this? She asked herself, but threw the feeling away.  
  
“Maybe you’re right,” she sighed and took another bite of her sandwich.  
  
“I’m always right.”  
  
“Sure,” Lily giggled and sighed. “So?”  
  
“So what?” Hazel asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
“Do you like somebody?”  
  
“What? No, I don’t-”  
  
“Miss Harris,” she heard her name being called, and felt chills on her spine. She turned around and saw no one else but Professor Lupin going her way. “I was thinking, are you free later today? I have some free time I could help you with this one topic you said you don’t quite understand.”  
  
“Of course, what time are you free, professor?” Hazel answered without thinking first, Remus gave her a smile and she smiled back. Lily looked at them both and muttered something.  
  
“6PM?”  
  
“Perfect.”  
  
“See you in my office,” Remus said with a smile and left them alone.  
  
Hazel was looking at him walking away, but after Lily hit her on the shoulder, she came back on Earth. “What the hell are you doing?” Lily asked and looked at Hazel, who was looking at her with a question mark on her face.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Fred’s party is at 8.”  
  
“So? I still have 2 hours before it starts,” Hazel replied and rolled her eyes.  
  
“Sure,” Lily said and came back to eating her sandwich. Hazel looked at the staff table to see Lupin talking to McGonagall, smiling. She smiled because he was smiling. She liked when he was happy. She was staring for too long, because he suddenly looked her way and smiled at her. She blushed and smiled back but then looked away so fast. “What?” Lily asked after she saw Hazel’s blushing face, “what happened?”  
  
“Nothing, nothing.”  
  
A few hours passed. It was now around 5PM. Lily was already preparing her clothes and make up for a party, when Hazel was reading a topic about the subject Remus was about to explain to her. She didn’t understand that but she didn’t want to look completely stupid in front of him.  
  
“I can’t believe you’re really doing this.”  
  
“I don’t want to look stupid.” She said without looking away from the book. She didn’t understand half of what she was reading, but she didn’t want to go unprepared to his office.  
  
“That’s not what I meant, Hazel,” Lily said while curling her hair. “I meant that you’re going to Lupin’s office on Friday’s evening to study.”  
  
“I want my exams to be good, I really want to be an auror after school,” Hazel looked at her. “You know, I really want to finish school this year.”  
  
“I know, Haze, but it’s not even end of September, and you’re already covered in books. I understand you want to finish school with good grades but you can’t just ignore all the fun stuff going on.”  
  
“But I will be there, Lily. I’m gonna tell him I have to leave before 8 and then I’ll just join you guys.”  
  
“When are you gonna do your make up and stuff?”  
  
“In a minute,” Hazel said while she read another sentence. “I don’t understand this shit.”  
  
“What even is this?”  
  
“Dark Potions,” Hazel answered and hit her head with a book. “I know some things but it’s so complicated.”  
  
“Well, I’m sure Professor Lupin will help you with that. But now, please help me with my hair.”  
  
Hazel giggled, put the book down and helped Lily with curling her hair at the back.  
  
“I like your hair, I wish mine wasn’t curly,” Hazel said and touched Lily’s hair.  
  
“Are you kidding? I wish I had your hair. Mine is so boring, and yours ginger and curly. That’s a dream.”  
  
“Yeah, wait until it’s raining. It’s a nightmare, not a dream.”  
  
After about 20 minutes Lily’s hair was done. She looked beautiful, Hazel thought. Lily was a beautiful girl. Long, brown hair. Skinny figure but she had some curves where she needed. She had full, pink lips and dark eyes. In conclusion, she was perfect, and Hazel was jealous because she knew that she will never be as pretty as Lily. “Now, let’s do you,” Lily said and sat Hazel down on a chair in front of a small mirror. Hazel looked at her friend and shook her head, “what?”  
  
“I don’t need this. I need to be in Lupin’s class in 10 minutes.”  
  
“Please,” Lily rolled her eyes and put some mascara on her face, rose lipstick and filled her red eyebrows with something Hazel didn’t even know. The truth is that she never really liked make-up. Her skin didn’t need it, she sometimes used mascara but besides that, nothing. “Maybe Lupin will let you pass without studying.”  
  
“Lily!” Hazel said and hit her friend on her arm. She couldn’t help but blushed a little bit, “don’t ever say that again.” Lily only laughed at her friend’s reaction and finished her make-up. She also gave her some clothes, but Hazel didn’t put them on, because the dress she gave her was inappropriate. Hazel put on a pair of black jeans and brown jumper.  
  
Hazel left her dorm, promising Lily once again that she will show up on a party. She walked through the corridor. She was alone, because everyone else was either in their dorm or in the library. But since it was Friday some students could leave the castle. Hazel finally arrived to Lupin’s class and knocked three times, and walked in. She wasn’t surprised that she didn’t see her professor here. He was probably in his office. She took a deep breath and went there. The door was closed and when she was about to knock the door opened.  
  
“Miss Harris,” Remus said and smiled at her, “I thought you’re not gonna come. Come in.”  
  
“I’m sorry, professor. My friend is so stubborn and she didn’t let me leave until she’s done with my hair and other stuff,” Hazel said as she sat on the chair in front of his desk. “Gryffindor boys are having some kind of party at 8 and she told me to come.” Remus looked at her and smiled, Hazel realized what she said and that she wasn’t supposed to say it, because partied in the castle were not allowed. “Oh my, I said too much-”  
  
“Don’t worry, Hazel. I’m not gonna tell anyone,” he said and sat behind his desk, “you think we were saint, too?”  
  
“Don’t tell me you were breaking school rules, sir.”  
  
“Well, I wasn’t a fan of that, but my friends were. Especially James and Sirius, I was usually covering their arses.” Sirius? Sirius as Sirius Black? Professor Lupin knew Sirius Black? Hazel decided to ignore this and just go with the conversation.  
  
“It’s the same for me, I don’t really like parties but I promised already, so I have to go. Even if that’s just for an hour or something.”  
  
“So how much time do we have before you need to leave?” Remus asked and looked at the clock on his wall.  
  
“Well, as for me I could be even late, but that’s rude. So I don’t know, it’d be good if we ended around 7:50?”  
  
“Works perfect for me,” Remus gave her a smile and looked down at his book. “Now, tell me. What is it that you don’t know?”  
  
“Dark potions, sir.”  
  
Remus nodded and opened his book on the right chapter. “Potions is no necessary my area of experience, it’s more of a Professor’s Snape thing, but I know a few things,” Hazel sat closer to his desk and put her chin on her hands. “First, we need to consider what a Dark Potion truly means. What do you think it means?”  
  
“A Dark potion could mean something evil,” Hazel said and looked up at Remus. “I think it’s any potion that has an effect which has the inherent intent to cause a harm to somebody.”  
  
“Perfect, Hazel!” Remus said enthusiastically and she smiled. “By what you just said we can exclude potions such as the Elixir to Induce Euphoria and the Draught of Peace from category of potions.” Remus looked at Hazel, who was now staring at him like she saw a ghost, “meaning, these two potions has the inherent intent to cause a harm.”  
  
“Oh!”  
  
Remus and Hazel spent an hour and a half on talking about potions, and even though it wasn’t Remus’ best subject he knew some things. Hazel could listen to him talking for hours and she wouldn’t be bored. He liked talking to her, too. Remus liked the look on her face when he understood what he just explained to her. It gave him satisfaction but also made him happy that she is happy. “We finished earlier than I thought,” Remus said and smiled at Hazel who returned the smile. Remus noticed the sadness on her face. He smiled at her and gave her a piece of dark chocolate. “I hope you like dark chocolate; I have milk one, too.”  
“I enjoy the dark one,” Hazel took a chocolate from him and gave him a smile, “I don’t like white chocolate, because it’s not even a chocolate”  
  
“That’s not even a chocolate”  
  
They both said it at the same time and giggled quietly.  
  
“It’s late, I should go,” she said and stood up. He stood up, as well, like a gentleman. “Thank you for today, sir.”  
  
“Anytime, dear. Let me know when you need help, I’ll try to find some free time for you,” Remus said and looked at her. She was wearing black jeans and a jumper. Her hair was down and he could see a little bit of make-up on her face. She looked beautiful.  
  
They both started walking towards the door and stopped. Remus opened her door and she thanked him and smiled at him shyly.  
  
“Goodnight, professor.”  
  
“Goodnight, miss Harris.” Hazel left his office and started going down the stairs. Remus was stood on the top of the staircase, looking at her. She was almost next to the door when he called her name, she turned around to see him looking at her. “Don’t drink too much, please.” There was something in the way he said it and it sounded like he was serious. It wasn’t only a teacher’s joke; it was more like words of someone who really cares.  
  
“I won’t. I promise,” Hazel answered with a smile and left the classroom.  
  
Hazel arrived to the Gryffindor common room right in time. A lot of people greeted her and she smiled at them. She found Lily sitting on Fred’s lap and she waved at her. The party didn’t even start but half of people were already drinking. Hazel wasn’t a huge fan of alcohol but she liked to drink sometimes. The party lasted till 3AM but Hazel left around midnight, because she didn’t feel like staying any longer. She came back to her dorm and fell asleep. She spent the whole Saturday outside, because the weather was beautiful. She came back inside after a few hours and bumped into professor Lupin on her way to her dorm. He invited her for a cup of tea, because he knew she had a hangover, and tea usually help. They spent the whole evening together, talking about everything and anything. The same thing on Sunday. Hazel woke up around 8AM and went to eat breakfast, and then went to the library study for a bit. She met up with Remus later, as well. He promised to show her his new books she bought in the Hogsmeade last week, and since they both enjoyed reading,they had fun time talking about it.  
  
***  
  
It was Monday which meant that Hazel had another class with Remus. It was another day when she was just watching. But she knew she had to step in one day. And after two weeks of watching, she felt like she was ready. Tuesday came. Classes with third year. Classes with Harry Potter. Everyone knew Harry Potter.  
Remus introduced her to everyone and she simply smiled at younger students and got back to her desk that was next to the big window. Class was going good so far. Hazel wasn’t paying much attention at the beginning because she had already taken this class, but what she was paying attention to, was her teacher. The way he talked, the way he looked at his students and the way he was just being himself. She would lie if she said she didn’t have a crush on him, because she kind of did. And she still couldn’t believe she was saying this. But was it pure admiration for her teacher that had helped her through such hard times or was it something more?  
  
Little did she know, he couldn’t take his eyes off her either. Did he feel the same?  
  
“Okay class, now please everyone stand up and come closer,” Lupin said and looked at Hazel. “Hazel, come here, next to me, please.” She looked at the rest of the class and then at Remus who was waiting for her to stand next to him. She didn’t know why but she felt a rush inside her when she was next to him while he was teaching. Maybe the idea of him being someone who leads the class and is basically a boss here made her blush or maybe it was simply because he looked much better than yesterday. Not that like he looked bad yesterday, but today he looked different. “Before we begin, does anyone know what’s inside this closet?” Remus asked while walking around the class, looking at his students.  
  
“That’s a boggart, that is.”  
  
“Very good mister Thomas. Now, can anybody tell me what a boggart looks like?”  
  
“No one knows,” said Hermione Granger. Hazel didn’t know her very well; all she knew was that she’s friends with Harry Potter and one of Weasley brothers and also that she’s very smart. “Boggarts are shapeshifters. They take a shape of whatever particular person fears the most. That’s what makes them so-”  
  
“Terrifying.” Hazel said and looked at Remus who was now looking directly at her and so were the whole class. “Oh- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Hazel started to apologize but Remus stopped her.  
  
“No no, go on. I know you know it,” the professor said and looked at her. “What charm do we need to use to repeal a boggart?”  
  
“Well-” she started and turned around to face all the students. “There’s a very simple charm to repeal a boggart.” Hazel looked back at Remus who was now standing almost next to her. “It’s very simple,” she took a deep breath and looked at them once again,“repeat after me, but without wands please.” Hazel suddenly felt like a newborn. She wasn’t stressed anymore but she was happy. Like this is where she belongs.“Riddikulus!”  
  
Remus was nowstood to the side looking at her conducting the class, he felt proud of how far she had come. Without anyone noticing he found himself smiling while looking at Hazel. Why did he smile? He didn’t have this feeling when any of his other students got something right. Was he catching feelings?  
  
“Riddikulus!” the whole class repeated after her and she turned around to face her professor who was still smiling at her.  
  
“Can you continue? I don’t want to do something wrong and put someone in danger,” she asked quietly and he nodded and smiled once again.  
  
Remus moved to the center of the class, next to Hazel and touched her shoulder. “Okay thank you, miss Harris.” Remus said and sent her back to the students, “as you heard, one word spell can repeal a boggart. Let’s practice it once again, but louder and clearer...riddikulus!” After a few tries, the whole class finally got it right. Even Hazel was practicing and taking the class very seriously even though she had already taken this one.“That’s enough of an easy part. You see, the incantation alone is not enough. What really finishes a boggart is laughter. You need to force it to assume a shape you find truly amusing. Let me explain-” Remus said and looked around only to find Hazel. “Miss Harris, come here, darling.”  
  
Darling. There was that rush again. She slightly blushed.  
  
Hazel took another deep breath and joined Remus. She stood in front of him and looked at him. She was a bit shy, again. But Remus’ smile helped her relax.  
  
“Tell me, what frightens you most of all?”  
  
She was scared of this question. She really didn’t want to answer that because right now, the first thing that came into her mind was losing her parents but this already happened. So, what now? “I-” she began, “I honestly have no idea, sir. My biggest fear came true, I-” Remus’ hand on her shoulder stopped her from talking.  
  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you upset,” he had remembered what he had asked her. “How didn’t I think about this? I feel horrible.”  
  
“No, professor it’s all good,” she smiled and looked at the closet where a boggart was. “I’ll try to think about something.”  
  
“Okay,” he smiled at her and stood behind her. She felt chills all over head body, “now I want you-” Remus was very close to her and leaned towards her. “I want you to think about something that makes you laugh, something good, funny,” she felt his breath touching her ear and then chills all over hear body again. “Can you do that?” Remus said loudly and looked at his student, she nodded and smiled at him. Remus stood next to her once again and opened the closet with his wand. After a few seconds a boggart turned into a big, black dog. Remus looked at Hazel who was almost shaking but she was trying to stay sill. Memories of her being attacked by a dog a few years ago came back into her mind. But she couldn’t give up. “Stay still, focus and do it. You got this.” Hazel took a deep breath and when a dog started going towards her, she moved her wand while saying the spell and this big black dog turned into a stuffed pink pig. Remus started clapping and so did the rest of the class. “Wonderful, Hazel! Go to the back, now. Ron, you’re next!”  
  
After a few minutes other students got to change their biggest fear into something funny. Until Harry Potter was in front of the boggart. This is when things took a bad turn.Everybody started to gasp as if there were all afraid of what was in front of them. Hazel being in the back of the class couldn’t see anything, only hear the other students gasp and get back slowly with some hits along the way. “Here!” she heard Remus’ scream and she, being scared as well got to the front of the line as fast as she could. She saw Remus throwing a boggart inside of the closed again but didn’t get to see what it was. “I’m sorry guys, it’s gonna be this for today. See you next week. I’m sorry.” Remus said almost shaken by the situation.  
  
His hair looked all ruffled up and she could swear she could hear his heart even from this distance.Students started groaning but they did as their teacher told them to. Hazel waited for all the students to leave the room so she could go and check up on him. She saw him staying in the middle of the class, but he wasn’t facing her. He was looking at the closet. She decided to go near him because she looked like he needed someone. She approached him and touched his back. He didn’t even move but she could swear she felt chills all over her and his body.  
  
“Are you okay, professor?” he finally looked at her and she could see the sadness in his eyes. “Actually, it was a stupid question, forget it,” she smiled and he smiled back, finally facing her. “Do you want to talk about it?”  
  
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said and looked down at her, turning his body in the way they both were facing each other.  
  
They were standing so close. If he looked down and she looked up at the same time their faces would be just inches away. But she couldn’t look at his face yet. Well, she did for a second but after she saw his sad face, she couldn’t look at him again; it broke her heart. If she looked at her professor that way right now she knew she was going to cry. “Rubbish,” she said and he raised his eyebrows. “That’s rubbish, professor. Don’t lie to me and tell me what happened. You’re always encouraging me to open up and talk about things. So, let me help you.” He wanted to say something but she interrupted him, “does it have something to do with Harry and his boggart?”  
  
“You can say that,” he finally spoke up and once again looked down at her.  
  
“What was that? I couldn’t see it because you sent me at the end of the class,” she asked but he didn’t answer. “Remus Lupin, talk to me right now.”  
  
He smirked a bit on the sound of his full name.  
  
“It was a dementor,” he finally said and turned around to face the window. “Well... it just had the shape of a dementor of course, but it was still a dementor in his eyes. This is much harder than I thought.”  
  
“What is?” she asked and came up to him once again, this time she stood next to him so their shoulders were touching. “Remus, please talk to me. I want to help you.” He looked at her and smiled when he heard her saying his name. It sounded so nice hearing it from her. “You don’t trust me, do you? We know each other for how long? Since last year. I know it’s not this much, but I trusted you in the first second I started talking to you.” Hazel said and chuckled. “When you found me sitting in the forest, and when you said all those things to me, and comforted me, gave me chocolate and then brought me to the hospital wing…” Hazel smiled and looked at him, “I trust you. I can’t make you trust me, but I’m here if you need a friend.”  
  
“I know, Hazel. And I really appreciate it, and you,” Remus smiled at her and then looked away. “I’ll tell you this one day. I just don’t want to ruin your mood today. You seem happy and I like seeing you happy,” he said and looked outside the big window once again. She smiled a bit after she heard those words. It made her feel better but this wasn’t about her right now. It was about him. And she wanted to make him feel better.  
  
Without thinking first, Hazel stood in front of Remus and hugged him. She was scared he would push her away but after a few seconds she felt arms around her small body. She smiled a bit and then she felt his chin resting on top of her head. She once again grabbed his jumper and held it tightly in case he wanted to go somewhere. His arms were holding her close to him. She could hear his heartbeat. They were stood like this for a few minutes. Her arms were holding him in the middle of his body, and his huge arms were hugging her tightly onto him. He was so warm, she felt safe in his arms. She could smell his specific scent and this is when it hit her.  
  
He smelled too familiar.  
  
Chocolate, because he always carries chocolate with him to gave it to people that need it. Fireplace and black tea, because this is what he has in his chamber. Fallen eaves, because his favorite season of the year is Autumn and he always goes for walks to the Forbidden Forest. This is when it hit her. She likes him. She is attracted to him. This is not just a crush; she is seriously attracted to him. The love potion is no joke.She looked up at him and saw him staring at her as well. She felt this rush in her stomach and she suddenly got nervous.  
  
Were they about to kiss? They looked at each other for a second then everything clicked.Remus realized what he felt every time he saw her and she accepted her feelings.He looked deeply into her eyes and put both of his hands on her cheeks. She smiled at him and then looked at his lips, biting her own. He could see her staring at him so he started rubbing her cheek with his thumb, touching her lips as well.  
  
“I’m going to kiss you right now,” his voice was soft, but she felt chills all over her body.  
  
“Okay,” Hazel answered, almost whispering, and closed her eyes.  
  
The next thing she felt was Remus’ lips on her own.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update.

When their lips met, both of them felt chills all over their bodies. He could feel her smiling through the kiss which made him smile as well. Her lips tasted so sweet, like mint but also strawberries. He was the first one to pull away but he didn’t go anywhere, he just rested his forehead on hers and laughed. She laughed as well and looked up at him once more. “I didn’t expect it to happen, you know?” he said after a few seconds of silence, “I hope I didn’t creep you out.”

“No, of course not,” Hazel put her hand on his cheek and felt him leaning in and smiled once again. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” Remus’ voice was so soft, she loved it.

“Well you have your answer,” she laughed and looked into his eyes, “I didn’t expect it to happen either. Honestly, I’m glad it did.”

“You are?” he asked and looked at her with raised eyebrows, she nodded. “Hazel, darling, you know what we just did, cannot leave this room,” she nodded again. “No one can know, this is inappropriate. If someone finds out, if Dumbledore-”

Hazel rolled her eyes,“I know Remus,” she took one step closer to him and connected their lips together again. She knew this kiss was unexpected, so he didn’t kiss back at first, but once he processed what happened he finally kissed back. She loved the taste of his lips. He tasted like chocolate, obviously. His lips were so soft and warm. She could feel his left hand on the bottom of her back. His warm fingers of his right hand against her skin on her neck. She heard him groaning after she bit his bottom lip and then slowly pulled away.

His lips were still parted. He was looking at her.

“You never stop talking, do you?” Remus nodded, but didn’t say anything. “Never, yes. You are just nodding now,” she said while all he was doing was nodding to whatever she said. “Are you okay? Please say something.”She actually liked this side of him. A bit shy but in a positive way. “Remus, focus.”

“I’m sorry I’m just trying to understand what just happened here,” Remus said and took a few deep breaths. “I just can’t believe that you didn’t run away from here yet.”

“Why would I do that?” she looked at him and wanted to touch him but he took one step back.

“I’m your teacher, Hazel. And I kissed you.”

“And I kissed you back,” Hazel said with a smirk.

“And it scares me the most,” Remus said and looked away.

He couldn’t look at her. He felt guilty. He knew she’s of legal age but it still felt wrong. No, it felt right. That’s what made him feel wrong. He enjoyed it, and so did she.“Why is this scary to you?” Hazel looked up at him and tried to come closer to him but he pulled away from her. She knew exactly what he was doing. “No, Remus I know what you’re doing.” Remus looked at her with fear in his eyes. Maybe they shouldn’t have done it? What if someone finds out? He knew Hazel wouldn’t tell anyone about it but what if they weren’t careful the next time? Was it gonna be a next time? Remus started overthinking.“You are thinking about ‘what if’, aren’t you?” Hazel said without looking at him.

She couldn’t. It hurt. She was scared just as much as he was. She was scared she’s gonna lose him, too. And she didn’t want that. He was the only close person in her life right now. Of course she had her friends but they weren’t here. She finally looked at him and saw he was looking at her, too.

“It was a mistake. I don’t want you to think I take advantage of you. I don’t want you to think about me like that,” Remus took a few steps back still looking at her. He saw she was hurt by his sudden change of emotions. He didn’t regret anything that happened but he was scared. He was scared because he cared about her too much and he didn’t want her to think the wrong thing.

Hazel looked at him and felt like she was about to either cry or scream at him. She couldn’t believe this is what was in his head right now after they just kissed. He thought she was going to hate him. But this was wrong, it was the best for both if they kept their distances. He was his teacher and mentor for Merlin’s sake. “Do you regret it?” the young girl asked not looking at him anymore. She couldn’t. She didn’t want to cry. He wasn’t responding so she finally looked at him. A bit annoyed now. “Remus, do you regret kissing me?”

“I don’t know,” he finally said but still was a few meters away from her. He didn’t regret it but he didn’t want to give her hopes either.

“How can you say that, Remus?” her voice broke and she had tears in her eyes. His silence broke her. “Is this only a game to you? Last year and now this? Was it only a joke to you?” Hazel wasn’t looking at him anymore. She didn’t have strength, she felt betrayed, “Am I a toy to you?” he started shaking his head and muttering “no” under his breath and tried to go closer to her to stop her tears but it was her who backed off this time.

“Hazel, you need to understand,” he tried to grab her hand, but she backed off.

“Don’t touch me,” Hazel looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “Talk to me when you know what you want,” she turned around and left the room. Remus was still standing in the middle of the room not knowing what to do. He wanted to follow her and explain everything but he knew he couldn’t. Hazel left the room in tears but she had to wipe them off because the corridor was full of students. They didn’t notice that because her hair was covering half of her face.

She knew the next lesson started in 30 minutes and she needed to focus in this one. She needed to pass everything and nothing could stop her. Especially not a silly crush. But it wasn’t a crush, and she knew it. The redheaded entered the Ravenclaw common room and went to her dorm. She sat down on her bed and buried her face in her hands. No one was there so no one saw her. She didn’t want to cry but she just couldn’t help herself.

“Hazel?” she heard her name so she looked up and saw Lily. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she said and smiled at her friend. “Everything’s okay. I just...” she was trying to come up with something and she didn’t have to think too long. “I just miss my parents more than usual.” Lily sat down next to her and hugged her. Hazel smiled at her younger friend and exhaled loudly. They were sittinglike that for a few minutes and then went to transfiguration class together. Hazel couldn’t focus on anything and McGonagall noticed that, so she decided to ask Hazel about it after the lesson ends. Hazel was about to leave he class when she heard her name being called. She looked back and saw her professor smiling at her and waving at her. “Yes, professor?” Hazel said and looked at the older woman. “Am I in trouble?”

“No, dear. Of course not! I just wanted to ask if everything is okay? You seem really distracted today.”

“Yes, I’m just really, really not in a great mood today. I’m sorry I wasn’t focused in class. I promise I won’t do it again. I just feel so down and don’t know how to cope with that.” Hazel said and looked away because she felt like she’s about to cry again.

“Does it have something to do with professor Lupin?” McGonagall asked after a few seconds and looked at her student who was now looking at her, too. Hazel’s heart was beating so fast. Does she know something? “I saw you leaving his class in a rush. Did he say or do something inappropriate?”

“No!” Hazel said quickly and started shaking her head. The idea of him taking advantage hadn’t passed her mind; quite the contrary.“No, he didn’t do anything. We just... got into an argument about one thing, lesson related, and I don’t like arguments so I just started crying. Nothing bad happened, professor. I promise.”

McGonagall was still looking at her but smiled eventually.

“Alright, dear. Thank you for telling me that. I know you don’t really like talking about your feelings,” Minerva looked at her and gave her a smile.“You’re just like your father, Edward.” On a sound of her father’s name her heart started to beat faster. “He always kept everything inside, too. It was you mother,Suzanne who helped him open up.”McGonagall smiled at her and came closer to her, “they would be so proud of you.” Hazel muttered quiet ‘thank you’ and smiled back. “Now go, I don’t think you want to sit here away from everyone,” but little did she know, that was exactly what she wanted to do.

Hazel left class and not longer than 10 seconds later she bumped into someone. She knew exactly who this is because she felt this specific scent. She didn’t want to look up. But she did, and she saw him. “I’m sorry, professor,” she muttered and wanted to leave but she felt a grip on her wrist. “Let me go,” she said quietly and looked him deep into eyes. She saw they were a little bit red and was starting to tear up again. “Please?” she said and her voice cracked.  
  
He softened the grip on her wrist, “can we talk?” he asked but she shook her head.  
  
“You had a chance to talk. Now if you excuse me, I have to go.” She said without breaking the eye contact but he still didn’t let her go. “You’re hurting me, Remus.” Remus looked down on her wrist, he was holding her too hard. He let her go and she left leaving him on the empty corridor.

***

Hazel was avoiding Remus since that day, which was making everything more complicated because of their classes together. Even other students noticed the big change in their way of communicating. They were always so happy and some could say flirty and now it’s just… gone. Hazel really didn’t want it to be like this but she was hurt. Why did he act that way? After everything they went through… all those talks along the forbidden forest. The hugs when they were alone, the laughs they shared and the looks they gave each other. She smelled him when they were making Amortentia and the way he only called her “darling”, she could swear he felt the same. So why the sudden change of actions? And why after they had just kissed? Did she do something wrong? That was what kept her up all night the next two weeks. It was draining and she started to doze off in class as well. She wanted to ask him why but every time she thought about it, it only ended in tears.

For Remus the situation wasn’t any different. He kept thinking what he had done. If anyone ever knew about what happened in that class that day… It would be over for him. He didn’t have it easy already due to him being a werewolf but hooking up with a student? Sure, she was of legal age but it was still wrong. Anyone could think he was taking advantage of her and he could get fired because of it. And he needed that job. But soon even his colleagues and students started noticing him distracted; he arrived late to class, overslept some days and even forgot one class one day. He also wanted to talk to her but every time he tried to contact her, she rolled her eyes and ignored him. She was mad, he didn’t blame her. After all, he was a coward for acting that way. He knew he messed up but he was tired of missing her. Of missing his… Hazel. His happy girl. The one that could light up his entire day just by looking at her. The one girl who made him laugh with the simplest of things. The girl who made him feel like the luckiest man in the whole world. The only person who didn’t make him feel like a monster.

It was Friday. Remus didn’t even know what date it is. All he knew was the month, which was October. Or more like about two weeks into October, already. He had his last lesson for today. Lesson with Hazel’s year, what made him anxious. He felt like it before every class with her, since they got into this argument. Students were slowly entering the class but he was looking only for one student. He was looking for her but he couldn’t see her. He looked around, maybe she just sat somewhere further? There was no sign of Hazel. “Guys do you know where miss Harris is?” Remus finally asked and looked around again, “she’s never missed class”.

“She wasn’t feeling too good last night and she woke up with fever this morning,” said Lily, her friend, “she’s in the hospital wing right now.”

All those weeks not being able to sleep well and staying awake almost all night finally took its toll. Remus looked at her with fear in his eyes but he had to pretend this didn’t move him. He just simply nodded and turned around. He took a few deep breaths and turned back around to face the whole class waiting for him to start today’s lesson. The truth is that he couldn’t focus on anything now, while knowing Hazel was in the hospital right now. The lesson slowly passed and students started to leaving the class. Remus was sitting in his desk, doing something with his papers when he saw someone in front of him. He looked up and saw Lily smiling at him.

“I think she would want you to visit her, professor,” Lily said calmly. “She told me what happened between you two. I think avoiding situation like this is not good. You need to talk it out.” Remus looked at his student, scared about what did she know about it, “because honestly, professor, I’m sick of seeing you two avoiding each other and the aura surrounding you two is so distracting.”

Lily didn’t say anything else and was about to leave the classroom when she heard her name. “What did she exactly tell you?” professor Lupin asked.

“What do you mean?” Lily looked at him with raised eyebrows, “she told me that you two got into an argument about something lesson related. She didn’t tell me exactly what but it’s stupid in my opinion. You two need to figure this out, because it doesn’t bother only me but other students too. You are distracted and more nervous. And being silent doesn’t help at all,” she said and looked at him last time. “So, I’d go see her if I were you. She’s feeling weak now so she won’t be able to argue with you, and I’m sure you know how good she’s at this. Good luck, sir.” And so, she left.

Remus was thinking about her words and she was right. He had to do it now. He stood up from his chair and left the classroom. The corridor wasn’t empty so a few students gave him weird looks after he left the classroom so quickly, almost running.He also saw Lily who winked at him and he just chuckled. Remus quickly reached the hospital wing just to see Madam Pomfrey standing next to Hazel’s bed. She looked at him and she didn’t look surprised at all.

“You keep causing troubles even at this age? Remus Lupin you won’t ever stop being a marauder, will you?” Madam Pomfrey scolded him and he lowered his head. He felt really sorry.

“Is she okay?” was the only thing he said.

“She’ll be fine. Better than last time, anyway.” She gave him the look. The first time they had outside school incident she also ended up in hospital bed. “She was worse in the morning. Her friend brought her here, when I tell you she almost fainted in my arms. She’s okay now, just asleep. She should be awake soon, but please don’t be too hard on her,” Madam Pomfrey said and without giving him any chance to say something back, she just left.

Remus sat next to her bed and looked at her. She looked so peaceful while she was asleep. She’s so beautiful, he thought. Her ginger hair falling on her face, he wanted to touch her face and take the hair out of her face. Her lips were slightly parted and he could hear her snoring quietly. Her freckles weren’t on her face, because she was so pale. 30 minutes passed when he finally heard a noise coming from her. He looked down at her and saw her opening her eyes. At first, she looked confused but when he saw him her face expression changed.

“What are you doing here?” she asked without making an eye contact with him.

“Just let me talk, please,” he tried to talk but she wouldn’t listen.

“We will talk,” Hazel said and finally looked at him. “But not now. Not here.” She sat down on a bed, and he was trying to stop her because she should be resting but she stopped him. “It’s okay, I’m okay. Listen to me, we can’t talk here. I’ll be off to my room tomorrow but we can talk... on Sunday. I just don’t have strength to talk about it right now,” Remus was looking at her and Merlin, he wanted to kiss her so bad right now. “You’ve hurt me, you know?”

“I know and I’m-” he tried to speak but she stopped him again.

“It’s okay. We’ll talk soon, okay?” she asked and smiled weakly at him. “Now go. Please.”

Remus was fighting with his own thoughts but he gave up. He knew she was weak right now, he didn’t want to make her sadder or any different negative emotion. He left a chocolate bar on her night stand and stood up, not being able to look at her.

“I’m sorry,” he truly felt these words.

Hazel looked away before tearing up again; “I know.”


	5. Chapter 5

Remus came back to his classroom and as soon as he closed the door, tears started falling down his cheeks. He didn’t want to cry in front of anyone ever. He never did that. He didn’t want anyone to see himin that state of mind, he needed to show everyone he was strong and that he could handle any situation. This evening was tough for both Remus and Hazel. He sat on his bed thinking about everything thathad happened and how to fix it. She had to go to bed and try to sleep because she couldn’t handle the pain she felt, but lucky for her medications she had let her fall asleep quite quickly. But she was so nervous. And so was he. What was she going to say? What was she going to do? Was she going to break up with him even before they became a couple? They both were so similar to each other and it hurt both of them. They were perfect for each other and they knew it. That’s why it hurt. One was afraid and the other had too many expectations.

Hazel got back to her dorm on Saturday afternoon, but she didn’t do much. She was still weak so all she did was reading a book and napping. Hazel woke up so earlythe next day that no one except her was awake, and got out of bed immediately. She didn’t really know what to do, because Sunday was their day off, a day to study in a library, so this is what she was going to do. It was so quiet so she decided to spend some hours there so she didn’t have to think about meeting with Remus. She wasn’t prepared and she knew he wouldn’t come looking for her in a place where anyone could see them.

It was now 8AM, she put on some black leggings and oversized sweater, she decided to skip breakfast so she just took some books and headed straight to the library that was almost empty except for some girls studying together for an exam they had next day. She sat in a table at the corner of the library where no one could bother her. There were no shelves near her so no one should come around her looking for books either.She felt lonely, she felt bad, she felt like the whole world is against her. Tears started falling down her cheeks but she had to stop, because the idea of crying in the library wasn’t the best. After a few minutes of sobbing, she wiped her tears and got back to reading. After 4 hours in the library she finally left to eat lunch in the Great Hall. She knew what that meant. She had to face everyone. And him. She was hoping he wouldn’t be there but it was impossible.

Hazel left the library and went to her dorm to leave the books there. She noticed Lily sitting on her bed so she smiled at her. “You going to eat lunch?” Hazel asked and smiled at her friend.

“Yes! I was actually going to ask you the same.” Girls left the Ravenclaw common room and went their way to the Great Hall. They were laughing and smiling and talking about everything, and the same thing while having lunch. Lily was Hazel’s closest friend after her other friends graduated last year. In the middle of the dinner Hazel looked up to the teacher’s table to see that Remus’ place was empty. She also saw McGonagall looking at her so she just smiled and looked away. “That was awkward,” she thought.

After lunch, Lily went with her friends to watch Quidditch training and asked Hazel to go with them but she told them she had to do something and that she’d join later. She was so stressed but she had to do it. She couldn’t avoid him forever and pretend like it was nothing. Without realization Hazel found herself at her teacher’s door. She was about to knock when the door suddenly opened and she saw Remus in front of her, as surprised as she was.

“Hazel,” he gasped when he saw her. She was so beautiful, even with no make-up on and wearing black leggings and a sweater. “Come in,” he said as he moved away to let her in. “I was just going to go look for you.”

“I didn’t see you at lunch, are you okay?” she asked, completely ignoring what he just said and finally looked at him.

“Yes, I just lost track in time. I was marking the last exam,” he said and pointed at his desk. “You did great, by the way,” she smiled. “So, do you want some tea?”

“Yes, tea would be great.” Remus nodded and went upstairs leaving her alone with her thoughts. She took a deep breath and followed him.After all these months you’d think it would go smoothly but everything felt so awkward and uncomfortable. None of them knew what to say or to do.“I’ve been thinking about what happened lately,” Hazel said softly after a few minutes of silence, and looked at Remus who was now looking at her, too. “And I’ve decided that whatever happened between us needs to be forgotten,” she saw he was about to say something, but she didn’t let him. “Don’t say anything. You’ve said enough, and you seem regretting it so I think it’ll be better for both of us, if we just come back to our student-teacher relationship,” she stood up, putting the tea down and looking at him, once again. “Thank you for the tea, professor.”

Professor.

The way she said it hurt him, but he knew that’s the right thing to do. They needed to forget what they had. It was wrong. He could lose his job and she could be expelled. And none of them wanted it. Hazel smiled at him and turned around when she felt his hand on her wrist. She turned around to see him looking directly into her eyes, shaking his head. She looked down at her wrist and then back at him, he let her go without saying anything. She just left his office and the next thing he heard was the sound of closing the door. Remus sat back down on his chair and looked around. He was hurt, but he didn’t say anything. He was angry, because she didn’t let him speak, but he understood. He hurt her first, and she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. She deserves way better; she deserves someone her age who will treat her right.

Hazel left his classroom and went outside. She needed some air. “Hazel!” she heard someone calling her name when she stepped outside and saw Lily waving at her.

Hazel joined her and her friends with watching Quidditch training. The truth is Hazel wasn’t a huge fan of Quidditch but she could do anything to distract herself right now “what do you think about Josh? He keeps looking over here, but he wasn’t doing this before you came.”

“It’s just a-” She tried to say but she was cut off by Lily.

“No it’s not. I think he fancies you,” Lily smiled at her friend and looked at Josh who was still looking in their direction. He was on a completely different side of the Quidditch court. “Wave at him!”

Hazel looked at her friend and rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to go into any kind of relationship with Josh Parker. It’s not that she hated him, she just didn’t want to be hurt again. She finished a “relationship” no longer than 10 minutes ago. Hazel could feel Lily’s eyes on her for the whole time so she finally gave up and looked at Josh again and waved at him, then looked at Lily who was now smiling from eye to eye. “Happy?” Hazel asked with an obvious sarcasm in her tone. Lily nodded, smiling for the whole time. Hazel spent 2 hours with her friends and Lily who was trying to convince her to go and talk to Josh for the whole time, but Hazel was ignoring her. If Hazel doesn’t want to do something, she’s just ignoring the situation until it’s gone. She knew it’s a bit unhealthy but it always works. And this is how she was avoiding her problems for a few next days.

“Where are you going?” Lily asked when she saw Hazel going completely different way than them. Hazel looked at her and gave her questioning look. “I thought you were going to Gryffindor common room with us?” Hazel was still standing there, looking confused. Lily sighed and took one step closer to her, “I told you, Fred, George, Josh... and their friends are throwing a party tonight. “

“We have a test tomorrow,” Hazel said with a straight face. “And no, you didn’t tell me anything.”

“Yes, I did. You just weren’t listening, as usual,” Lily rolled her eyes and looked at Hazel. “Are you sure you’re alright? You are acting so weird in the last few days. Well, more than that but-“

“Yes, yes I’m alright. I’m just tired,” Hazel cut the topic and looked at Lily with a smile. “I’m not going to the party. I’m staying in the library so I can study for tomorrow’s test. You should, too, but I’m not gonna tell you what to do.”

“But Josh-”

“Lily, please stop talking!” Hazel cut her off and looked at her, slightly irritated now. “What’s your deal with me and Josh? I don’t like him. Not like that,” she said and took a deep breath. “And besides, if he wants to talk to me, as much as you say he does, why won’t he just ask me. It’s always you who tells me about him, and what he wants from me. It’s so fucking annoying, you know?” Lily was looking at Hazel with her mouth opened. “I need to go. I don’t have time.” Hazel left her friend in the middle of the corridor. She knew people could hear what she was saying but she didn’t care at all. She was annoyed for days now. She loved Lily but she was so annoying sometimes, and she was tired of it. So she let it go.

Hazel was on her way to her dorm when she saw Remus looking at her from the distance. She waved at him and entered Ravenclaw common room. She didn’t exactly know why she waved at him, but it was the first thing that came up to her mind. She didn’t want to avoid him completely. Even before they “became a thing” they could wave and smile at each other. Just like normal student and teacher would do. But the truth is, they have not and will never be like a normal student and a teacher. And both of them knew it.

Remus was on his way to his office when he saw Hazel going her way to her house. He had this weird urge to look at her. He knew it’s wrong. But he just had to. He cared about her. And he knew, or more like he hoped, she cared about him, too. He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Hazel looking at him, too. She waved at him and entered the room. He could feel his face went all red, but she couldn’t see it. He knew it was wrong. But he couldn’t just stop.

***

Weeks passed.October ended. They started talking like nothing happened. They both were amazing actors. They had no other choice anyway. In class, practically nothing changed except the fact that Hazel stopped looking at him. She would avoid his gaze and after a few days he stopped looking at her as well. They would talk to each other, but they had to cut the “very friendly” relationship off. It was hurting them both.

But there were also days when they didn’t see each other, and as much as Hazel would like to say it’s not true, she would miss seeing him. She didn’t miss only Remus. She would miss her professor. The truth is that even before all this, she would look forward to attend to his class and just have a good time. Remus would leave Hogwarts for a few days every monthand no one knew why. He just didn’t show up to classes and it was a normal thing for everyone right now. But the worst part of it was when professor Snape would take his place and teach for a few days. And this is what happened this time. And Hazel had to assist him as well. Which was awful.

It was Monday, Hazel was late, and she hated being late. She knew Remus wouldn’t mind if she’s a little bit late, but little did she know it wasn’t Remus who was waiting for her in the classroom. “Good morning everyone, I’m sorry for being late!” she said looking around and smiling at her younger friends. She looked up and froze. She didn’t saw Lupin, but Snape.

“Harris,” Snape said and looked her dead in the eye. “I’m not Lupin, you can’t be late. Maybe he doesn’t care about being late but I will not tolerate this.”

“Well, I can clearly see you’re not him,” Hazel said quietly but some students heard her and giggled. “I’m sorry for being late, I had a thing to do. It won’t happen again. The class is yours, professor.” Hazel said with a fake smile and sat down in her very own desk that was placed next to the window. She could see the whole class but also her professor. Class went smoothly but boring. But what can you expect from Snape? She was trying so hard not to interrupt him, because there was a few things he said that didn’t make any sense at all, but she knew she had to be quiet. Unless he asks her to speak up. It wasn’t like with Lupin. In his class she was feeling comfortable and she could speak up whenever she wanted.

“Harris,” she heard her name when she was about to leave so she turned around to face Snape. “Sit down.” Hazel rolled her eyes at him, but lucky for her, he didn’t see. She sat down on top of her desk and looked at him. “I will not tolerate you making fun of me in my own class and-”

“It’s professor Lupin’s class,” she interrupted him and gave him a fake smile.

“Listen, I don’t care about Lupin or your relationship with him-”

“What relationship? Are you suggesting something, professor?” Hazel cut him off again and stood up to face him. “I will not tolerate anyone talking to me like that. I really don’t care that you are a professor. All I want is to pass this year and all these kids to pass, too. And half of things you said today did not make any bloody sense.”

“You-” he was cut off once again but this time not by Hazel.

But by McGonagall. “Severus, leave this poor girl alone, she has classes soon,” Minerva stepped in with a smile on her face, but it disappeared when she saw him. “Hazel, darling, you can leave. I need to talk to professor Snape.”Hazel smiled at her and whispered “thank you”, then turned to Snape and gave him a fake smile. Then she just left. She was wandering on the corridor, smiling at students and teachers. She got back to her dorm to grab some books and this is when she met Lily. She smiled at her and she smiled back.

Her relationship with Lily changed a bit after Hazel told her what she really thinks. Lily apologized for everything and Hazel did, too. Because the truth is that Hazel was overreacting a little bit. But a small argument like that couldn’t ruin a friendship. “Is this true, professor Lupin is gone again?” Lily asked on their way to Charms.

“Yes, but it’s normal by now,” Hazel answered and wanted to change the topic really quick but Lily started asked another question. “Yes, I had to have a class with Snape again. It was... annoying.”

“Oh, I bet.”

The rest of the day passed quickly, and so did next few days. Hazel had to assist Snape for the next few days which wasn’t something she liked, but she had no other choice. She was trying not to piss him off too much after their last interaction. Even McGonagall asked her to behave, and she just had to listen to her. Hazel had a soft spot for her professor and she couldn’t say no to her.

It was Sunday when Hazel has been woken up by her friend, aggressively shaking her shoulders. Hazel opened her eyes and saw Lily above her. Lily stopped shaking her and took a deep breath. Hazel looked at the clock on the wall and it showed 7AM. “Why are you waking me up at 8 in the morning on bloody Sunday?” Hazel was about to turn around and go back to sleep but Lily took her blanket away what made Hazel mad, “Lily, what the fuck?”

“Someone saw Lupin covered in blood not longer than 15 minutes ago,” Lily said and looked at Hazel who was now giving her full attention, “I thought you would like to know, since you two are close to each other.”

Hazel stood up without saying anything and put on one of her big sweaters. “Do you know where he went?” She looked at her friend who told her about Remus going back to his chambers. Hazel smiled at Lily, patted her cat on the head and left Ravenclaw common room, passed few of her friends and after a few minutes she found herself right in front of Remus’ classroom. She took a big breath and tried to open the door, but she didn’t succeed because they were locked. “Alohomora,” the door unlocked and Hazel entered the classroom, making sure to close them back. “Professor?” Hazel went further into class but she couldn’t see him anywhere. She was about to back off when she heard a noise coming out of his chamber. She didn’t want to go there because it was a private place, and even though she was there before, she just felt like it was too much. But she had to make sure he’s okay, “Professor, are you there?”

She was about to give up when she saw the door opened and Remus came out and looked at her, “Hazel, what are you doing here?” he asked still keeping the eye contact. “I think you should leave, I’m not in the best state-”

“That’s why I am not going to leave. You are clearly hurt,” Hazel said and even though her mind was telling her to stay where she was, she had to help him, so she went his way. “Let me help you, you’re covered in blood, for Merlin’s sake!”

Remus didn’t say anything, he was too tired to argue so he just let her help him. She told him to sit down on his sofa, and this is what he did, “you shouldn’t see me like this.”

“A lot of students saw you already, Lupin,” she used his last name, which meant she was pissed off. She hated the fact that he’s so stubborn. But she was, too. She took all the things she needed and started to clean new scars on his face and neck. “Please move your head a little bit to the left.”

“You’re not gonna ask me what happened?” Remus asked while moving his head.

Hazel wasn’t saying anything for a few minutes. She was too focused on cleaning his wounds. “Are you gonna tell me?” she asked, still cleaning one of the biggest scars he had on his neck. He said quietly “no” and she stopped for a second only to look him in the eyes. “That’s why I’m not asking.” Hazel got back to cleaning his face and the rest of his neck, “Listen,” she said and looked at him. “I don’t care where you were. I don’t care what you’ve done. I don’t care why you’re covered in blood. All I want is to help you, and then we can just go our own ways.” Remus didn’t say anything for a while. He was focused on her. She was so close to him, yet so far. He looked closely at her face. He had this urge to touch her. To grab her by her neck and kiss her, but he knew he couldn’t. He knew it’s wrong, “I’m done.” Remus smiled at her and was about to get up when she pushed him back on the sofa. “Where are you going? I’m done only with your face and neck. Your shirt is literally covered in blood and I’m not this stupid to believe it’s from your face,” she said and rolled her eyes at him. “Take your shirt off.”

“Come again?” Remus had to look at her closely and didn’t say anything for a moment. He thought it was only in his head and she didn’t actually say it, “are you serious?”

“Yes, Lupin. Take your fucking shirt off, I’m really not in the mood for arguing with you.” Hazel said and looked down on him, “go on, we don’t have the whole day.” Hazel was becoming more annoyed so she took the bottom of his shirt and was about to pull it up when he grabbed her hand and looked at her confused, “if you’re not gonna do it, I am.”

Remus looked at her once again and shook his head, “alright, alright.” Hazel sat down on a chair in front of the sofa and looked at him once again. She was really tired of arguing with him, but he finally did like she asked him to. She caught herself staring at him for too long, but he didn’t seem to notice. She saw Remus pulling his shirt above his head which left him topless in front of her. She was trying to play it cool, but she was shaking on the inside. It was the first time she saw him half naked and she really didn’t think it would ever happen. Hazel looked at his torso and saw two big cuts. One on his hip and right in the middle of his chest. She felt so bad for him, but she acted like she didn’t care at all.

“Are you okay?” Remus asked after he saw her staring at him for too long, she looked like she was going to faint, “Hazel, you don’t have to do this. I’m-”

“Shut up.” Hazel interrupted him and didn’t even look at him, “just let me take care of you, alright?” she said softly without looking at him. He only nodded and saw her placing herself between his legs. He wasn’t uncomfortable but he was worried she was, “don’t say anything.”

Hazel took the rubbing alcohol and started cleaning the biggest wound that was in the middle of his chest. He got chills all over his body when she touched his skin with alcohol. It was obvious it’s going to hurt and he was used to it by now, but the fact that it was Hazel who was cleaning him up made him feel a little bit different. It took her about 5 minutes to clean the wound and put a dressing on it. The injury on his hip wasn’t that bad, but it still hurt. “You really didn’t have to do this,” Remus said when Hazel finished putting a dressing around his waist, “but thank you, darling.”

“Please, don’t call me that,” Hazel looked at Remus and was trying not to focus on the butterflies she had in her stomach after he called her a pet name.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

And this is when things got awkward. None of them knew what to say. Hazel was sat on the sofa, next to Remus, looking everywhere but not at him. Remus on the other hand was staring directly at her. She was avoiding his eyes because she still had this feeling in her stomach. She finally looked up and met his gaze. She knew her face turned all red so she looked away again. She could feel Remus sitting a bit closer to her and then his hand touching her hand.

She looked at him and saw the look on his face, “I should go.” Hazel stood up but felt a grip on her hand and saw him holding her hand, “I don’t understand you, Remus.” She said and fake laughed, “first you push me away, then you agree to stay in a student and teacher relationship, and now this?” Remus could hear the hurt in her voice. “Please, you are so fucking confusing.”

Remus didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what. The truth is, he didn’t know what he wanted, too.

He knew he was missing her. Their talks. Their walks. Their hugs. “I see you tomorrow in class, professor.” Hazel said and was about to leave his office, when he turned around to face him once again, “please, be careful with those wounds. It would be the best if you went to the hospital wing,” and she left. Leaving him in his office, alone. Again. Hazel missed him, too. But she was seeing him every day, so she didn’t miss his presentence. She missed him, but she had him. Not in a way she wanted to, but she knew she couldn’t have this. And neither could he. It was so wrong, yet so right. The tension between them didn’t change. Hazel was avoiding him more, but in class nothing changed. They had to play it cool. Both of them.

***

December came faster than she thought. Everyone was so excited for Christmas and younger students were excited for, gifts, of course, but also for snow. Hogwarts was beautiful, but it was even more wonderful when the whole castle was covered in snow. The atmosphere was just amazing.

“Where are you going for Christmas?” Lily asked Hazel while both of them were entering Potions class.

“I’m visiting my friend in London. She told me her family were inviting people over so she invited me too because we haven’t seen in a while,” Hazel answered and smiled. It made her so happy, being able to see Donna after all these months of being apart. She missed the rest of her friends, too and she was hoping to see them, too. But she was happy she could see anyone. “I hope this week will pass quickly. I really want to leave Hogwarts for a while.”

“It’ll be alright. It’s Wednesday already, this week will end sooner than you think and you’ll be on the train on Sunday evening,” Lily said while sitting down in her desk.

Unfortunately, Wednesday was the longest day for Hazel. She had a lot of classes and she had to study for a quick Potions test she had on Friday. She thought that doing tests on the last day of school before Christmas break was stupid, but she couldn’t do anything. She spent the whole Thursday afternoon and evening on studying, because she didn’t want to fail. She knew she couldn’t. Lucky for her, this test wasn’t too difficult and even though she was studying for hours day before, she was sure that she could pass it even without studying.

Hazel woke up on Sunday morning all happy. It was December 20th, the day she was leaving. She hasn’t been this happy in a long, long time. She looked up at the clock and saw it was 8 in the morning, which meant that half of the castle is still asleep. She looked at her cat, who was still asleep on her pillow and smiled. She got dressed into something comfortable and left her dorm. Hazel was wandering through the corridors, smiling. She was happy. She loved Hogwarts, but she needed this break.

She passed by a few students who also were awake and gave them a smile. Hazel loved the Christmas atmosphere; it was always her favorite season. She loved snow, she loved everything winter related. She also loved autumn, but when she saw snow... it reminded her of her childhood. It reminded her of her parents. Hazel sat down on a bench and looked around. There was no one she could see so she just looked down and took a deep breath. She missed them. She missed them so much. She was happy she could leave and spend time with someone close to her, because the truth is that she was going crazy without her parents by her side.

It was her second Christmas without her parents and it hurt so bad. Hazel started sobbing quietly, she had to let it out. She could feel this awful feeling in her chest that last time happened on the anniversary of their death in October.She spent this day in her dorm. She was distracted with books; her cat and Lily was also keeping her company. Hazel had a mini panic attack back then, but Lily helped her go through this.

“It’s okay, Haze.” Lily said as she hugged her. “Do you want me to bring you some chocolate?”

“No.” She answered and buried her face in her friend’s chest. She was hungry, but she didn’t want to eat. Especially not chocolate. “I just want to sleep.”

“You can take a nap and I’ll be here when you wake up, and then I’ll bring you some food. What do you think about that?” Lily said and smiled at her. Hazel knew she had to eat something, so she just nodded and buried her face into her pillow. Trying to fall asleep and not think about anything.

It reminded her of her first interaction with Remus, he also helped her. This day in the forest. He was the first one she opened up to. She missed him, too. And now she was alone. She could feel she was starting to have troubles with breathing, which wasn’t good. Especially not when she was alone, she didn’t know what to do. She knew she’s about to have a panic attack. She needed someone close.

Without thinking first, Hazel stood up and went straight to this one classroom. This one classroom she didn’t want to go to for the last weeks, months. She didn’t knock, she didn’t have time. Lucky for her the door was unlocked to she entered the class and shut the door behind her. She looked around but she didn’t see much. She could feel her heart started beating faster and her breathing was heavier. After a few seconds she heard a noise. It was Remus, she knew it. She went her way straight into his office and saw him making tea. He turned around and saw her. Remus was confused at first but as soon as he saw her state, he put the tea down and moved closer to her.

“Hazel, are you alright?” Remus asked softly, looking at her, holding her still by her shoulders. She couldn’t say a word, she only shook her head and started breathing heavily,“Is this a panic attack?” Hazel nodded and was about to say something but he stopped her. “Don’t say anything, sweetheart. Sit down on the couch, I’ll give you water.”He sat her down on his sofa and brought her a glass of water, “remember about breathing.” Remus said and kneeled before her. None of them cared about personal space right now, both of them knew she needed him and she wasn’t even trying to argue with that. “Good, breathe.” Remus smiled at her, while she was breathing slowly, holding his hand. She didn’t even realize when she grabbed it, but she did, and she didn’t care about it right now. “Yes, Hazel. Good job. Take a sip of water and breathe,” after a few minutes, her breathing got back to normal, she drank the whole glass of water and looked down at Remus who was still kneeling before her, holding her hand. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you,” she said and smiled weakly. “I’m sorry if I bothered you, I didn’t know where else to go,” Hazel started to apologize but he stopped her by squeezing her hand.

“Don’t apologize. It’s alright. You needed a friend; a comfort and you did the right thing. No matter in what conditions we are, I will always be here to help you.” Hazel smiled at him and squeezed his hand back. They were sat like this for a few more minutes but after a moment she started to feel uncomfortable. Remus could sense it so he pulled away to give her space. He didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable. They were sat in silence for more few minutes when Hazel spoke up.

“I’m leaving for Christmas.”

“That’s fantastic, Hazel!” Remus said and smiled at her, “where are you going, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m visiting Donna. She invited me. It’ll be good to see her after all these months,” Hazel said without looking at him, she was looking at her hands who was still a bit cold “are you going somewhere?”

“No, I’m staying here. I have nowhere to go anyway,” Remus answered calmly and smiled at her. She looked up at him and smiled back. “When is the train leaving?”

“At 5PM.” Hazel answered and looked at the clock on his wall. It was only half past nine, “I’ll be leaving soon. I need to pack my bags and spend some time with Lily before I go.”

Hazel stood up, but it was a mistake because she almost fell. She stood up way too fast. Remus reacted fast and was next to her in a second, holding her still. She smiled at him and sat back down, “looks like I need to stay a little bit longer.” She looked up at Remus who was now standing in front of her.

“Do you want some tea?” Remus asked and she nodded. He didn’t have to ask what tea she wants, because he knew what she likes, “do you want to talk about what caused your panic attack?” He asked after a moment, and gave her tea.

“No, it’s alright,” Hazel cut the conversation off very quickly. She didn’t want to start this conversation. They both drank their teas in silence, an awkward silence. Remus wanted to talk to her but she didn’t seem ready to do so he preferred to stay silent and let her do it when she felt ready. But that didn’t happen that day.

Hazel looked at the clock on Remus’ wall and realized she had to go now if she didn’t want to be late to catch the train. “Remus,” she called him by his name. Remus, that was reading a book, lifted his head to look at her,“I have to go now.”

“Actually,” he stopped her and stood up. She looked at him, he was looking for something in his desk. He made a little happy noise when he finally found the thing he was looking for. Remus stood up again and smiled at Hazel, “Merry Christmas.”

Hazel looked at him and then at the little gift he was holding in his hand. She took it from him and gave him a little smile. He was looking at her for the whole time, smiling. Hazel opened the paper and saw a book she knew very well.

“Remus,” she started and felt like her eyes were about to become wet. “How did you…You didn’t have to…Thank you!” Hazel threw her hands around his neck and hugged him tightly. He brought her closer to him and rubber her back a little bit. They were hugging for a couple of seconds and she was the first one to pull away. She looked at him and cleared her throat.

“I remember you said this was the book your mum used to read you when you were little, and you don’t have it anymore so I looked in every Muggle book shop and I found it.”

Hazel was looking at him and wanted to throw herself at him again, but it was inappropriate. “Thank you,” she said again and gave him a smile. “You have no idea how much it means to me.”

“You’re welcome.”

They were standing awkwardly, looking at each other.

“I need to go now for real,” she said and looked at the clock. She took a step closer to him and stood on her tip toes and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, Remus.” Hazel left his office before he could say anything, leaving him with his thoughts again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter is a bit... spicy. hope you enjoy it!

She spent the whole ride to London reading and looking out the window. It was such a beautiful view and she was kind of sad that she didn’t have anybody with her right now to share it. She kept thinking about everything that had happened the last months. She kissed her teacher, and he kissed her back. What could have happened for Remus to back up this way? She couldn’t understand it and it hurt. And even though it was her who asked Remus to keep it as a teacher and student relationship, the truth is that she missed her… friend? He was the closer thing to a friend she had since the start of the year. Of course there was Lily and other friends, too, but they weren’t as close as she was to Remus. She felt like she could trust him and tell him anything even though he was a teacher, a figure of authority. Of course it was not the same relationship she had with Flitwick or McGonagall; they were only her teachers but Remus was her friend. And she missed that.

When she arrived to King Cross station Donna was already waiting for her in platform 9 and ¾. Hazel also noticed that Freya was standing next to her. She didn’t know she’s going to be here, too. Her face light up so much when she saw them with their arms opened waiting for her hug. They hugged so hard they fell to the floor in laughs and happy tears.

“I missed you both so much!” Hazel finally said after a few minutes of laughter and tears.

The people at the station looked at them with funny faces and laughed at how cute young friendships were. “We’ve missed you too!” Donna said cupping her cheek. They started to walk towards the cab linked by their arms with a smile on their faces. and ruined make-ups because of the tears.

“Listen, I’ve got so much to tell you,” Hazel teased and they responded with tickles.

“Well, tell me then! What are you waiting for?” Donna said.

“You two better be sitting for this,” Hazel answered.

Donna and Freya looked at her with a curious face as to why this might be. They got in the cab heading Donna’s home where Hazel would be spending Christmas this year. All the way home they spent it talking about Donna’s training as an auror, how hard it was sometimes, but it was easier since Freya was there with her. They relied on each other most of the time. Donna also asked her about new gossip in school and she told her about the latest prank the Weasley twins had done, how Cedric and Cho were seen flirting with each other and a few gossips more.

Once they got home Donna helped Hazel bring her suitcase upstairs where her room was, they had to share the same bed since it was Donna’s family house and there wasn’t much space because a few other friends and family were spending Christmas with them too. Freya’s parents were coming on Christmas they as well, so the atmosphere was going to be amazing. Freya were staying overnight tonight. “We have a whole two weeks for ourselves, no homework, no studying,” Hazel commented.

As she was talking year 7 again and she was also assisting professor Lupin they decided to let her rest on the Christmas break so she would be at her best on January.

Freya took her hand and dragged her to the edge of the bed were both sat and looked at her eyes. “You. Start talking,” she said. Hazel chuckled and looked downwards.

“Something happened,” Hazel said and looked at them, who was now looking at her with more curiosity on her face than before, “between me and… someone,” she added.

“Hazel, I swear to fucking God if you don’t start telling everything right now, I’m gonna kick you out of my house,” Donna spitted, starting to get nervous. She knew Hazel and her crazy ideas but she was even more scared, because she was on her own at school, so she had no one to keep her away from making dumb decisions.

“Okay, okay, don’t get mad,” the redhead girl said between giggles, “but you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone and most importantly, you won’t judge me,” she added.

“Pinky promise,” Donna and Freya said as they lifted their pinky fingers aimed at Hazel.

The linked they fingers and she continued. “I kind of kissed professor Lupin,” Hazel said with an unsure expression on her face.

“You did what?!” Donna screamed. Freya was trying to calm her down, but it was unsuccessful. “Shut the fuck up!” 

“I told you not to judge me and you pinky promised!” Hazel hit her on her shoulder and Donna lifted her hands up. "Moving on. Soon enough things went bad, and I honestly don’t know why. We had been flirting for a few months and then we kissed, twice.” Hazel emphasized, “but suddenly he decided he didn’t want this.” The look on her face was very sad and her friends saw this because as soon as she stopped talking, they both brought Hazel to their arms and hugged her.

“I’m so sorry, darling,” Donna whispered as she put a hand on her nape. “Did you two talk about it?” she asked.

Hazel parted from the hug and looked at her, they could see tears starting to fall from the corner of her eyes. “No,” she answered. “I had a few rough weeks after that and I couldn’t sleep much so I ended up in the hospital wing because of that. He visited me and tried to talk to me but I didn’t have the strength,” she explained. Hazel got up from the bed and started walking around the room, trying to analyze what had happened over the course of the last months. “Something happened later, you know?” she started talking again. “When he came to visit me in the hospital wing, he seemed sorry for pushing me away, as if he wanted to be with me but he couldn’t. He wanted to talk about it there but I told him we could talk about it next Sunday, when I was feeling a bit better. And so I went to his chambers. But then something happened there, too.” Hazel looked at them as if asking them if they were following the story until now. They both nodded, it was almost as if they could read each other’s mind. “I entered his classroom and he was covered in blood and scratches,” she said. “I didn’t ask why though, because I knew he wouldn’t tell me”.

“But was he okay?” Donna interrupted her.

“Yes, don’t worry. I went and grabbed a first aid kit, and treated his scars. That’s when it happened. He looked at me with such love and kindness. As if he was restraining himself from kissing me in that exact moment. I honestly don’t know what this man wants from me and starting to drive me crazy. It’s so confusing,” Hazel said almost mad. “I left in that moment, because I didn’t know how to handle the situation,” she added and sat again on the bed and grabbed Donna’s hand almost looking for validation. “But now I regret it. I think,” she looked at her friend looking for advice. “I miss him so much. More than I’ve ever missed anyone. He has helped me so much,” she finally confessed.

“I think he felt troubled between being with you and being _your professor,_ ” Donna said emphasizing this last part.

“But he obviously wants you. And you want him, don’t you?” Freya added.

“Yeah, I think so. But he also hurt me, pushing me away after letting me kiss him. Twice. We kissed twice! And then he just… I don’t know. The way he looks at me... I can’t explain,” Hazel started ranting. “He’s confused and he’s confusing me, too.”

“I understand, honey. But I think it’s best if you talk about this with him. It’s him who needs to hear how you feel, and you should also listen to how he feels about you,” Donna said.

“You’re right, I’ll talk to him when I get back,” Hazel smiled. “Let’s enjoy our well-deserved Christmas break now.”

And so they did. On Christmas morning they gave each other a few presents, nothing too posh or fancy. Just small details that made each other happy. Hazel couldn’t wait for the break to be over and see Remus again. Sure, she enjoyed her friends’ company and had missed them very much over the year, but it was Remus she was missing right now.

***

Christmas break ended faster than she thought. She had so much fun with Donna’s family. She hasn’t seen them in ages, and the same thing with Freya’s parents. They were catching up a lot of things, avoiding the topic of her parents. As parents do, they asked her about boys, and she had to pretend like there’s nothing going on.

Before she could realize it was January 2nd and she was on her way back to Hogwarts. She missed it. And she missed him. This break helped her realize that she in fact really missed him. Missed seeing him. Hearing him. Talking to him. She wanted to be in Hogwarts already. She was so impatient. Two hours lasted like ten. Eventually, the train arrived. Students and teachers started leaving the train and grabbing their stuff. Hazel made sure to take all her things with her, and not to forget Claire.

She didn’t think she could be so happy to see these old corridors again. She quickly went to her dorm and left all her stuff there. Hazel patted her cat once again and left her dorm, going her way to Remus’ classroom. She found herself standing before the door and without knocking, entered the classroom, closing the door behind her. She turned around and saw Remus on top of the stairs, looking at her. She smiled at him and he smiled at her.

“I didn’t know you were planning on visiting me so fast,” Remus said and leaned forward the guard rail and smiled once again. “Didn’t the train arrive about 15 minutes ago?”

“It did,” she said and went her way closer to him. She found herself going up the stairs and finally facing him. “We need to talk, Remus.” Remus nodded and let her go into her office first, closing the door after both of them entered the place. Hazel took a deep breath and sat down on the sofa.

Remus without even asking her first, made two cups of tea. She smiled at him. He knew her so well.

“So... do you want me to start or do you want to be first?” he finally asked after a few minutes of silence. The only sound they could hear was water boiling. “There you go, darling” he said and gave her tea after it was done.

 _Darling_.

She felt this weird feeling in her stomach she couldn’t control anymore. She hadn’t felt it in a while, _“that’s because you told him not to call you that, and you did not see him for weeks you stupid idiot,”_ she told to herself. She exactly remembered the first time she was sat on this couch. It was last year, she was looking for her cat and ran into professor Lupin, he let her in because her cat was here and this is how their “friendship” started.

“I’m not the one that has something to say, Remus. I told you everything that day. The only thing I need to know is if you regret what happened. If you regret that we kissed… twice,” Hazel said looking at his eyes deeply.

“No. Of course not,” he said and she raised her eyebrows. “I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret that I kissed you. I don’t regret getting closer to you. I don’t regret hugging you. I don’t regret anything,” Hazel was maintaining eye contact the entire time so she knew… she knew he wasn’t lying. Everything was true. She could see it in his eyes. “But… there’s only one thing I regret,” he added.

She felt the weight of the universe in her shoulders again. What could it be? “What is it?” she asked nervous.

“I regret that I didn’t stop you that day and let you walk away from my class and then I lost you for months,” they didn’t notice that they were going closer and closer to each other with each word that were just said. They found themselves inches away, just like the last time. “I’m sorry, I was a dick. I’m sorry, I didn’t stop you. I’m sorry, I was a coward. I’m sorry, I-” Hazel entire face light up as she heard those words. That’s the only thing she needed to hear from the beginning.

She leaned on him and grabbed him by the collar of his jacket to pull him closer for a kiss. As she pressed her lips on his she could feel his shoulders relax and his arms coming around her waist. She moved her hands to the back of his neck and started playing with the back of his hair. He smiled through the kiss and so did she and after a few seconds the pulled away their faces but not their bodies. They were still sat on the couch so he was basically on top of her, but she didn’t mind.

“You sure never stop talking,” Hazel joked. He nodded and grabbed her hand bringing it close to his lips and placing a soft kiss on it.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he said in a soft voice. “I was fine as long as I could see you in Hogwarts for all this time, but these last two weeks were awful.”

Hazel felt that her cheeks went red but she wasn’t ashamed of that. “I missed you, too. The last two weeks were not the best for me, too. I missed seeing you every day. I missed talking to you,” she just smiled again and put her hand on his cheek. He leaned his cheek to her hand and took a deep breath. He was so touch starved, and so was she. She was looking at him with love in her eyes while he had his eyes closed but he could feel she was staring.

“There’s actually one more thing I need to tell you. Well, two actually. Before we are one hundred percent okay. I understand if you leave me after I tell you this, but I just need you to know,” he said and looked deep into her eyes, moving a bit away. They were once again sat on the couch, but the only thing that changed was that they are holding hands. Hazel could feel he was nervous, because he kept massaging her knuckles. “You know… I want to be honest with you. I trust you, and I hope you trust me, too.”

“Of course, Remus. I trust you, I told you that a while ago,” she said and grabbed his face just to kiss his forehead and then pulled away and looked at him. Now he was the one who’s blushing. She missed him so much.

Remus stood up and started rubbing his neck, he was nervous and he couldn’t sit still. Hazel stood up as well and took his hands into her. She smiled at him. He took a deep breath and looking at her eyes he said, “I’m sure you know who Sirius Black is.” He said and looked at her. She nodded, still looking at him. “I need you to listen to me.” He said and sat back down next to her, grabbed her hands and looked her deep into eyes. “He’s innocent. I know how crazy it sounds, but he’s innocent and you need to trust me, okay?”

“I don’t understand-” she started but he silenced her with a quick kiss.

“Sirius and I... we used to be best friends when we were in Hogwarts.” She looked at him and blinked a few times. So it’s true. “You remember when I told you about my friends that were murdered?” She nodded. “Lily and James were murdered, first betrayed, for all these years we thought it was Sirius who gave them to Voldemort.” He said and grabbed her hands in his. “But It wasn’t him. It was Peter.”

“But he’s-“

“That’s what I thought, too.” Remus said and smiled. “He’s not dead. Peter is alive, and he’s in the castle right now.”

“Okay.” Hazel said and looked at him. “Okay, I believe you.” Hazel said and her words made Remus happy. He grabbed her face in between his and kissed her firmly. She smiled through the kiss and pulled away after a moment. “Now, what’s the second thing you wanted to tell me?”

Remus got nervous, and she could feel it. “Sirius, James and Peter were Animagus’. They, erm, they became ones to… to be safe around me.”

“What do you mean, safe around you?” Hazel asked and looked at him. He stood up from the couch and started walking around the room.

“Hazel, darling,” Remus started and knelled before her. “I’m a monster.”

Remus looked at her waiting for a reaction but her only reaction was raised eyebrows.

“What do you mean, a monster?” she asked and Remus was trying to find the right words to say it. He knew she is going to leave him once he tells her but he was nervous. “Remus, you’re not a monster, we both want this okay? You’re not forcing me into anything, honey-” that was the first time she called him a pet name, and by the butterflies in Remus’ stomach he liked it. She took his hands and brought them closer to her chest.

“No, no, darling, I know that,” he stopped her and looked at his hands, and then back at her “I’m-” he took a deep breath and looked her deeply into eyes. He trusted her, “I’m a werewolf, Hazel. A werewolf, called Fenrir Greyback, bit me when I was a barely five years old and even though my parents worked really hard to help me, there was no cure at the time,” he explained almost shaking. “That’s why we can’t be together. That’s why I pushed you away. Who would want to be with a werewolf anyways?" Remus' hands were shaking as he was speaking. “Say something, please. You’re making me nervous,” he was waiting for her to react but all she did was smile, grab his face and kiss him again.

Once their lips parted, she looked at him in the eyes, “what do you want me to say?” she smiled.

“I don’t know?” Remus took a deep breath and shook his head, “why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Because I have nothing to say,” she said and smiled again, “you’re a werewolf, okay and? What do you want me to do? Congratulate you?” she joked and giggled.

He looked at her surprised and took her hand. “You are not scared of me?”

“Why would I be scared?” Hazel laughed and squeezed his hand, “I’m not scared of you, Remus. I’ve known you for a long time and there wasn’t ever a moment where I felt unsafe near you. Quite the opposite. It’s your arms where I feel the safest. Of course, I wouldn’t be near you in a full moon, but then again that’s not you. Just an illness that you happen to suffer. You didn’t ask for this.” She smiled at him and brought both of his hands to her lips just to give him a gentle kiss on each hand. He stood up and she joined him.

“Hazel, I can’t give you children, I can’t give you safe life. I can’t marry you. You will be unhappy with me. No one wants to marry a werewolf, no one wants to have a father as a werewolf. I’m 15 years older than you. You are such a beautiful, young woman. You’re so…pure. My hair is getting grey all over my head. I look like…”

“Remus, you are beautiful.” She cut him off and touched his cheek. “I trust you. I don’t care about marriage, I don’t care what people will think, I don’t care about children. Even if we wanted to have one, we can always adopt one. I care about you, and I know you wouldn’t hurt me intentionally. Besides, my feelings for you are way too strong, for me now to leave you just because you have hair all over your body once a month. I missed you so much, don’t you think I will leave you.”

“You really have feelings for me?” he asked and gave her surprised look.

“No, I’m just taking a piss.” Hazel rolled her eyes. “Yes, I do have feelings for you, Remus Lupin, and they are very strong. Even your dog side won’t stop it.”

“Well, technically it’s not a dog but a werew-” he was interrupted once again because Hazel was kissing him again only this time her hands were on his chest.

This time this kiss was different. It was full of emotions. He bit her bottom lip, what only made her groan and she could feel him smiling. She could feel his hands all over her body which only made her want more. She felt his wet lips on her neck, and his hands on the bottom of her back. She moved her hands from his chest to the back of his neck, grabbing some strands of hair as he bit her neck once again and she moaned. After he pulled away to take a few breaths she started to give kisses all over his neck just to hear him gasp. She smiled. He knew what she was doing but he didn’t stop her. He didn’t care at all at this point. She knew he was hungry for more, as she was. He grabbed her hand and they stood in front of the door that leaded into his chambers. Remus quickly said the password and after a few seconds both of them entered the room. Hazel saw a desk, another fireplace, a closet, more books, and bed.

“So, you are completely sure?” he asked as he looked at her and smiled. She didn’t say anything but kissed him again. “Because as I said earlier, I don’t regret anything,” he tried to say between kisses but the girl missed him so much and was so touch starved she didn’t let him finish. He looked at her once again but with different kind of smile on his face. He started to give kissed all over her neck and behind her ear, as he heard her moan, he knew it was her sweet spot. “May I?” Remus asked and waited for her to respond. After she nodded, Remus pulled the sweater she was wearing over her head leaving her like that only with her bra on.

She looked at him and smiled, she saw this smirk on his face and it annoyed her. She decided to play the innocent student. “It’s only fair if you don’t have a top on either, professor,” she said as she pouted and started drawing circles on his chest with her finger.

He knew what she was doing and it turned him on so he decided to play along. “You’re gonna have a top in a few minutes, don’t worry,” he said and then bit his bottom lip and kissed her again, but this time he was aggressive, one could even say it was his werewolf side who was acting up. She grabbed the end of his shirt and started to pull it over his head, leaving him topless.

It was the second time she saw him without a top. She saw all the scars he had over his chest and back, and started tracing every one of them with her finger, “don’t cover yourself up. You’re beautiful, Remus.” For the first time he believed that, he truly felt beautiful. After so long feeling like a monster, he felt human again. She couldn’t believe how fit he is. She knew he had a good form but she didn’t expect this. His muscles were showing which was surprising because you would never notice that because of the baggy clothes he was always wearing. “You need to wear this top way more often,” she gasped into his lips as she felt his teeth biting her bottom lip.

“I’m not wearing anything right now,” he said between kisses and then heard her giggle.

“That’s exactly what I had in mind.”

She felt his hands on her back, near her bra and this is where she felt shy, and he could feel it. He looked at her and smiled at her again. “We don’t have to do anything, darling. This is not what I had in mind when we started talking. I’m not complaining but if you want to stop right here, we can just finish tea and cuddle next to the fire place. Don’t feel like you owe me anything, because you don’t.”

Hazel looked at him and this is the moment when she knew, this feeling is something more than just a crush. It was something stronger than anything else she ever felt towards anyone. “I want to do it,” he put his lips once again on hers and her bra started falling down her body but she didn’t care now. After what he said she trusted him even more. “I trust you.”

He stopped kissing her neck and looked at her, smiling, “I trust you, too.” They were standing next to his bed, both topless. He kissed her neck again so she moved her head to the side so he could have more space. She moaned after she felt his hand on her breasts. But then he stopped and winked at her, and then pushed her kindly backwards until she was lying in the bed. She looked up at him and smiled when she saw him taking the rest of his clothes off. He jumped on top of her and kissed her. She could feel his hands on her stomach, playing with the edge of her leggings. He kissed her all the way down until he met one of her breasts and placed kisses all over her chest. She put her hands into his hair and pulled it. Remus groaned and looked up at her just to see her smiling on him. He went down, and down, and down until he grabbed her leggings and then looked at her once again. “May I?” he asked and she nodded, “I want you to say it. I want to make sure.”

“Please take this off me and fuck me, Remus,” left her lips and she was as surprised as he, but he didn’t complain. He just went back to her lips once again and kissed her, and then came back to taking her leggings off. He was making eye contact for the whole time, he wanted to be sure. “Hurry up, we don’t have the whole day. I want to finish my tea, too.” She said and winked at him. He just laughed and then took her pants off completely. “Remus, I swear to Merlin-”Hazel said while she felt his lips on her skin, and kisses all over her inner thighs. All she saw was his head between her legs. She felt like her legs were shaking but she couldn’t do anything with it.“Remus, if you…fuck,” suddenly she felt cold, she looked at him and saw him looking at her, “why did you stop?”

“What is this language, miss Harris? This kind of language will not be tolerated in my class,” Hazel looked at him and felt like she was getting more wet with every word that left his mouth. He saw her reaction and only smirked at her.

“Yes, sir,” she said trembling and saw him smile. He suddenly appeared on top of her again and kissed her cheek. “You are so beautiful, did you know that?” she said.

“If that’s your way to get out of detention then I’m gonna tell you, that this is working,” he said and kissed her on the lips. “Are you sure?”

“If I wasn’t sure, do you think I’d still be here?” Hazel looked up at him and touched his cheek, “I trust you.”

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Remus said and placed himself in a good, comfortable position between her legs. “If something hurts, just tell me and I’ll stop,” she nodded but he grabbed her cheeks in between his hand and looked her deep in the eyes.

“Use your words. I want to hear it."

“I trust you, Remus. If anything makes me uncomfortable or hurts me, I’ll tell you and you’ll stop.”

“That’s right, darling,” he smiled at her and kisses her nose. “Do you want me to open you up a little bit?” Remus asked and looked at her, she smiled at him but shook her head, “are you sure?”

“Please, just come here,” Hazel grabbed him by his neck and brought him into the kiss. She bit his bottom lip as she felt him sliding inside of her. She knew he’s big. But she didn’t know he’s that big. She kind of regretted that she said no when he asked about opening her up, because she was quite tight around him. But after a few seconds she felt better. He felt her fingers and nails on his shoulders. He knew it hurts at the beginning so he didn’t move for a few moments, because he knew she needs to get used to the feeling. “You can move now,” Hazel said and closed her eyes. He seemed unsure in finding the right spot but once he found it, he found himself kissing her just to distract them both. She felt him thrusting into her as soon as he found the right spot. She felt the pain but it was replaced with pleasure right after. He continued thrusting in her and a few moments later the pain was replaced with pleasure for both of them. “Remus, more.” She started moaning into his lips which he found extremely hot. They looked each other in the eyes, breathing hard but enjoying everything.

“You look so beautiful,” Remus said right into her mouth, which she only responded with gasps. Hazel tried to place her legs in different places and as soon as she found the right angle, it hit her. She urged him to go faster, Remus was thrusting hard onto her making her beg and cry for him. She kept repeating “more” a few times. Hazel heard him talking dirty things to her ear which just made her more wet. She knew he’s close and so was she. She was so close; she grabbed the sheets to stop her from screaming of pleasure.

“Please,” she moaned between breaths. He started thrusting even harder and quicker which was only driving them both crazy. “You feel so good.” Hazel bit his neck and shoulder as she felt both their orgasms inside her, “I’m sorry,” she laughed. “I didn’t mean to bite you,” she smiled and looked up at him.

“I thought I was the werewolf, not you.” Remus joked and both of them laughed. He placed a hand on her cheek, and she only leaned into his touch.“Did I hurt you?” he asked before moving himself out of her. She shook her head, “you were amazing,” he replied.

“So were you,” she said and grabbed his cheek. They were both laying in bed smiling at each other, stealing each other’s kisses and just being happy. They both felt loved and safe around each other. This is the moment when they knew, they feel love towards each other. But they didn’t want to admit it yet, because they were scared.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw NSFW

They spent almost the entire time in bed where the fell asleep. It was the sunset already when Hazel woke up and looked at Remus sleeping peacefully besides her. She could see snow all over the windows which only made the atmosphere better. It wasn’t a crush anymore. It was something stronger. She didn’t know what this is. Was it love? It’s not the time you fall in love. It’s a moment. The first time she felt really love was exactly one year ago. During a Christmas break

Remus invited Hazel for a hot chocolate one evening. She agreed, because she loved spending time with him and she had nothing better to do. They were talking about anything and they realized they had a lot in common. They both loved books, rain, music and they both loved wearing big jumpers. It was a cold evening and Hazel forgot to take her jumper with her. Remus noticed she’s shaking so her gave her his own jumper. The dark blue on with buttons. She never gave it back to him, but he never mentioned it. She still has it. She never told it to anyone, but she’s sleeping in it whenever she feels lonely. Hazel was sleeping in this jumper for the whole time they were apart.

It was the moment she knew she has feelings for him.

She smiled at the memory of them sharing their first sweet moment together. She began tracing the scars on his chest again, thinking how much she liked them and she started to kiss them one by one. She loved Remus in every way and form, including his scars. She wanted to make sure Remus knew that. That she wouldn’t run away at the first sight of danger. She was with him for the long ride.

Remus woke up at the touch of her sweet lips against his skin and thought that he wouldn’t mind waking up like this every day for the rest of his life. She looked at him and whispered, “good morning” to him with a smile as to which he replied, “I’m pretty sure it’s not morning anymore, love.” And they both laughed.

Love, he never called her that yet. But she loved it. She felt important, she felt loved. This is a different kind of love. A kind of love she never felt before. She was in a few relationships before but this is something different. This is true, this is important. Because she actually loves the person she’s with. She loves Remus.

“Was I really that good?” Hazel asked after a few minutes of silence and looked at him. He was looking directly at her, smiling.

“You were fantastic, darling,” Remus said and lifted himself up to give her a kiss. “Why are you asking?” he looked down at her and grabbed her cheek, rubbing it with his thumb slowly. Hazel looked away, didn’t want to keep the eye contact with him. Remus was looking at her, trying to understand why she’s so insecure about it. After a few seconds it hit him. She never mentioned her being with a boy, or anyone, “are you-“

“Was,” Hazel said finally looking into his eyes. He was looking directly at her, without blinking. “What? Don’t look at me like that.”

“Did you just give me your virginity?” Remus asked finally, he couldn’t believe in what he just said,“Hazel, you are joking right now.”

“Yes, I did give it to you.” Hazel smiled and touched his cheek. “I trust you; I care about you. I wanted you to be the one to take it from me.”

Remus couldn’t say a thing, he was shocked. He was happy she trusted him enough to give one of the most important things in woman’s life. But he was scared, because what if she didn’t enjoy it as much as she told him. But he was happy. “I promise you, the next time it’ll be better.”

“There will be a next time?” Hazel asked looking at him.

Remus giggled and looked at her, then leaned down to kiss her lips again. Remus liked the way Hazel’s eyes closed when she laughed. It was when the golden hour was shining brightest in her eyes that he knew he was madly in love with her. “You know, I now get why they called you Hazel,” he commented.

She opened her eyes with curiosity, “why is that?” she asked.

He looked at her eyes, that resembled a pool of honey, bright as the sun, “you truly have hazel eyes, sweet as honey and warm as the sun,” she lifted her head up from his chest to his head and kissed him softly, placing some kisses in his cheeks and neck. “You know, I wish we could stay like this for as long as forever but we should get going before anyone misses us.”

“But I don’t want to. I want to stay in bed all day with my-” she looked at him and smiled, “boyfriend.”

He giggled softly and pet her head playing with her hair along the way, “your boyfriend, huh? I like how it sounds.” Remus loved her laugh, her voice. He never thought he would love someone the way he loved her. The truth is, he had never been in a serious relationship before that. Of course, he had a few “girlfriends” while being in Hogwarts and after he graduated but he never met anyone like her. After that, the only thing he had was random one-night stands. But there wasn’t many of them, he didn’t like to treat women like shit. He always respected women. Remus looked at Hazel once again and smiled, touching her face. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life, Hazel.”

Hazel looked at him and felt tears in her eyes. She bit her bottom lip and leaned towards him to give him a kiss. This kiss was sweet like honey. She felt his hand on her still naked body and she smiled. She felt his fingers all over her back and stomach and it was driving her crazy. “Stop doing that or it won’t end well,” she said and closed her eyes, feeling wetness down there. But he didn’t stop. He only smirked and continued touching her stomach, and lower and lower. “Remus, we don’t have time and you know that” she warned him. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

“Who said I can’t finish it?” Remus asked smirking at her.

“Me, you’ve had enough of all these. Save something for the next time,” she said and winked at him.

Then stood up before he could catch her. She put her tongue at him and he shook his head.

“Nice tongue you have, can I taste?”

Hazel looked at him with her mouth wide opened and started laughing. He was laughing, too. “I hate you,” she said after a few minutes of laugher, “I hate you so much.”

“Oh darling, we both know it’s not true,” Remus said after standing up to face her.

Hazel looked at him and smiled, placing a hand on his cheek, said, “okay, right. The truth is that I think I like you a little bit too much.”

Remus grabbed her hand from his cheek and placed a soft kiss on each of her fingers. She giggled and he smiled at her “and I think I like you a bit too much, too.”

They wanted to go back to bed, but they knew they couldn’t so after a few minutes of cuddling on the edge of the bed they went to take a quick shower and then got dressed. A couple had to come up with an excuse why they were working together on Sunday when it’s supposed to be a free day even for teachers. But it wasn’t difficult to make up because all they had to do was saying, that they were preparing materials for tomorrow’s lesson they have together with students from year one.

“Are we gonna leave a class together or do you want me to leave first?” Hazel asked while they were going downstairs.

“You can go, I’ll stay here to finish marking the last exams. And I’ll join you in the Great Hall later for a dinner,” Remus pulled her into his arms, her head tucked beneath his chin. “I’m so happy to have you in my life, darling. I’m so lucky.”

“I am the lucky one,” she said and he felt her hands tuck into his jumper as she pressed close. He also felt this feeling inside of him. Inside of his stomach. “Are you okay?” she asked after a few minutes of standing like this in each other’s arms.

“I am more than okay.”

Remus told her to be safe and if someone asks her where she was or why she was this long in his office to tell them that they were working on a new material for tomorrow. Hazel left his classroom so happy but her smile disappeared after she saw Professor Snape in front of her. “Harris,” Snape said and looked at her with a disgusted look on his face.

“Professor Snape.”

“What were you doing in Lupin’s office with him? Alone.”

“I’m his assistant, we were working on a new material for tomorrow’s lesson for year 1. Is there any problem with that, professor?”

Snape looked at her once again and only nodded. He didn’t answer and just gave her the last look and left without saying anything. Hazel rolled her eyes and went to Ravenclaw common room where she saw all her friends. Lily saw her immediately and smiled and waved at her. “Hazel! Where have you been? We were looking for you everywhere, we thought you have not arrived yet but your stuff and Claire are here,” Lily said after they stopped hugging.

“Oh, I had to go to professor Lupin. Say hi and prepare new materials for tomorrow. Now when I remembered what we were learning in year 1, I know why I hated it so much. It’s so boring.”

“Right! I forgot you’re his assistant. But that’s so cool, anything for you to graduate this year and finally be free,” Lily smiled at her looked at her neck.

This is when Hazel knew something’s wrong. “What?” she asked scared, she didn’t know what she saw but she only could think about a few things.

“You have a bruise on your neck,” the blonde girl said and gave her a weird look. “What the hell were you doing there? Fighting with dragons?”

“Oh, this. It’s nothing. It’s a curling iron.”

“Really? Because it looks so fresh.”

Hazel put her hand in her neck trying to cover the bruise, “it’s nothing really. Don’t worry about it.Lily then left the bedroom saying goodbye to Hazel and she was left alone. She started thinking about everything that had happened the last year and all these moths. She smiled without realizing it. She went from losing everything to founding maybe… the love of her life? She knew the rest of the school year was going to be amazing, all the classes yet to assist Remus and all the evenings they would spend together. She was excited and for the first time she didn’t want this year to end because that would mean going to auror training and they wouldn’t be able to see each other as much.

***

It was the next day, Monday. She woke up from the best night she had in months, she thought. All she could think about was seeing Remus and then her friends. Was this the best day ever? It was going to be a good day. She had her 3rd period with Remus as a normal class instead of Potions because Snape had to help Dumbledore with something, of course he didn’t share what it was about. Then she had a free period and then she got to see Remus again because she had class with him again but as his assistant this time with Ravenclaws and Hufflepuff from first year. She loved their little excited faces whenever Remus would bring a strange creature. She thought they had their whole life ahead of them and that brought a smile to her face. Hazel then had Charms with one of her favorite teachers, Flitwick, and then she was free.

She arrived early at the Great Hall to have breakfast because it was almost empty except for a few teachers and few more students. Hazel sat next to Lily and Darcy and looked over to the teacher’s table looking for her lover. She liked so much how it sounded, and even more how Remus called her love. She was daydreaming without even realizing and only came back when Lily tapped her in the shoulder. “Earth calling Hazel, anyone home?” she laughed and Hazel giggled.

And there he was, entering the Great Hall in his usual outfit consisting of straight pants, a shirt with a tie and a cardigan. She loved the way he felt like home. Hugging him was like hugging a stuffed toy, so warm and soft.

As he walked past the girls towards the teacher’s table, he gave them a warm smile accompanied by a “good morning ladies, see you in class later. Don’t be late,” and a wink.

“Yes professor, see you later,” Hazel answered with a smirk.

Lily looked at them and smiled. “Ah, I see you two finally made up.” Hazel looked at her with raised eyebrows. Lily proceeded to explain Hazel how she was the one who talked to professor Lupin about it and Hazel thanked her after. The first two periods felt like forever, because the only thing that was in her mind was seeing Remus in class and it was finally that time. Darcy could swear that she saw Hazel raise up her skirt a little but she thought it was her imagination. Why would she do that?

When everyone was sat Hazel raised up her hand to catch the professor’s attention and he went to her seat “Is everything okay, miss Harris?” he said with a serious tone. In class he was only his teacher, no special treatment for her. And that turned her on.

“You see, professor. This morning, at breakfast you said no to be late, so I came with such a rush, that I’ve forgotten my book at the dorm. Could you possibly lend me one for this class?” she said and looked him deep in the eye.

He knew what she was doing. “Sure, take one from the back of the class,” he said in the same serious voice from before. He knew she was teasing him but he could tease her, too. She spent the rest of the class teasing him whenever she could but without making it obvious to the point where even Remus couldn’t hold himself. “Okay class, I have a few questions for you. If you answer correctly, good for you and that means points for your house. If you ask incorrectly, well then, it’s not so great,” the whole class groaned, they didn’t like quizzes, but the truth is. Who does? “First, what is the incantation for the snake-vanishing spell?” Remus asked and looked around the class, he saw Hazel and her friend Lily are having a good time, so he decided to play just like she was playing with him earlier, “miss Harris, having a good time, are we?”

“Sorry, professor?” Hazel looked up and saw Remus walking towards her. She looked at Lily and gave her apologizing smile, “shit, I’ll handle it. Don’t worry.”

“Can you answer my question, please?” Hazel looked up at her teacher and bit her bottom lip, while looking deep into his eyes. She was waiting for him to break the eye contact, but he didn’t. “I see you are not able to answer a simple question and still, you are talking with your friend, miss Walker over here. Detention for both of you on Saturday.” Remus said staring deeply into her eyes and smiled at the end. Hazel couldn’t believe what he just did.

“Professor,” Hazel said when he was walking away from her desk, “Lily didn’t do anything. It was me who started interrupting. I can stay for detention but she didn’t deserve it,” Lily was about to protest, but Hazel stopped her, “I got this.”

“What an honest person you are,” Remus said and smirked at her. “Well then, alright. Miss Walker you’re free from detention but pay attention to class next time.” Remus said and smiled at Lily, she returned the smile and looked down on her books. “But you, miss Harris, because miss Walker doesn’t have to stay, you have to stay two hours on Friday. And please, meet me after class, I have one thing to discuss with you,” Remus said and she could swear she saw this annoying smirk on his face. “Back to class,” he said and continued the class. Hazel couldn’t focus for the rest of the class. All she could think about was Remus, talking to her in his serious voice. The way he was looking at her. “Don’t forget about a quick test tomorrow!” Remus reminded while students were leaving a class, all he could hear was their groans but it was understandable. No one liked tests, “I know, I know. Have a good day!”

Hazel sat on the top of her desk, waited for the rest of the students to leave while Remus waved at them wishing them a nice day. When they were left alone in a class, this was when he turned around and looked at Hazel that his expression changed. He looked like a beast. Like he had been holding on for too much time now.

“You. My office. Now.” Remus said without looking at her. She bit her lip and giggled. She got up from the desk and gave him a quick look, then went upstairs. She knew he’s behind her. As soon as she entered his office she was being pushed against the door, “it’s not okay to tease your professor that way. This is a bad behavior.”

Hazel’s eyes light up, “oh, is it, professor? Then I must get a punishment, don’t you think?” she said pouting her lips. In a second his entire body was pressed against her. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer to him. He started placing kisses all over her neck and saw the hickey that she had poorly covered with makeup. That only turned him on more. But he had the perfect punishment for her. She needed to learn that in class they were only professor and student. No teasing. Right when he was about to kiss her and could feel her hungriness for his lips, he walked away from her, leaving her with the desire. She pouted again, “but, Rem..” she managed to say.

He got close again but this time he took her face in his hands, that seemed huge compared to her face, “you need to understand, love. In class we’re only teacher and a student. I could lose my job and you could get expelled. And none of us want that, right?” she nodded still with a sad face because she wasn’t getting what she wanted. Remus kissed her, but this time it was different. It was soft, slow, warm. They both smiled through the kiss. “I need to grade some papers and you have time to study for tomorrow’s test,” Remus said and she agreed.

Remus sat on his desk and started doing his job and Hazel did the same thing. She didn’t have to study much, because she already knew these things from last year but she did it anyway. There’s never too much to learn, right? From time to time she would look over her book and see him all concentrated grading his papers. He looked so cute. His hair was falling down his forehead. She felt the weird urge to stand up and put a hand in his hair.

She got bored of reading the same thing all over again and got up and started rambling around his office, looking at the different things Remus had brought and filled in. A few Muggle books, marked with post-it’s, a whole shelf just for his tea and few leather suitcases on the ground. He was so focused on his papers so he didn’t even notice when she got behind him and started massaging his shoulders, he looked a bit tired.

“Thank you, love, I really needed this” he said letting out a sight.

“Anytime” she shortly answered and began kissing him on the cheek while she kept massaging him. The kisses shortly after went from the cheek to his neck. She could hear his little sighs while she was kissing his neck. He put the quill down and moved his head to one side. “Relax for a bit, you’ve been grading papers non-stop since the class ended,” she said almost whispering to his ear. She could feel his muscles started to relax so she smiled and kissed his neck once again.

Hazel sat on his lap facing him and wrapped her hands around his neck, letting a kiss on his nose. To which he answered giggling, “what would I do without you?” She stayed there sitting on his lap like a koala with her arms around him and her head resting on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat. It was so calming. That was her happy place, her safe place. She knew he was her home in that moment. For the first time in months she didn’t feel alone. She had someone now. “I could stay like this forever,” Hazel looked up at him after he said these words and smiled at him, “of course not like that, with these papers but with you in my arms.”

It was when she knew for sure. But she was afraid of saying this. She was scared he would reject her. What if he doesn’t love her back? What if that’s just a crush for him? She threw all the bad thoughts away from her head and looked at him. He was beautiful, the most beautiful man she has ever lied her eyes on. Her feeling for him were strong. But was it love?


	8. Chapter 8

Hazel put her hand on his cheek and he leaned into her touch and smiled. She loved seeing him smile. She started rubbing his cheek and she felt his hands rubbing her back. She had chills all over her body. “You know,” she started and exhaled loudly, looking at him.“There’s this song, it’s very beautiful. My mother used to sing it to my dad since I remember.”

“What song, my darling?” Remus asked looking at her, still smiling.

Hazel didn’t respond, she only got up from his lap and went to the nearest window. She never sang in front of him. She never sang in front of anyone. But she loved to sing and she loved this song. “Take it easy,” she sang quietly, not looking at him yet. “With me, please,” Hazel turned around to face him, he was looking at her, “touch me gently, like a summer evening breeze,” she came back to him, put her hands on his shoulders, massaging it gently. “Take your time,” she kissed his cheek, “make it slow,” another kiss, behind his ear. He felt chills all over his body “andante, andante just let the feeling grow.”

Remus was amused by her and her voice and how peaceful she looked while singing. She had a voice of an angel. “Make your fingers,” she grabbed his hand and kissed his fingers, making him stand up, “soft and light,” Remus wanted to kiss her so badly right now, she grabbed his face in between her hands and leaned into him but stopped a few inches away from his face, “let your body be the velvet of the night,” she smiled, biting her lips and pulled away, “touch my soul,” she felt his hands on her waist so she smiled, “you know how.”

“Oh, I know,” he said softly, looking into her eyes, deeply.

“Andante, andante go slowly with me now.” She finally connected their lips in a passionate kiss, she could feel him smiling through the kiss which only made her happier. Hazel put her hands behind his neck and pulled his hair, which only made him groan. He gently pushed her against the nearest wall what made her giggle. She knew he’s ready for more, but they knew they didn’t have time. She let him kiss her neck and her chin, and every other part of her face. She could feel his teeth on her skin, a single moan escaped her lips. “Remus,” she moaned his name and it only made him want more, she could feel his hands going down, down and down. “We can’t. We don’t have time.”

Remus groaned but didn’t stop playing with her neck and the space behind her ear. He knew it’s her weak spot and it was only driving her crazy. She closed her eyes while he was placing soft kisses all over her neck, biting her skin from time to time. She gasped when she felt him sucking on her neck but she didn’t stop him. She knew she should but she didn’t. Hazel was playing with his jumper, she wanted to take it off from him so bad and make love to him for the rest of the day but they both knew they couldn’t. Hazel looked into his eyes after he placed the last kiss on her neck and looked back at him. She saw sparkles and it made her smile. She kissed his both cheeks, nose and then connected their lips once again.

Hazel and Remus came back to earth after a few minutes, because they knew they don’t have much time before another lesson, which is lesson with year 1.

Hazel barely remembered her fourth year, so she definitely will not remember the first one. From what she remembers from year 4 is her first kiss. A kiss was with this boy called James, he was one year older than her and her first “boyfriend”. At least that’s what she thought. Next thing she remembers is him making out with some Gryffindor girl. Hazel sent her parents a letter telling them everything. She was so sad, she really liked him and he treated her like this. Her parents sent a letter back a few days later, telling her not to pay attention to him or anyone else and that they love her so much. She needed them so much. Hazel knew she could tell Remus everything but there’s always going to be this feeling. She will always be empty without them.

Hazel got sad, and Remus noticed it. “Sweetheart, are you listening to me?” Hazel heard Remus’ voice and saw his hand in front of her face, “are you alright?”

“Yes, sorry.” Hazel said and gave him a quick smile. But he knew something’s off.

“I don’t believe you,” Remus said and grabbed her face in between his hands, looking deeply into her eyes. They were full of tears. “What’s wrong, love?”

“I miss them, Remus,” he didn’t need to ask who, he knew what she was talking about. He gave her a sympathetic smile and kissed her forehead at the same he pulled her close into his arms. Hazel dug her head in his chest and let a few tears fall off.“I miss them so much,” she said with muffled voice.

“I know, darling.” Remus said quietly, rubbing her back and caressing the back of her head, “I know,” he kissed her forehead and this is when he noticed her breathing was so heavy. Hazel felt like she had no air and started shaking. She was starting to have a panic attack. Something that hadn’t happened since the last time they saw each other. Remus cupped her face in his hands and looked her in the eyes. “Hazel,” but she didn’t respond. She was hyperventilating by now, “darling I need you to calm down. Breathe with me,” still no answer. “Look at me,” Remus said and she finally looked at him. He started exaggerating his breathing motions, making them slower and deeper.“There you go,” Hazel copied him and after a few minutes she was calmed down but tears kept running down her cheeks. “Are you feeling better?” Remus asked. He was really worried about her. He hated when she was sad or worse, hurt.

She nodded and smiled a bit, “I think so. Thank you. I really don’t know what I would do without you,” she hugged him again and left a soft kiss in his cheek. Remus smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

“I need to grab some things from my office, stay here in case students start to showing up.”

Just when Remus went upstairs, a bunch of students entered the classroom and Hazel turned so they didn’t see her cry. She wiped her tears with her sweater and forced herself to smile.“Good day guys. Professor Lupin will be down in a minute. Please take a sit, the class will start soon,” she said with a smile and went sat on top of Remus’ desk. Remus came back a few minutes later and started the lesson. The rest of the lesson went smoothly. There wasn’t much trouble except for a couple of kids in the back making jokes per se gaining themselves extra work. Hazel had left the panic attack long behind and was now interacting with the students with a happy smile and a soft voice, helping them one by one while Remus explained the general idea. From time to time he would look at her and smile. He was so proud of her.

Class ended and everyone left including Hazel that waved Remus a friendly goodbye and left for her last class of the day, Charms. She saw Lily and she seemed to notice her, too. “Hazel! Where have you been? I hope he didn’t give you too much homework. You know I could stay with you. You didn’t have to do it-” Lily was talking so fast but Hazel interrupted her in the middle of the sentence making her looking at her.

“It’s okay. All I had to do was sitting and studying for tomorrow’s test. That’s it,” Hazel smiled and Lily did the same, “then I had a class with him and the first year.”She walked with Lily to the Charms class and sat together as usual. It was all laughs and smiles until Hazel remembered her second hour of detention with her beloved teacher and started daydreaming again.

Lily tapped her shoulder slightly, “Hazel, are you feeling alright? You’re so distracted.”

“What?” it took her a few seconds to process the question. “Oh! Yes, I’m okay, don’t worry. Just tired, that’s all,” she smiled and put her attention back to professor Flitwick that was standing on top a book pile waving his hand.

Hazel couldn’t wait to feel his hands on her body. They had seen each other literally an hour ago but she was so touched starved. When they were together everything seemed to fit in and everything was perfect. She missed that. She loved everything about him, the taste of his lips on hers, the way his 5 o’clock shade beard tickled her neck when he kissed her, his big hands that were there to hold her in case she slipped. She trusted him completely.

The class passed rather quickly thanks to professor Flitwick friendly voice that made the class amusing and pleasant. Hazel had small troubles with a few topics, but Remus promised her to help. He sometimes filled in for Flitwick when he was absent so that was a huge plus. Hazel really enjoyed Flitwick’s classes. He was one of her favorite teachers and she was happy to learn new stuff. Since Charms were one of the subjects she was taking on her N.E.W.T’s she had to make sure to pay attention on every lesson.

It was supper time now. Hazel sat next to her friends and they started to eat, and talk. The conversation rolled over another party that Gryffindor boys were planning, but the subject quickly changed when someone said something about Sirius Black. Now when Hazel knew the truth about Sirius, she couldn’t listen to all these horrible stuff people were talking about him. She wanted to say he’s innocent, but she couldn’t.

She spotted Remus sitting on his spot, looking at her. She looked at him, but she didn’t do anything. They had to play professional while being around people. Even though the thought of him taking her on this table right here filled her thoughts and the feeling in between her legs were becoming annoying. She remembered the incident from earlier and now she was regretting that she was the one trying to stop him. She knew Remus could be quick if he wanted. He could make her feel good in a very short time, and he would have a time for his own pleasure. She shook her head and got back to eating supper, but the thought didn’t leave her head not even for a moment.

***

Weeks kept passing by and their meetings became more often. They were trying to keep their relationship professional when they were around people, but sometimes, especially close to the full moon Remus was becoming quite touchy.

_One time professor Hooch almost caught them making out in a broomstick closet. They hadn’t found the time to meet properly in his office but they missed each other so much that they thought a broomstick closet would do best. They were going to kiss again and just when Hazel leaned on to meet his lip the only thing she found was his finger on her lips trying to shush her. “Someone’s coming, I can hear it,” Remus whispered._

_“Well, dating a werewolf sure has its perks,” Hazel answered. They got away from each other and started acting as if they were looking for something. When professor Hooch opened the door, looking for a new broomstick because a first year had broken theirs, she found Remus and Hazel as apart from each other as possible._

_As Hazel grabbed a broomstick Remus added enthusiastically, “ah, finally, Miss Harris. I was wondering where all the broomsticks were gone,” he tried to laugh it off._

_“Yes! The broomstick, what I came looking for… for that thing in class,” she added nervous. Professor Hooch had just been listening without saying a word when she finally asked Hazel to pass her a broomstick too, and so she did and the professor left, leaving the two lovers back in their closet sighting in relieve. They looked at each other and smiled, almost as if the thrill of getting caught excited them. Hazel leaned onto him and got close to his ear to let a whisper fall, “oops… almost caught professor,” she let go and kissed him softly just below his ear. Remus needed a second to not lose his mind in that precise moment right there._

_“Don’t…” Remus grabbed her hands and hold them behind her, “…play with me, sweetheart.” He kissed her hard and pressed her body against the nearest wall. He felt her smiling through the kiss and gasping into his lips while he was biting her bottom lip._

_“I will remember to play with you more often, then.”_

Then February came and everyone was looking out for the trip to Hogsmeade with their partners on Valentine’s Day. Remus had planned to surprise Hazel with a little trip of their own, away from the rest, but it was him that ended up surprised. Remus had planned to ask Hazel to stay after class and tell her his plan for the day there but when everyone entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts class and not a single trace of Hazel was seen he got worried. She would never skip class like this without telling him. Maybe she was working on a surprise for him too? All the doubts were resolved when he saw Hazel’s friend Lily walking up to his desk to talk to him alone.

“Professor, Hazel is skipping class because she’s having some trouble,” Lily explained.

“Trouble? Is she okay?” Remus asked, now worrying.

“Yes sir. It’s…” Lily tried to say a little bit embarrassed. “It’s girls’ stuff. She’s having really bad period cramps, sir. Madam Pomfrey already gave her something and let her rest in her dorm but she’s weak,” Lily finally explained.

Remus could feel blush coming to his cheeks, “well thank you for letting me know,” he added.

The two of them came back to their respective desks and just as the class started, it ended. When everyone was leaving, he reminded everyone to be in the front door at 3pm if they didn’t want to miss the trip. Once he made sure that everyone was gone, he sneaked onto the Ravenclaw girls’ dorm and there he found Hazel, all curled up in a ball, half sleep, groaning in pain. He reached her carefully not to make much noise that could bother her and sat on the edge of the bed.

Hazel looked up to see who it was and when she saw Remus her whole face light up a bit, still in pain but pleasured to see him. “Hey,” she softly said trying to sit up.

“Hey,” he answered almost whispering while he stroked her cheek with the back of his palm, “Lily told me you were here. I had plans for today but I think it’s best we leave them for another day.” Remus explained and Hazel’s face saddened a bit, blaming her period for coming at the worst time.

“I’m sorry I ruined your plans,” she said.

“What are you saying?” Remus asked, “you didn’t ruin anything, love.” Hazel finally sat up and held her head between her legs trying to suppress the pain of the period cramps. Remus looked at her and felt sorry that he couldn’t do anything to help her and suddenly an idea came to his mind. All of year 7 would be in Hogsmeade today so why not take Hazel to his chamber and pamper her with a day of snuggling in hopes of her forgetting her pain. Remus got up from the bed and grabbed Hazel bride-style, exiting the Ravenclaw dorm on their way to his chambers.

“What are you doing, Remus? Where are you taking me?” Hazel asked, not knowing what was going on.

“I’m changing the plans,” Remus briefly said without much further explanation. He sat her down on the floor next to the fireplace in Ravenclaw Common Room and said a spell very quietly. In a second they both appeared in Remus’ chamber. Hazel was looking at him in awe. “I’ll teach you that one day.” The man grabbed her again and then carefully put on his bed and went to make some tea, that he thought would make her feel better. He came back after a few minutes with two cups of freshly made hot tea, black, as she liked it. “Is there anything I can do for you, darling?” Remus asked.

He wanted to help her relieve this pain but he didn’t know how. “Actually… there’s one thing you could do,” Hazel answered a little bit flustered.

“Of course, what is it?”

“Lay on top of me,” she simply said.

“What?” he asked, not knowing what she meant.

“The weight helps, it suppresses the pain of the cramps”.

“Oh,” was all he added, “sure, let me grab a blanket so you don’t get cold.” Remus disappeared for a few minutes and came back with one of his sweaters and a blanket, “here put this one, you’ll be more comfortable,” he said.

Hazel took the sweater and put it over her own clothes, bringing it to her face to take a deep breath and smell his essence. Chocolate, tea and a sense of security and stability along with love. She laid back on the bed and dragged Remus along with her making him trip and fall on top of her chest where he laid his head, listening to her heartbeat. He planted a kiss in one of Hazel’s hands and closed his eyes while holding her left hand. Meanwhile Hazel had started to play with Remus’ hair with her free hand. That feeling left both sleeping in less than five minutes and they stayed that way for the rest of the day.

It was only when Hazel heard the hustle of the students coming back from their trip that she woke up, she figured it’d be around 7pm for the way the light came into the room. She softly caressed Remus’ cheek and slowly sat up trying not to wake him up. Her pain had finally stopped, thinking that Madam Pomfrey solution had worked. She watched him sleep for a few seconds before lowering her head and start leaving a trail of kisses along his face, following the pattern of his scars. Remus finally started opening his eyes just to find a big smile looking at him. “Morning sunshine,” she whispered.

He smiled moving his head to place it in Hazel’s lap, “how are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’m better now. It doesn’t hurt that much anymore,” she said with a smile and kept playing with his hair, intertwining her fingers between lose strands of hair and massaging his head along the way. “Can’t we stay like this?” Hazel asked and Remus laughed.

“I really wish we could”. Remus got up from her lap and grabbed her little face in between his hands and kissed her. He felt her moaning through the kiss which only made both of them want more, but they knew they couldn’t. At least not right now.

“I have to go,” Hazel said after they pulled away. She got up leaving him on his bed. He was looking at her and smiling, biting inside of his cheek. She was about to take his jumper off but she saw him shaking his head and telling her to leave it on.

“I miss you already.”

She laughed but answered with the same, smiled and left his chambers, then his office and finally was on her way to her dorm before anyone noted her absence.

***

It was Saturday, two weeks later when Hazel was going to meet up with Remus because she got detention. Again. This time on purpose. She was hoping for something more than last time. She walked down to Remus’ office and passed by a few students that gave her a friendly smile and she smiled back. She went from fighting everyone that came in her way to smiling to each other. That was a great improvement. Hazel continued walking to Lupin’s office and entered without knocking first. She saw Remus from behind. He was examining a tiny skull so deep in his thought he didn’t even notice her walking up to him. She hugged him from behind and put a kiss on his neck. She was a bit smaller than him so she had to stay on her toes to be able to reach his neck.

Remus got scared and turned immediately only to find Hazel smiling and laughing at his little jump. “Merlin’s beard, don’t do that! You almost gave me a heart attack,” Remus said trying to get his breath back.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips softly, just before saying, “I’m sorry, I thought you would hear me since you have this extra werewolf hearing.”She let him go and put on a serious face, “I’m here for my detention, professor,” there she was playing the innocent student again. She knew this turned Remus on and she didn’t waste any opportunities she had to get a hold of this. “I hope you give me some hard work to do, I deserve it after all,” she said almost pouting like a lost puppy.

Remus knew what she was trying to do but he couldn’t let it happen again. He turned on his back again. “You can do your homework,” he put down the skull in the table again and grabbed some papers, “I’ll be in my desk grading some papers, if you need me,” without saying anything else he walked over to his desk and started shuffling between the papers while Hazel started doing her homework.

She wasn’t asking any questions, maybe something happened and he wasn’t in a mood for anything. She respected that. But deep, deep in her mind she was dreaming of walking over his desk and sit in his lap but at the same she didn’t want to angry him, so they both sat in silence the whole hour, each working on their stuff. He actually seemed distant for some reason. This made her upset, but she didn’t say anything. But there was a thought, what if I did something? What if he’s mad at me? She got back to her homework and only stopped when Remus approached her desk and sat at her table. “The hour is over now Hazel, you can go,” he said without looking at her.

“What happened?” she asked with her arm crossed on her chest. He looked up at her and was about to say something but she didn’t let him. “You’re distant again. What happened?” he only looked at her and sighed. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, love. Of course not,” he said and stood up. “But we need to talk.”She hated these words. Hazel looked at Remus and he looked kind of sad, she didn’t know why and that worried her. “The full moon is 11 days. And I need to leave,” Remus said with a sad tone. He didn’t like the idea of leaving her alone for a long time either but it had to be done. When Remus was Moony he couldn’t control himself and he didn’t want to hurt her or anyone else.

“Remus, you can’t scare me like that!” she said and shook her head. “I thought something happened between us.” Hazel now came closer to him, grabbing his hands into her own and smiled. “I understand you need to leave. It’s okay,” she brought his hands to her lips and kissed them, “but it’s in 11 days, we have a lot of time,” she was upset he had to leave but she understood. It wasn’t the first time they had gone through this as they had been dating for three months now, but this time it felt different; she didn’t know why. When they weren’t together she would miss him but during full moons it was worse. She would not only miss him but she knew that Remus was suffering and she couldn’t do anything about it. She couldn’t even be there with him and that broke her. Apart from missing her boyfriend she also had to assist Professor Snape, as he was taking over Remus’ classes while he was gone. The idea didn’t pleasure her but she had to do it.“So, how will it be?” she seemed interested.

“Well, I’m going to start taking Wolfsbane potion next on Monday. And I’ll go the Shrieking Shack as always. But I need to leave at least 2 days before the full moon, so I can accommodate myself. I’ll visit Madam Pomfrey when I get back just to check everything’s alright. And I’ll go back to you.” Remus explained.

Hazel wasn’t daydreaming anymore. This was serious and she was worried that anything could happen to him or to anyone. And on top of that it hurt her that she couldn’t be there for him when this happened. Luckily for her, she was learning to be an Animagus, so maybe she could spend full moons with him, just like his friends did.

The full moon was on March 8th, but that was also a day when Hazel was going to start her Animagus preparation. Meaning, she had to take a leaf of a mandrake in her mouth and keep it there for the whole month, till the next moon. She was taking Transfiguration on her N.E.W.T.s so being an Animagus was a part of it, and she had to start learning it now. She wasn’t really happy about keeping a loaf in her mouth for the entire month, because she heard that’s disgusting, but she had to.

“So, when are you leaving?” she asked after a few minutes of silence.

“In 9 days,” he noticed she got sadder but he grabbed her face in between his hands and looked down at her, “I will be back before you can count to five.”

“One, two, three, four-” Hazel was interrupted by his lips on hers. She melted under his touch and moaned into his lips which only made him smile. She tasted like strawberries and mint. She felt his hands on her lower back, one hand cupping her ass, which made her giggle a little bit.

“Save that last number for when I’m back, alright?” Remus said into her mouth and felt her chuckle, “I have a class with fifth, then second year and then I’m free, and so are you.”

“So that means I can come to your chamber and cuddle with you?” she asked and looked up at him. She knew he can’t say no to her. Hazel saw him smiling and rolling his eyes.

“Of course you can, sweetheart.”

And that’s how the rest of the day went. Hazel and Remus met each other after hours in his chamber and spent a few hours on cuddling on his bed. Talking, laughing, kissing and doing other activities. He was telling her about his life in Hogwarts before he became a professor. He told her about him and the rest of the Marauders. About all the pranks they had done on other students and teachers. She could spend the rest of her life laying by his side and listen to him talking about anything. His voice was so beautiful, deep and he had this specific accent. Everything about him, every detail made her fall for him more every day.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw sexual assault

After spending the whole evening with Remus yesterday, Hazel went back to her dorm and fell asleep almost immediately. She woke up the next morning still feeling his scent on her clothes. And all that because she took his jumper without him knowing so she could feel his perfume when he was away. It was Tuesday, Hazel didn’t have much classes today except Charms, two hours of Care of Magical Creatures, Defense Against the Dark Arts with year 3, then two free periods and her own DADA class with her year. Charms went alright, the same thing with other class. She could even say she was bored, even though she got a lot of homework. DADA went well, too. She tried not to tease Remus too much this time, because she knew he’s a bit weaker and he wants to do his work well before going away for a few days. She also knew that he was more needy during the full moon, especially two or three days before.

She had two free periods now so she was going to spend this time on reading outside with her cat. Hazel wanted to visit Remus but she knew he had classes now, so it would be rather dangerous. She was walking mindless on the corridor but came back to earth when she heard someone calling her name. She turned around and saw her Hufflepuff classmate, Sam, running in her direction.

Hazel stopped and looked at him. “Do you have time to help me and a few friends with studying for DADA test we have today? We have a problem with one thing and we don’t know where to start,” said the boy. “Please, you’re the best in our year. If we’ve gotten better in DADA it’s because of you,” he added. Hazel smiled at the confession.He was cute. Sam was a tall boy with black hair, brown eyes and skinny posture. He wasn’t in her type, but he was handsome.

She couldn’t say no to him. Maybe they weren’t particularly close but they were friends after all. Sam used to help her with Transfiguration so she couldn’t say no. She agreed and went to library with him, where she also saw a few other students from her year. Sam, Mary and Taylor were sat on the other side of the table, in front of Hazel who was now explaining them what to do. It was a simple exercise but she understood not everyone’s good at everything. She likes helping her friends because she used to be in a situation where she didn’t know what to do either.

“Alright, so you, Mary”, Hazel looked at blonde girl and smiled at her. “What’s the name of the tongue-tying curse?” It took Mary a few seconds to think about the correct answer but she finally got it right, “excellent!” She got shushed by a few other students that were also studying in the library so she quickly apologized and got back to asking her friends questions. They answered most of them correctly so she was sure they are gonna pass.They spent the whole two hours on this project and then it was time for them to go to DADA class. Mary and Taylor left earlier because they had to use a bathroom before class. Hazel was left alone with Sam.

“So, how’s it possible for you to taking a year 7 again when you know absolutely everything?” Sam asked and she could see a little smirk on his face.

“I’m flattered that you think so,” Hazel blushed a bit for her friend’s comment but she was able to hide it. The truth is that she never knew how to take compliments. “But it’s difficult thing to answer. A lot of things happened last year and I wasn’t able to pass every class. That’s it.”Sam smiled at her and sighed. They should be leaving to class soon before it begins. “We should go. Rem-” she stopped herself before saying Remus’ name. She looked at Sam, who was looking at her. He didn’t seem like he noticed something, “professor Lupin doesn’t like when someone’s late to his class,” she gave him a smile and stood up.

He followed her, not saying anything about her earlier comment. She was hoping he really didn’t notice anything, because that would be rather awkward. The couple entered a class together. They were 2 minutes late and Hazel hoped Remus will not be mad.

Professor Lupin was waiting for them and when they finally arrived the whole class went quiet. “Sorry we’re late, professor.” Sam said but Hazel saw the look on Remus’ face and it wasn’t his kind face. Hazel looked at him and gave him a “what?” face, he only rolled his eyes and broke the eye contact. Hazel sat next to Sam because every other place was taken.

“Now, when everyone has finally arrived, we can start the test,” Remus said without looking at his students.Hazel could sense something’s wrong but she didn’t say anything. She couldn’t focus on anything because she could feel Remus’ eyes on her for the whole time. She was starting to be annoyed, and the worst thing is she didn’t know why Remus was mad at her? But, was he really? Remus often walked next to their desk like he was trying to see something. Hazel decided to ignore him. She was the first one who finished their test so she stood up and walked to Remus’ who was now sat on the top of his desk. She wanted to ask him about his sudden change of emotions but she knew she couldn’t do it now. “Thank you, miss Harris,” Remus said without looking at her and it hurt her. She only nodded and walked back to her desk. She felt like she was going to cry but she couldn’t.

“Are you alright?” Sam asked her and looked at her. She was deep looking down and playing with her fingers, completely ignoring everything what’s around her. “Hazel?” she finally looked up at him and saw him staring at her, what made her a bit uncomfortable but she didn’t say anything.

She just smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” Hazel bit her bottom lip and looked at him once again. “I’m fine,” she said and went back to looking at her hands. Sam also finished his test so he was trying to catch Hazel’s attention but nothing seemed to work. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She was sad. Confused. But she looked up and smiled at Sam, “how do you think it went?”

“Good. I’ve had a nice teacher,” Sam said and winked at her. She blushed and smiled at him. She could hear the footsteps coming towards them so she looked up and saw Remus coming their way. The look on his face was... there were no emotions. Just empty look.

“I don’t know if you realize, but some students are still taking a test so I’d recommend you stop talking or go on a date after this class ends,” Remus said and without giving them any chance to say anything back he left. Hazel was looking at his back, she saw his hand was in a grip. She still didn’t know what caused all these, but she was sick of it. If he’s playing like this, she’s gonna play like this, too. Being mad and distant for no reason? Great, it’s a challenge.

When the class ended everyone left the class, including Hazel. She didn’t want to stay, not after Remus is acting like a complete dick for no reason at all. She was the first one to leave the class what actually surprised everyone, because she was always staying after classes to talk to Remus. At the beginning she was going to stay after class and ask Remus what’ve gotten into him but she didn’t want to fight. She didn’t want to ruin anyone’s mood because the truth is that she was in a quite good mood today. Hazel was about to go to her dorm when she heard her name being called again. She turned around and saw Sam, she smiled and waited for him. “Sam, do you need anything?” she asked politely and smiled again.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go and hang out in the library with me?” he said while looking deep into her eyes. She felt slightly uncomfortable because of his eyes on her but she smiled and nodded. Both of them were walking through the corridor, talking and laughing. They were about to enter the library when Hazel suddenly looked back and saw Remus looking at them but when he saw her looking at him, he broke the eye contact and walked away. Sam didn’t see anything because he was looking for something in his pocket but he noticed Hazel looking back so he patted her shoulder and she finally turned around to face him. “You alright?” he asked and all she did was smiling and nodding. They entered the library and sat next to the big window, “so, Professor Lupin seemed to be not in a great mood today.”

“Yeah, tell me about it” she rolled her eyes and looked at him, “I’m sorry it was mean.” Hazel said after she saw the hurt look on Sam’s face, “I’m so sorry, Sam. I just-”

“I’m just messing with you,” Sam laughed quietly and shook his head. “But seriously, are you okay? You seem pissed off.”

“I’m good. I’m just mad about the exam,” Hazel answered shortly. Which was obviously a lie.She wasn’t in a mood for long conversation. She was wondering why she agreed on meeting up with Sam, when she was in a bad mood. She didn’t want to make him feel sad, but he didn’t seem to care.

“You think it went bad?” Hazel bit her lip and nodded. “Rubbish. I know you did good. You always do. You’re smart, intelligent and... very beautiful,” Hazel could feel her red started turning read and she couldn’t control it this time, “I mean it.”

“Thank you,” she answered quietly and giggled. “Why did you ask me to hang out? Don’t you have friends to be with? I bet you have more important things to do right now.”

“Nope. I told them I will be with you after classes. You seemed sad so I wanted to keep you company.” Hazel blushed once again. Why was she blushing? Right, she was terrible at taking compliments. She never believed anyone who was telling her nice things.

Remus was the first one who she believed, because she loved him. Suddenly she got sad again, on a thought of Remus. She threw the thought away and got looked back at Sam. They spent a few hours in a library, talking, laughing. She really liked him. He was a good friend, and she made her forget about Remus’ weird behavior.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Sam asked suddenly. Hazel looked up at him and raised her eyebrows. “It’s a free day tomorrow. Did you forget?”

“Right,” Hazel laughed. “I’m not gonna do anything, I’ll probably stay in my dorm and read something, since everyone will be out spending time with each other, I’ll finally have time to sit in my dorm in silence.

Sam only nodded and bit his bottom lip, “what do you say if we spent this day together? Mary and Taylor were telling me to ask you that earlier but I forgot. So, I’m doing it now.”

“What are we going to do?” Hazel smiled and Sam smiled back. The four of them spent this day outside the castle. Hazel really enjoyed their company, they seemed like a cool group of friends. She was missing her friends so she was happy she found somebody here. Sam and Hazel were spending more free time together in the past 3 days. After classes and in the morning. They had almost every class together so they were arriving and leaving together. They were becoming good friends what made her happy, because she didn’t have much friends here.

Remus was still acting like a dick, so Hazel was doing the same. He was ignoring her, so she was ignoring him. He was being distant, and so was she. They still had to have classes together, of course, and it only made everything worse. Students noticed their behavior. Just like in the first time, after their fight after their first kiss. And it was... almost 6 months ago. Since they kissed. And about 3 months ago since they confessed their feelings to each other. She was happy. And now? Now something’s broken again.

The truth is, Remus wasn’t mad at her. He could never be mad at her. He was just hurt. Hurt because he saw the look o her face when she was around Sam. A young, handsome, funny boy, who was also her age so she wouldn’t be ashamed of introducing him to her friends. And him? He was much older than her, he wasn’t the most handsome man walking on earth. But this was only what he thought about himself. And it was hurting him but he understood this at the same time. He was prepared for Hazel to leave him one day for someone her age. He was only her professor after all. Why would she even be with someone like him? She was a beautiful, young, smart woman and he was…just him.

***

Another few days passed.

Hazel still wasn’t talking to Remus who was now ignoring her even more. She couldn’t understand what happened but she wasn’t asking. Still. She didn’t even have a chance to talk to him after class, because he was either leaving in rush or making her angry so she was leaving first.

It was now Wednesday, which is the night when Remus has to leave. She wanted to go and say goodbye to him, and this is what she was going to do. But not now. She saw him earlier and he was so nervous and it looked like he got into some kind of argument with Dumbledore, so she didn’t want to go near him. “Hazel,” she heard her name behind her, so she turned around and saw Sam smiling at her. Hazel smiled back and hugged him. They became closer in the last few days, and she was happy about it. She didn’t like to be alone, and she needed company. Otherwise she would sit in her dorm and over think everything, “up for a little walk?”

“With you? Sure,” Hazel answered and smiled at him.

They were about to leave the castle when she heard her name being called again. She recognized this voice. This deep voice. This accent. She looked at Sam and turned around to see Remus walking towards them. He wasn’t smiling, he has a straight look on his face. “Are you going somewhere?” he asked and looked at both of them. The idea of them leaving a castle together was scary for Remus. He didn’t want to let her go out with him, but he knew he can’t stop her.

“Yes, we are going for a walk,” Hazel answered looking directly into his eyes. She saw he bit the inside of his cheek but she got back to his eyes. “Is there any problem, professor?”

Professor. She knew calling him that works on him. But this time, the way she said it was dry. She wasn’t smiling. She wasn’t smirking. She just said it. “No. But I would like to meet you in my office after you’re back from this walk,” he said and made sure to say the word “walk” a bit clearer.

“Will do, professor. See you later.”

Sam and Hazel finally left the castle, leaving the conversation behind. None of them mentioned it ever again.While they were on their way to the Forbidden Forest, Sam noticed she was thinking about something so he stopped and grabbed her hand. “Are you alright?” Hazel looked at Sam and nodded, “I don’t think I believe you, Hazel.”

“Well, you have no other choice because I’m telling the truth,” Hazel said and smiled at him, then looked down and saw him still holding her hand. “Do you mind?” she asked pointing at his hand.

“Oh, right! Sorry,” Sam let her go and moved a few steps back. “Are you sure?”

Hazel didn’t like when someone was pushing on her with anything. Especially with questions like that. If she says she’s fine, she’s fine. But she didn’t want to be rude so she just nodded. However, Sam didn’t look convinced. “I’m fine, Sam. Don’t worry,” she gave him a smile and looked down on her feet. She was feeling a bit uncomfortable and Remus was still in her head. They were walking around the forest when Hazel suddenly stopped, and so did Sam.“But thank you for caring. I really appreciate it,” she looked back at Sam who was now looking directly at her face, like he was looking for something and muttered “you’re welcome”.

Before she could realize, her friend was standing directly in front of her. Their faces were so close. Sam was a bit smaller than Remus but he was still tall. She knew what he was going to do and she had to stop him. But the problem is that she was paralyzed and she didn’t know what to do. She felt his hands on her face and his face slowly moving closer to hers. This is when she had to wake up. It was wrong, and she didn’t feel the same way as he did. “Sam, stop,” she said when he was inches away, but he didn’t stop so Hazel had to pushed him away. Hazel felt like his hands were leaving her face and grabbed her by her waist. “Sam, stop it!”

“Don’t you like it?” he asked still holding her close to him. “After all these days you spent on flirting with me? Now you’re rejecting me?”

“I wasn’t flirting with you. We were just talking,” Hazel answered, trying to get out of his grip. “Let me go,” Hazel said trying to sound tough, but she was shaking and he could feel it. “Let me go!”

She was scared now. He was stronger than her and now was holding her pressed to his body. She had to do something but she was paralyzed. Especially when she felt his lips on her neck. She felt disgusted. She felt disgusting, because of him. He made her feel dirty. She felt chills all over her body, but it wasn’t good chills like the ones Remus gives her. It was chills that were a warning. She saw him pulling away for a second so she took her chance and punched him in the face, which made him let her go. Then she kicked his knees from behind what made him fall and this is the moment when she ran away. She looked back to see if he’s chasing her but she saw he was still laying on the ground. Hazel almost tripped a few times, because it was March and it’s a raining season so the ground was rather unstable but she kept running. She knew exactly where she was, because she knows the forest better than anything.

After a few minutes she was back to the castle and her first thought was to find Remus. She didn’t care if he’s mad at her, she needed him. She felt disgusting. Dirty. She passed by few students and professors who gave her surprised looks, because she was crying. She didn’t know when she started crying but she did. She passed by professor McGonagall who was trying to talk to her after she saw she was crying but she wasn’t listening. She needed Remus. She found herself in front of his classroom and entered the class without knocking or saying anything. She saw him sitting on his desk with head in some papers he was currently marking.

“Oh, Hazel. You’re earlier than I thought,” Remus said still in a dry tone, but she didn’t answer. He didn’t even notice when she was going his direction bur he looked up when he heard sobbing. He looked at Hazel and before he could react, he was holding her “Hazel, sweetheart, what happened?” Remus was trying to talk to her but she was shaking and she couldn’t say a single world. “Darling, what happened? Please, look at me,” Hazel finally looked up at him with tears falling down her cheeks and she couldn’t stop sobbing. It wasn’t only tears; it was full panic attack. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see because of her tears. “Breathe with me, Hazel,” Remus said and grabbed her face but she slapped his hands from her face and moved back. “What happened? You’re worrying me,” Remus was trying to grab her hand but every time he was getting close to her, she was shaking even more. “I don’t know what happened, butbaby please breathe. Look at me and breathe. I’m not gonna touch you, just please look at me and breathe with me.”

Hazel finally looked at him and started to taking deep breaths just like he told her. After a few minutes her breathing got back to normal but she was still crying. Remus tried to come closer to her again and this time it worked because she fell into his arms without him even trying. She started to cry harder, but at least she could breathe now. He was rubbing her back, whispering to her hear and kissing her forehead from time to time. He was holding her, trying to calm her down. “He-” Hazel tried to speak but every time she tried, tears started falling down again. “He tried to kiss me and-”

“Who?” Remus interrupted her and grabbed her face in between his hands, looking at her.

“Sam. He was trying to kiss and touch me everywhere, and I couldn’t do anything,” after these words Hazel starting shaking once again but this time Remus looked at her with fear in his eyes and she could feel his muscles were becoming harder. She knew what that meant. “Remus, no. Please, don’t say anything-”

“No!” Remus yelled and looked at her. He was angry. But not with her. With this little friend of hers. It was the first time he raised voice on her.“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,” Remus pulled her closer to him again but he was angry. He was so angry but she needed him right now. He will deal with him later. It’s Hazel who needs him right now.“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s lay down, come on.”

“I can’t walk- oh!” before she could finish the sentence, she felt her body was in the air.

Remus was holding her in his arms, going upstairs to his office and then to his chamber. She wasn’t crying anymore but she was still shaking. Remus put her down on the couch and kissed her forehead, then went to make some herbal tea. He came after a few minutes with tea and big jumper. “Tea, for nerves. And jumper for my angel,” Remus said and gave it to her, he saw her smiling which made him smile, too. But he was still angry. No, he wasn’t angry. He was furious. A quiet “can you help me change, please?” left her mouth and Remus stood up without hesitation, grabbed her t-shirt and took it off her, leaving her for a second in bra only. He looked at her and saw a big bruise on her waist. “What is this?” he asked pointing at her waist. “Did he do this to you?” she nodded breaking the eye contact. She felt ashamed. Remus helped her put the jumper on and sat next to her. He heard her sobbing again so without any hesitation, brought her close to him so he was now sat in between his legs, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Hazel asked quietly, “it’s not your fault, Rem.”

“I let this happen. If I stopped you before leaving the castle, this wouldn’t happen. I was being childish,” Remus was furious but now also sad. Someone hurt the most important person in his life and he wasn’t there to stop it from happen. “I’m so sorry, darling. I’m so sorry.”

“Remus, it’s not your fault,” Hazel turned around so now she was sat on his lap looking deeply into his eyes. “Don’t blame yourself. It’s my fault. I wasn’t focused.”

Before he could say anything else, both of them heard steps coming from the outside of the door. Before they could move away from each other, professor McGonagall entered the room and looked at them with a smirk. They moved away from each other so fast but it was too late. She saw them. Remus was about to say something but she silenced him with a hand. “Don’t say anything, Remus,” Minerva said and smiled at both of them. “Sit down. Both of you.”

Remus and Hazel looked at each other with fear in their eyes. McGonagall took a sit on a chair in front of the couch and looked at them. Hazel wanted to grab Remus’ hand but she knew she couldn’t. They were screwed. He will lose his job and Hazel will be expelled.

“Professor,” Hazel started but McGonagall shook her head and Hazel didn’t say anything.

Now they were waiting for her to speak up but they were scared. They were so scared. “Now,” after a few minutes of silence, McGonagall finally spoke up, making both of them more stressed than they actually were. “I would ask you two to tell me what is happening here, but I think I know the answer.” Remus was about to speak up but Hazel grabbed his hand and shook her head, “but I will not do such thing, because I knew something’s up in the air since last month.” Remus and Hazel looked at each other and then back at the elder woman sitting in front of them. “What? Maybe I’m old, but I’m not blind. I can see when two people have feelings for each other.”

“Professor, let us explain,” Remus was once again interrupted by her, but this time she laughed.

“Dear boy, there’s nothing to explain. You two are lucky it’s me who noticed this and not professor Snape, because if he did, you two would be in trouble a long time ago.” Minerva smiled at them and stood up. They were still so confused but they stood up, too. Hazel grabbed Remus’ hand and squished it hard. Minerva looked down and smiled. “Now, why won’t you make us some tea, Remus?”

Remus only nodded and left Hazel alone with Minerva. Hazel was avoiding the eye contact with her professor but she dared to look at her. She was looking at her, too. Hazel broke the eye contact and looked on her left to see Remus in his little kitchen, preparing some tea. She smiled to herself and heard McGonagall giggling.

“He’s a good man, Hazel,” Minerva said and looked at her student, “you couldn’t be luckier,” Hazel once again looked at her professor and smiled. She was right. “But you two need to be careful. You are graduating in 3 months, but still.”

“We know,” Hazel answered quietly and looked at her hands. “You are not mad?” Hazel asked and the only thing he got in response was Minerva’s laugh.

“Why would I be mad, my dear? You can’t control who you love. You can’t control your feelings. It’s a human thing. Sometimes it’s confusing and you fall for wrong people but by looking at the two of you, I can tell there’s nothing wrong with that,” Minerva looked at Remus who was now going their way with three cups of tea. “It’s a beautiful feeling, sometimes painful but beautiful. You’re of age and consenting. That’s all that matters.”

The couple told McGonagall everything since the very beginning and she was listening to them like it was something very important. Well, it was important, after all. After they finished talking, Hazel explained both of them what exactly happened today. She told them everything Sam did and said to her and she showed them her bruises she has on her waist and her wrist. Remus couldn’t listen to this so he was walking around his chamber rubbing the back of his neck, very furious.

“We need to inform Dumbledore. I will not leave this like that,” Remus said after a few minutes of silence. Hazel was trying to stop him but he was now stood in front of her. “Hazel, he hurt you. He hurt you and I will not tolerate some son of a bitch-”

“Remus!” Minerva raised her voice at him so he looked at her and apologized.

“I will not tolerate anyone who hurts people I love,” Remus finally said and kissed her forehead, leaving her with McGonagall again.

“I will talk to him, before he does something stupid. You stay here, dear, you need to rest,” Hazel wanted to protest but McGonagall and silenced her with her hand, so she gave up.

Hazel sat on the couch; legs pressed to her chest. She started crying again, but this time quietly. She wasn’t scared anymore;she was just tired. She thought she’s gonna spend this day with Remus, cuddling on this couch, kissing and laughing. And now he’s going to Dumbledore’s office and she’s praying for Sam not to show up anywhere near him, because if Remus saw him it would end very badly for Sam. She knew he deserves to be punished for what he did, but she knew Remus is going to do something but she couldn’t stop him. She didn’t even have strength to get up.

Remus left his classroom when he heard his name being called, he ignored this because he knew it’s McGonagall. “Remus John Lupin!” Minerva called his name three times so he finally stopped, sighed and turned around to see her approaching him, “what are you going to do?”

“Find this son of a bitch, give him a lesson and then bring him to Dumbledore,” Remus answered and was about to leave when he felt a tight grip on his wrist. “Let me go,” he said and shook his arm so she finally let him go.

“I know you’re angry but you can’t hurt this boy. No matter what he did, you could be fired for that,” Minerva said but he didn’t seem to listen, “think about how Hazel will feel when you are not here anymore.” this is what stopped him. He turned around and looked at her, rolling his eyes. She was right. “You can go to Dumbledore’s office but do not touch the boy. He will get a punishment but you can’t do anything. Understood?” Remus nodded and rolled his eyes, “understood, professor?”

“Understood.”

Hazel finally got up, she couldn’t just sit here and wait. She knew Remus is going to do something and she couldn’t let it happen. She was about to leave the classroom when the door suddenly opened and Remus entered the class, looking at Hazel and smiling. Hazel smiled back and closed the space between them and hugged him tightly. He was her home. When she was in his arms, she felt safe. No matter what mood she was in, he made her feel better every time. She was his home, too. He loved to hold her, he loved to kiss her, he loved to make her feel good. He loved her.

Hazel looked up and saw him smiling down on her. She touched his cheek and felt him leaning into her touch. She slowly forgot about what happened earlier, even though it was still at the back of her mind. Remus closed the space between them and kissed her, gently cupping her little face. She put her hands into his hair and pulled them, making him groan. She started playing with his hair because she knew it always makes him feel better. After a few minutes they pulled away and looked deeply into each other’s eyes.

“You’re amazing,” Remus smiled at her words and quickly pecked her lips. Hazel smiled and bit her bottom lip. She saw him looking at her lips so she smirked and smiled again, “can you hold me?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” she made him feel soft. He couldn’t say no to those eyes. Both of them went back to his chamber and went to his bed. Hazel struggled with taking her shoes off, but Remus helped her and they found each other laying down on his bed, cuddling, kissing from time to time,“I really don’t want to leave you here. Especially not after what happened.”

“It’s alright. I’ll be just fine. I’ll be waiting for you,” Hazel said and lifted herself on her elbows to face him, because she was laying on his chest. “I’ll miss you, but I’ll be fine,” she smiled at him and gave him long, gentle kiss right in the middle of his lips. Remus chuckled and looked at her once again. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. After everything he’s been through, he deserves a bit of happiness and love. Remus lifted his hand and tangled his fingers around Hazel’s ginger hair. He loved her soft hair. He loved her gentle and beautiful smile. He loved her eyes. He loved her little nose and her freckles. He loved all of her.

“You know he will be punished, right?” Remus said after a few minutes of silence and looked her right into eyes. “I won’t do anything, even though you know I could. But I won’t because I know I would get into big trouble for that. And I don’t want that, because that would mean that we couldn’t see each other until you graduate.”

“I know,” Hazel said quietly. “I’m sorry this happened.”

Remus frowned his eyebrows and looked at her, putting his hand on her cheek. “Baby, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. Don’t ever think it’s your fault,” Remus saw tears in her eyes so he quickly pulled her to him and kissed her forehead. He could feel she started sobbing so he started to rub her back to calm her down a bit “I will protect you with my all. No harm shall ever get to you, ever again. I promise, sweetheart.”

This only made her cry more but he knew she needed to let it all out. It was understandable. But she felt safe in his arms. She could feel his warm body pressed against her. His lips on her forehead and his hands around her body, protecting her. “Are we not gonna talk about this week?” she asked, not looking at him but her head as resting on his chest. She could feel his muscles weren’t relaxed now, “did I do something? Why were you angry at me? Why are you angry with me?”

“I’m not angry with you. I could never be angry with you,” Remus answered looking down at her.

“Then why were you acting like I did something wrong?”

“Let’s not talk about this now. I want to spend some time with you, in a good atmosphere. I want to lay down next to you, feel your body against mine, your cold hands touching my skin. I just want to be here with you, right now. I promise we’ll talk about this when I’m back,” Remus said and kissed her before she could say anything.

Remus and Hazel spent a few more hours with each other before Remus had to leave. He left around 10PM so he no student could see him. Hazel left earlier because it would be a bit suspicious if she left from his classroom so late so she was in her dorm at 8PM. Remus had to go to Dumbledore’s office before he left, because he wanted to make sure Dumbledore knew about everything that happened today. He assured him that Sam will be punished for what he did, but he had to talk to Hazel first. Remus couldn’t protest because that would be rather odd and he wouldn’t be here anyway. Remus knew everything will be different now. Since McGonagall knew about them, they felt safer because they know she will not tell this to anyone. But they are also scared, because what if someone else knows about them, too?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the misunderstanding uploading Chapter 9 again! We're two authors uploading this and there was a miscommunication. All right now :)

Hazel woke up the next day around 6AM, she couldn’t sleep much at night, because she knew Remus is gone. Well, not gone but away. She was worried about him, even though she knew he’s safe, he knows what to do. But she was still worried, because she loved him so much. Even maybe a little bit too much, sometimes. She spent the whole day with Lily because she couldn’t focus on anything, she was thinking about him all the time. It was one of the worst days she had, and all this only because he was gone. How could she be so stupid in the past months when they were both away, and not together?

She woke up on Friday, around 6AM. It was second day she couldn’t sleep because of him, but the good thing is that when she wakes up tomorrow, Remus will be back. So that was the only thing that kept her thoughts positive. She got up and put her school uniform on and Ravenclaw robe on top of that. She put her sleeping clothes, which was a pair of black leggings and Remus’ jumper, to her little closet. She saw Lily was still asleep on the bed next to her, so she had to be quiet. She took her favorite book and left her dorm. She wanted to spend her day alone so she went to the library because she needed to clear her thoughts a little bit. Hazel passed by a few students that were already up and gave them a smile. She also passed by a few professors and gave them smile, as well.

She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t realize she bumped into someone. She looked up and saw professor McGonagall smiling at her. “Oh, good morning, Professor,” she said and looked at her feet.

“Good morning, dear. How did you sleep?”

“I couldn’t sleep much,” Hazel said and gave her a sad smile. “I know he’s safe but-”

“I know, dear.” Minerva said and looked around. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I was going to go to the library and read a bit, why?” Hazel asked.

“Oh, nothing,” she smiled. “I was just wondering why are you up so early. See you later in class. Don’t forget that you’re about to take the leaf of mandrake today.”

“How could I forget,” she laughed. “See you later, professor,” Hazel smiled and went to the library.

When she entered the library, she felt this specific scent of old books she absolutely loved. It smelled similar to Remus’ chamber. But Remus’ chamber also smelled like chocolate, fireplace and the most important: home. Hazel smiled at the thought of him and sat next to the nearest window so she could see that Hogwarts was slowly waking up. She saw a few students walking outside, even though it wasn’t even 7AM yet. But the weather today was warm and nice so it was no surprise that people would spend their time outside. Hazel looked around and sighed. She didn’t really know what to do while he was gone. Well, of course she knew she still had to study and make sure to focus on all the classes but she couldn’t stay focused knowing she won’t see him for the next two or even three days. He told her that he can feel that this full moon will be more tough for him this month. She didn’t like the idea of him dealing with all this on his own, but she also knew that he’s stubborn and he will not take that risk to come back to Hogwarts covered in blood again.

When the time for breakfast came Hazel got up and went to the Great Hall where she met up with Lily and her other friends. Hazel told Lily about the incident with Sam, and she made sure to keep him as far from Hazel as possible. She saw him sitting on the other side of the hall and it made her feel unwell. She knew professor Dumbledore knew about the whole situation and he made sure to give Sam the punishment and he won’t go near her every again, but she was still scared.This is what trauma was after all.

“What are you gonna do later today?” Lily asked after they were done with breakfast.

“Well, we have only 4 classes today so I guess I’m gonna just spend some time outside for the rest of the day. The weather is beautiful,” Hazel answered and smiled at her friend. “Why are you asking?”

“Oh, we are going to the Three Broomsticks tonight with girls, and we were just wondering if you’d like to join us?”

“What time are you leaving?” Hazel asked curiously. The truth is that she hasn’t been out in a long time now, so maybe this would make her feel better and forget for a moment about Remus being away.

“Around 7 or maybe 7:30.”

“I’ll be there, for sure.” Hazel said as they walked into the History of Magic classroom. Four hours passed quickly. Hazel was with Lily for the whole time so she was keeping her mind busy. Lily didn’t know why Hazel was so down and distracted, but she learned not to ask too many questions, so she just let it be. If Hazel wanted to tell her, she would do it already.

Transfiguration was her last class, which she was happy about because she really enjoyed listening to McGonagall. She found comfort in her. She was like her mother; she was missing right now. And especially after she found out about her and Remus, she felt even closer to her. “Hazel, dear,” Hazel heard her name and looked back to see professor McGonagall smiling at her. “Would you mind coming here for a second?”

“Alright,” she said and told Lily to not to worry. “What is it?”

McGonagall waited for the rest of the rest of the class to leave so she could talk to her. “Why won’t you sit down?”

Hazel looked at her with a bit of a fear in her eyes. She didn’t like the atmosphere that has been created in this room right now. She felt something’s wrong. Why else would McGonagall ask her to come to her after class when she didn’t do anything bad. It was the only option. “Something happened to him, right?” she asked, afraid of her own words.

“No, dear. Of course not,” she said, and Hazel exhaled in relief. “He will be back tomorrow, as he promised. Don’t worry.”

“Then what is it?”

“Wait a second,” she said and looked behind Hazel. The door opened and professor Dumbledore entered the room, Hazel looked back and saw him, then he turned back to McGonagall and gave her questioning look.

“Hazel, how lovely to see you,” said Dumbledore. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright, thank you,” she answered, still in shock.

Why would Dumbledore come here to talk to McGonagall and her? “I know you must be confused what is happening right now,” Minerva said while Dumbledore stood next to her Hazel nodded and looked at both of them.

“A bit, yes.”

“Hazel,” Dumbledore said calmly. “Since you’re doing beautifully this year, all your grades are perfectly fine, you have not missed that many classes and you assist professor Lupin with his classes and help younger students with studying, I would like to ask you about making the speech for your graduation and then perform it in front of the whole school.” Dumbledore smiled at young girl who was still processing what he just said. Hazel kept looking at him and McGonagall and didn’t know what to say. A few moments passed and Hazel finally came back on Earth.

“Are you serious?”

“Completely serious.”

“I would love to do that!” Hazel said and got up happily. She gave both of them a smile and looked at them once again.

“Looks like you won’t have much troubles with taking your N.E.W.T’s as well, since your grades from your most useful subjects are almost perfect.”

“I’m trying,” Hazel smiled. “I want to become an auror after I finally graduate. If that doesn’t work out, I would love to be a professor.”

“Of what subject?” Dumbledore asked.

Hazel looked at McGonagall and smiled at her, she winked at her and smiled, as well. “Defense Against the Dark Arts, sir.”

“I see classes with professor Lupin made you love this subject more, and more every year,” Dumbledore replied.

“Oh yes, I definitely love his classes.”

McGonagall left the classroom for a moment. Hazel was left alone with Dumbledore, who was asking her many questions about her plans about life after school, and other stuff. Minerva returned to them with a leaf in the little box. She gave it to Hazel and told her to take it into her mouth. Hazel opened the box and saw a small leaf. She looked at them both and took the leaf into her mouth. It didn’t taste as bad as she thought, but still, it wasn’t something she would enjoy. “Don’t worry, dear, you can eat, drink and do whatever you’d like. But do not swallow the leaf. Be careful with that, or you’ll have to wait another month.”

“Okay, professor.”After a quick conversation, Hazel left the class with perfect mood and a leaf in her mouth. She still had Remus in her mind but now she was more focused on what Dumbledore has told her.

Hazel came back to her dorm and sat down on her bed. She was so happy right now. She took off her uniform and changed into something more casual since she’s going out with her friends in two hours. She put on beige trousers, white shirt and beige cardigan on top of that. She did her make-up and put her hair into a pony tail. Half up, half down. Her dorm was empty, because Lily, Darcy and Amelia were out right now, so she had the whole room for herself.

She looked under her pillow and saw a picture of her and Remus they took on Valentine’s day. She was laying on bed and he was on top of her, listening to her heartbeat. He was probably asleep by then. She used magic to take this picture because she couldn’t miss the opportunity when he was laying down so peacefully. Hazel smiled at sighed. She missed him so much. She took her record player from under her bed and turned it on. Since she was alone in her dorm she decided to listen to some music, since she don’t have much time to do it every day. And music was a huge part of her life.

_I see the crystals raindrops fall,  
And the beauty of it all,  
Is when the sun comes shining through,  
To make those rainbows in my mind,  
When I think of you sometime,  
And I want to spend some time with you._

She smiled at the sound of one of her favorite songs. It reminded her of Remus. He used to sing it to her, so every time she heard it, it only made her smile. “Just the two of us,” she sang quietly, holding a picture of the two of them in her hands, “we can make it if we try.”

After about 30 minutes Hazel heard a noise coming from the common room so she quickly turned off the record player and put the picture back under her pillow. “Hazel!” Lily said and went closer to her to give her a hug. “You look amazing!” Hazel smiled and looked behind Lily to see Darcy and Amelia coming into the dorm as well.

“Yeah, but look at this,” Hazel said and put her tongue out to show them the leaf. “It’s disgusting, but it doesn’t bother me at all. I can’t feel it.”

“The sacrifices you make for exams,” Amelia laughed. They sat down together, and started talking about everything and anything. And this is how the next hour and a half passed. After this time, girls left the dorm, common room and eventually left the castle. “I can’t wait to finally drink something,” said Amelia, “I haven’t been drunk in a while.”

“Haven’t we all?” Darcy added.

After their arrived to the Three Broomsticks, they asked for four beers at the beginning. The atmosphere was wonderful. They were talking about all the stuff girls usually talk about. Including men.

“So, Hazel,” Darcy said, a bit tipsy now. “You see this man?” Darcy pointed discretely at the man on the other side of the bar. He was looking at them. “He’s been starring here for the past 15 minutes. Especially after you got up to get us some more drinks. I think he likes you.”

Hazel looked at him once again, he saw her looking at him so he winked at her and grabbed his drink and drank it at once looking at her. He seemed tall, not as tall as Remus, but still tall. He had dark hair and a light beard. She smiled and looked back. “He seems nice,” she said and looked at her friends. “But I’m really not interested.”

“Girl,” Lily said and shook her head.“First you tell me you don’t like Josh, and now you’re telling me you’re not gonna try to get this guy’s name?” Hazel nodded and took a sip of her drink.

“What?” she asked after all of her friends were looking at her again. “I’m really not interested.”

“You have someone, don’t you?” Amelia said and smiled. Hazel looked away, avoiding the eye contact. “You have someone! And you didn’t tell us?!”

“Shut up,” Hazel silenced them and rolled her eyes. “Maybe. I’m not gonna tell you who that is anyway.”

“Is he older?”

“Is he rich?”

“Is he hot?”

Hazel looked at the three of them and rolled her eyes again. “He’s not a student, that’s all I can say and he’s older, yes.” The alcohol in Hazel’s veins start to do its job, because she would never say that if she was sober. She didn’t say anything more, because Amelia changed the subject after some random guy winked at her, so she was so glad he did, because she knew if they kept this conversation, she would say too much.

It was around 10PM when they were back to the castle. They were trying not to make too much noise. Since they were the oldest year, they were able to leave castle on weekends whenever they wanted and go back whenever they wanted. All four of them went back to their dorm, changed their clothes and fell asleep faster than they thought. Hazel fell asleep and the only thing she had in her head was Remus. She felt his scent all over her because she was sleeping in his jumper. She would finally see him tomorrow. Hopefully in the morning.


	11. Chapter 11

Hazel opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was Claire looking at her, purring quietly. She smiled at her and patted her on her head. Hazel tried to get up but her head seemed so heavy so she had a few tries before she fully got up. She saw girls were still asleep, and it was already 9AM. Hazel quietly opened her closet and put some clothes on. She gave Claire food she kept under her bed and left the dorm, carefully closing the door behind her.

She felt this excitement in her stomach when she was walking through the corridor. She passed a few students as usual, but most of them were either asleep or outside, because the weather was beautiful. After a few minutes, Hazel found herself in front of Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. She took a deep breath and opened the door. She made sure to close it behind her and she looked around, but she didn’t see Remus anywhere.

He must be in his chambers, probably asleep. She went her way to his office; he wasn’t here either. So that meant he was locked in his chamber. She carefully said the password and the door opened. Hazel entered his chamber and looked around. He wasn’t here. She got worried. Hazel sat on his bed and took a few deep breaths. Where would he be?

In the exact moment when she was about to get up and leave, she heard the door and after a moment she saw Remus leaving his bathroom, half naked, his hair still wet. “Hazel?” Remus said and dropped the towel he was holding and took a few steps towards her, she smiled and run into his arms. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you even more, Remus.” Remus looked down at her and grabbed her face in between his huge hands and kissed her forehead. He saw her blushing what made him smile even more. “Are you okay? Do you need help with cleaning the wounds? Do you-”Hazel started asking a lot of questions at once so Remus only shook his head and interrupted her with a kiss. This kiss was so sloppy, filled with love and affection. She put her small hands on his bare chest, touching it around like she was looking for something. Remus grabbed her by the back of her neck and pulled her even closer to him. She moaned into his lips and grabbed his arm.

“Stop talking,” Remus said after they pulled away, “I’m feeling okay, I don’t have many scars, except the new ones on my face. I’m really okay.”

“I’m more than happy to hear that,” she said and smiled at him. Hazel touched his cheek and he leaned into her touch. She looked at him once again. “You look hot.”

“Oh?” was the only thing that left Remus’ mouth. “That was rather an unexpected statement. But thank you, darling. You look very beautiful, as well.”

“I’m sorry,” she giggled and pulled away from him and sat on the edge of his bed. He looked at her face and then at her whole body. She was wearing black leggings and Ravenclaw sweater. “I think I’m still a bit-” Hazel was looking for a right word. “-under the influence from last night.”

“My girl finally went out?” Remus asked and started walking towards her, she smiled at winked at him.

My girl.

It sounded so nice.

“Yes, she did,” Hazel responded and looked up to see Remus standing in front of her. She looked up to see his face and this annoying smirk on his face. His knees were touching the edge of his bed. “And she had quite nice time,” Hazel added and grabbed his hand. “But unfortunately,” she kissed his hand, still looking into his eyes. “She missed her man so much, that she couldn’t focus on anything for a few days while he was gone. She couldn’t focus on any classes.”

“Yeah? And what this man can do to make it up?” Remus asked slowly leaning down to steal a kiss from her but she stopped him.

“She has a few things in her mind,” she said and finally let him kiss her. He was now on top of her, his left knee between her legs and his left hand in her hair. She was holding him by his arm, her left leg was hanged on his hip. He started placing slow kisses all over her neck until he heard her moans. He moved a bit and started kissing her exposed shoulder.

“I think this piece of clothing is unnecessary right now,” Remus said and grabbed her sweater and took it off her. She looked at him and bit her bottom lip. Remus leaned down again and started placing kisses all over her neck, shoulders and chest. Left hand went from her hair to her breasts that were still in a bra. Hazel was trying to be quiet, but he was making her feel so good that a few moans escaped her mouth. “Keep making these noises for me, pup.”

Hazel closed her eyes when she felt him placing kisses all over her stomach and hips. She felt his hands under the material of her leggings, taking it off. His fingers slowly tracing its way up and down her legs.He placed a few kisses around her belly button and went down to kiss her thighs missing the spot where she needed him the most. “Remus,” she said quietly, through her throat.

“Yes?” Remus asked and looked at her smirking. “Did you want something?” Hazel nodded. “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you?”

“Anything,” she managed to say after she felt his hands cupping her ass. Remus only smirked and started kissing her once again. A moan escaped her mouth after his hand touched her in the most sensitive place on her body. He slowly pulled her underwear off her body and threw it on the other side of the room. She felt his finger playing with her and then looked at him once again. He looked up at her and winked at her. He hid his face in between her legs. He had to keep her hips with his strong arm because she couldn’t stay still. “Don’t move,” he said, pulling away for a moment. Remus started kissing her, still missing the spot. He liked to mess with her, even though he knew she’s gonna be pissed at him after. In the exact moment when he was about to start what both of them were waiting all this time, they heard someone outside the door. Hazel looked at Remus who was now getting up putting his sweater over his head. “Go to the bathroom, sweetheart.” Hazel was in fact pissed. But so was he. Three knocks on the door again, whoever was behind that door were getting impatient.“Coming! Give me a second,” Remus struggled to say while he slipped in some pants and a shirt. He then went to open the door only to find professor McGonagall with her fist raised, ready to knock a third time, “Professor,” Remus greeted her. “Everything alright?” he added.

“Professor Lupin,” she greeted him too. “I just came to see that you were alright.” She entered the room, closing the door behind her before speaking next. “Hazel was very worried about you,” she explained. A soft smile drew in Remus’ face as he heard this; she was worried about him. After all those years alone he finally had someone that worried about him. Of course he didn’t want Hazel to go through that, but it felt nice knowing someone was waiting for you to come back.

“You should go see her, she’ll be very happy to see you,” McGonagall added as she started roaming around the room. She then noticed the clothes on the floor and the slightly messy bed and realized what was happening. They looked at each other, she noticed Remus’ hair was a bit messy. Remus with an embarrassed look and McGonagall with a smirk on her face. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she whispered as she left the room.

From Hazel’s perspective she didn’t know what was happening because the walls were so thick that it was hard to hear trough them. She decided to give a little surprise to Remus, in compensation for the failed Valentine’s day and these days missing him. She took out her wand and with a quick spell she learnt in the prohibited section of the library all of her remaining clothes -her bra and her knickers- started to shapeshift to a beautiful black lace three-piece lingerie. She looked at herself in the mirror and whispered to herself “damn girl you look fine”. Just when she was finished, the door opened and she saw a very open mouthed Remus looking at her like she was a candy awaiting to be unwrapped. His jaw was almost on the floor and as he got closer to lay a kiss on her he softly said “what did I ever do to deserve you” but Hazel had other plans. She stopped the kiss putting her finger in his lips and smiling with a grin. “My turn,” she whispered.

They both got out of the bathroom and Hazel pushed Remus against the bed, making him sit in the edge, with his arms extended behind him. “Such a tease,” he said and she smiled knowing what was coming.

Hazel got close to Remus, resting her hands on his thighs as she got closer to his mouth leaving a trail of kisses all the way from his lips to his ear, leaving some of them on his neck along the way. “Don’t move, I’ll be right back,” she whispered.

Hazel walked up to Remus’ office and brought his record player; she carefully chose the music. She decided that Just the Two of Us by Grover Washington Jr would do it and put the record on. She turned to see Remus in his bed, sitting on the edge, legs open and hands resting back, as if it was an invitation for her to sit on his lap, and she took it.She danced her way to him and just when she was in front of him and he thought she was going to sit on him Hazel turned and started to give him a lapdance, grinding against his now growing bulge. When he tried to put his hands on her hips she would stop and face him.

“No touching,” and she got closer. “For making me wait so much in your bathroom,” she smiled as she said it.Remus was at his limit, he wanted to take control of the situation, to grab her ass and make her sit on top of him and feel her wetness but Hazel kept on dancing. She finally took her bra and started to undo it while she moved her hips. When it was finally out, she threw it at Remus face that was now laughing by the sudden action. This was when Hazel sat on top of him and started grinding herself against his thigh where it happened to be his now hard member. A few moans left the mouth of both as they started kissing, she let Remus finally touch her and he went crazy. In a moment the man had flipped her and was now on top, as Hazel laid on the bed. “A little bit unfair that I’m the one that always ends up with no clothes meanwhile you still have your shirt and pants,” she said with a pout and he laughed and began kissing her, only stopping to pull his top over his head.

Her hands immediately went to his back when Remus started to give her love bites in her neck and collarbone. Hazel slipped her hands to his pants and started to take them off, he was almost laying on top of her one hand behind her neck and the other cupping her ass, so she could feel his prominent erection against her leg. She began to take off Remus’ pants but he had other plans. He stopped kissing her neck to focus on her thighs, leaving a trail of soft kisses until he reached her intimate area and began leaving kisses there not bothering to take off her lace knickers.

“So wet already?” he asked with a smirk and with a single move he took off the rest of the lingerie leaving her completely naked and began making motions with his tongue as he started eating her out. Hazel’s hands went to his hair and she involuntarily pressed his face deeper while moaning his name and a few swear words.

He took one of her legs and thrown it over his shoulder and kept going like that for a few minutes until Hazel said, “darling, if you keep going like that I’m gonna cum,” and intertwined her fingers in his hair moaning again. Remus stopped and came back to her face, stopping on her breasts to kiss them.

He took his pants off and pounded his dick for a moment before entering her. “Let me know if it hurts, please,” he said to which Hazel nodded as always and they kissed to suffocate the pain that was very quickly replaced with pleasure. Remus growled as he started thrusting and Hazel let go a few moans, louder than she would’ve liked but that didn’t worry her, after all they were in his chambers, well away from any student or professor that could be passing by. Remus wasn’t gentle this time, still recovering from the effects of the full moon left on him. He should be tired, but this month the moon had different effect on him. He was full of energy. He slowly bit Hazel’s neck what made her groan. Her fingers were tracking its way on his back, her fingernails marking his back. He will have a lot of red marks after that.

After a few minutes of thrusting and different changes of paces Remus warned her that he was about to come and started thrusting faster so that the two of them would come at the same time. He was trying to hold it longer, he wanted her to come first. He started rubbing her clit with his thumb, what made her moan into his mouth. He felt her coming after a few seconds, and then he let himself go.

“Fuck, you will rip me apart one day.” Hazel said as Remus collapsed on top of her. They were breathing heavily, and after a few moments Remus slid off her and placed himself by her side.

He laughed and brought her hand to his lips, giving her a few kisses, “Sorry, sweetheart. I’ll be gentle next time.”

“No, you won’t.” She said and both of them laughed.

Even though he was tired Remus still got up and reached for his wand to clean them both. He went to the bathroom and when he came back, Hazel was asleep and decided to leave her to rest for a while, as it was 10AM of a Saturday and none of them had anything to do next. He laid next to her and covered with a blanket so she wasn’t cold. Remus stared at her for a few minutes, taking in every detail and every little freckle. He thought she was beautiful and still didn’t understood what she saw in him, an old, poor, werewolf. He took a little diary and a pencil that he kept by his night stand and started drawing her face, right in the same position as she was sleeping. Remus was a very good artist although he would never admit that himself, and knew how to portray every aspect of her face perfectly. 20 minutes passed and the drawing was complete, he ripped it from the notebook and folded it, leaving a little inscription in the back: “For my sun” and then smiled.

He liked to think about her as his sun, because like the moon showed the worst of him, the sun did quite the contrary. Whenever Remus was with Hazel, he felt he was at his best, nothing could stop him in that moment. So he decided to call her that, my sun.

He left the drawing folded on the nightstand and went to prepare some black tea for when she woke up. Just when he was putting the tea pot in the stove, he felt hands circling his waist from behind. He didn’t have his shirt on, only his pants, so his skin prickled under the cold sudden touch. Hazel kissed his back before saying quick hello and Remus answered with a kiss on the lips. They both stayed in silence; but not an awkward one, they enjoyed the quiet and calm of the silence and after a few minutes tea was done. Hazel accepted the tea cup Remus offered her and they went to sit on the sofa.

Remus sat straight up while Hazel laid letting her head rest on Remus’ lap. “I have to go soon before any of my friends start wondering where I am,” she said with a sad voice. Neither of them wanted this to end every time but it had to, at least for now while she was a student and him her professor. “Thank you,” she added, “for the drawing. It’s beautiful”.

“I’m glad you like it,” he answered and pressed a kiss on her forehead which made her smile.

Half an hour later Hazel was dressed again and on her way to her dorm. She was walking down the corridors with a smile on her face, after these days missing Remus he was finally back and that made her happy. She was looking for Lily, to go to the Great Hall for lunch, that would start serving soon as it was close 12PM. She crossed a few students that she didn’t know but after a while a familiar face came across her, it was professor McGonagall winking at her. “I guess you’re not missing him anymore, Harris,” she said with a grin.

Hazel felt embarrassed. So that’s who knocked on the door, she thought.

“Yes, professor,” she shyly admitted and kept on her way to her dorm. The Defense Against the Dark Arts class and the Ravenclaw tower were pretty far each other so it always took Hazel a little bit of time to get from one to another.

When she entered her dorm there was only person there, Lily, who looked at her like she’s seen a ghost. “Where! Were! You!” Lily screamed while hitting her arm between each word and Hazel started laughing.

“Do you want to know the truth? I know you won’t stop until I tell you so…” Hazel laughed.

Lily dragged Hazel to her bed and grabbed her hands, “you start talking now, young lady,” her friend said.

“I’m older than you, Lily,” she answered.

Lily hit her arm again and sat next to Hazel. “Talk.”

It was difficult thing for Hazel She knew she could trust Lily. Hazel didn’t want to lie to her, but she was scared she will judge her. But she trusted her. “We started talking last year…” Hazel started explaining to Lily the whole story, only stopping when Lily had any questions or didn’t understand something – honestly their story was pretty confusing. “You can’t tell anyone about this, okay? If someone other than you or McGonagall found out I could be expelled and Remus could be fired,” Hazel warned her. 

“I won’t. You have my word.” Lily assured her. “So tell me,” she looked at her friend and smiled, “have you two fucked?”

“Lily! I’m not telling you that”.

“So you have.”

“Yes…” she nodded.

“Is he good?”

Hazel looked at her and rolled her eyes. “Yes,” she finally answered. Of course Hazel skipped the whole my-boyfriend’s-a-werewolf thing because that didn’t involve her. That was for Remus and Remus only to decide when he would reveal it, as he did with Hazel.

“I got to admit, it’s a little weird because you’re his student after all but you seem happy and that’s all I care about, Hazel. I’m glad he makes you happy and I hope you stay together for a long time,” Lily said.

Hazel grabbed the piece of paper that Remus gave her that was her drawing and held it close to her heart, “me too Lily, me too.” Hazel told Lily about a few things that happened between her and Remus, including the moment after they first fucked when she came back to Hogwarts after the Christmas break. Of course without details. Lily noticed how Hazel’s eyes looked when she was talking about Remus, how her whole face lights up when she said his name. “Also, it’s his birthday tomorrow.” she said and looked at her friend. “Will you go to Hogsmeade with me? I want to buy him something.”

“Of course. What do you want to buy him?” Lily asked.

“I have no idea. I hope someone will help me,” Hazel laughed and got up from her bed. The girls got dressed and left their dorm. They were walking through the corridor, praying Remus will not suddenly appear. Their trip to Hogsmeade was peaceful. They visited multiple stores but Hazel didn’t like anything. She bought him three chocolate bars and then visited the last store. It was a store with watches. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, dears. My name is Robert. What can I do for you?” Robert said and smiled at them.

“I’m looking for a birthday present,” Hazel said.

“A birthday present for whom? If you don’t mind me asking,” Robert asked and gave her a small smile.

“My boyfriend,” she responded and smiled. She still wasn’t used to the word boyfriend.

“Ah, love.” Robert laughed and invited them both further into the store. “And what is the name of the lucky man?”

Hazel hesitated for a moment. “Remus.”

“Remus,” he repeated after her. “I don’t know many men with that name, but Remus must be a lucky man.”

“I am the lucky one,” she said and smiled widely.

“I think I have the perfect gift you can give to your boyfriend.” Hazel looked at Lily who was now looking at her, too. “This is a special watch.” He showed her a black watch. It was beautiful. “You can put five specific phrases into this watch that will appear on the screen at the specific time.”

Hazel looked at the watch. “It’s perfect.” She smiled at him. “How much for that watch?”

Robert looked at her and gave her a beautiful smile. “Normally it costs 15 Galleons, but for you I will sell it for 7.” Robert said and walked behind the desk. “I know one man called Remus. Very kind man, tall and always happy to help others.” He said and looked at her, then make a movement with his hand across his face, that was meant to be the symbol of the scars. She nodded; she knew he know. Hazel gave him the Galleons and took the watch. “All you have to do to put the phrases into this watch is pressing this button and just say it. Then say his name and the watch will start working.”

“Thank you, Robert.” Hazel said and was about to leave the store when he called her again.

“I wish you two the best.” Hazel smiled at him and thanked him quietly, then left the store.

Lily and Hazel stopped by at the Three Broomsticks to get their favorite hot chocolate. They stayed there for a while and then got back to the castle. It was now almost 4PM when they got back to their dorm. Hazel was alone, because Lily was taken by Fred on a spontaneous date. Lily didn’t want to leave Hazel alone but she said that it’s fine. When Hazel finally sat on her bed, she took the watch out of the box and looked at it once again. She pressed the button and saw a little sparkles going around the little watch. “Thank you for saving me and making my life better.” Was the first thing she said. “I will take care of you till the day I die.” Hazel smiled and then thought of the rest of them.

“Thank you for being in my life and being the better version of myself.” She had a lot of stuff she would put there, but she had to make sure it will be something meaningful. “Even with grey hair I think you’re the most handsome man walking on this planet.” She laughed, she knew it will make him laugh, too. “No matter if you’re a human or wolf, I will always be here. Nothing will ever change that.” Was the last thing she said and then took a deep breath. “Remus.” The watch made a weird noise and then the sparkles started going around once again. That meant the phrases she said were going to be forever inside of it and it will appear on the little screen at 10AM, 1PM, 3PM, 5PM and 7PM. She knew she can change them one time after this, but only one time. Then it will be stuck in this forever. She smiled at put it back to the box that was now beautifully decorated. She also put the chocolate into the little package and put it under her bed. She was so excited for yesterday.

***

Hazel woke up around 8AM and the first thing she did was looking outside the window. The weather was beautiful. She got dressed into something comfortable and went to the Great Hall to eat breakfast. Lily, Amelia and Darcy were already there. They greeted her and started talking. Lily gave Hazel the look and discretely showed her that Remus just arrived to the hall. Hazel was going to leave before him so she can go into his chamber and wait for him there. He didn’t seem to notice when she left the hall, but after a moment he noticed she wasn’t here. Remus excused himself after he was done with breakfast and went his way to his chambers. He knew she was there; he could smell her scent and perfumes around.

Hazel was sat on his bed, playing with the sleeves of her jumper. She heard the steps coming from Remus’ office. She knew it’s him. After a few seconds the door opened and Remus entered the room. He was looking at her and she was looking at him.

“Hazel? Did something happen, sweetheart?”

Hazel didn’t respond, she got up to meet him half a way. She stood on her tip toes and pecked his lips and then smiled at him. He was smiling, looking at her. She grabbed his hand and brought him to sat on his bed. She took the little box from under his bed and gave it to him. “Happy birthday, baby.”

“Darling, you didn’t have to-“ he was cut off by her lips on his again. She could feel him smiling through the kiss and then pulled away, still looking at him. She muttered something like ‘just open this’ and then sat back next to him. He slowly opened the box and saw three bars of his favorite dark chocolate and then a little black watch. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“This isn’t a normal watch,” she said as she grabbed his hand. “But you’ll see it soon.”

Remus didn’t say anything, he just put the present behind him and grabbed Hazel and brought him to his lap. She was looking at him, biting her bottom lip. He put his hand on her cheek and brought her face closer to him. He kissed her slowly, she tangled her hands behind his neck and kissed him back. They were kissing for a few minutes, enjoying their company. There wasn’t anything sexual coming. They both didn’t feel like it. It was Remus’ birthday and Hazel wanted to make him feel special and loved. Even though she tries to make him feel this way every day. Hazel was the first one to pull away, she laughed quietly when she saw his parted lips and closed eyes. She kissed his nose softly and hugged him.

“I really don't deserve you.” Remus said quietly. “I really don’t.”

“Remus, what are you saying?” Hazel laughed and kissed his forehead. “You deserve the whole world, my love.” She rubbed his cheek, looking deep into his eyes. “Remus Lupin, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You saved me from my darkest times and I will be forever grateful for that.” Hazel got up from his lap and sat next to him, but never letting his hand go.

“I’m so scared I will lose you one day.” He confessed. Hazel looked at him but when she wanted to say something, he silenced her. “I care about you more than about anyone else in this world. You are the kindest, the most beautiful and the most caring person I’ve ever met. I don’t see myself with anyone else.” He said and sighed. “The days before the full moon, when you were out with... Sam, I felt insecure. I was scared he’s going to take you away from me, that’s why I was acting like an asshole. I’m truly sorry for that. I felt insecure about myself, about everything I do. I was scared I was going to lose you.” He looked at her, she had tears in her eyes, but so had he. “I hate myself for what I am, I hate myself for how I look, how I talk and just… everything. I will understand when you’ll decide to leave me for someone else one day. I will understand. I would leave myself, too, if I could.” He laughed, but then got sad again. Tears started falling down his cheeks, his whole body started to shake. Hazel grabbed his face and brought him into her chest. He was shaking, crying in her arms. She was rubbing his back, whispering into his ear, kissing his temple. She didn’t say anything yet. She knew he needed to let it out. He started sobbing into her neck, she felt his breath on her skin. It broke her. Seeing him like this broke her. She had tears in her eyes, too. She never knew how much Remus hated himself. She never knew that he got insecure when she was meeting with Sam. She never knew how he really felt, because he always tried to play it cool and help others.

“Remus, baby, breathe.” She said quietly, she felt him calming down after a few seconds. His body started to relax. “There you go, there you go.” She smiled and kissed his forehead. His face was wet, his eyes were red. “Remus, listen to me, sweetheart.” He looked at her. “No matter how unpleasant your mind is to you, don’t listen to it. I will never, and I mean never leave you. I will never replace you for anyone else. You are someone I deeply care about; you are the person that saved my life. You are someone who is always here for me, and I want you to know that I am and always will be here for you, too.” Hazel kissed his lips slowly, but before he got the chance to kiss back, she pulled away. “If you only could see yourself through my eyes, you would understand why I’m still here. Why I care about you so much.”

“Hazel-” Remus’ voice was weak. She silenced him by kissing him again, this time he kissed back. The kiss was gentle, sweet, full of love. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

“I am the lucky one.” When he was about to kiss her again, she looked at the clock on his wall, it was 9:58AM, and looked at him. “Put your watch on your wrist. Quickly.”

Remus didn’t say anything, he put the watch on his wrist perfectly in time.

“Thank you for saving me and making my life better” appeared on the watch. Remus looked at this again and then at Hazel. She was smiling at him. He didn’t say anything, he just brought her onto his lap again and kissed her again.


	12. Chapter 12

It was already one week into May, which meant that N.E.W.T’s were getting closer, and closer. Hazel wasn’t as stressed as she thought she was, but there was a bit of a fear at the back of her head. Full moon was in two days which meant that she can finally take the leaf out, but it also meant that Remus is going to be gone for another few days.

Today was her last time when she was able to assist Remus in his classes, because she had to focus on studying more now. That was no joke. She had last two months for more studying. She was of course working hard since the very beginning of this year but since she was Remus’ assistant, she didn’t have much time to study after classes. Hazel left her dorm and common room and went straight to Defense Against the Dark Arts class to meet Remus before class with year four. Ravenclaw common room were a bit far from DADA class so it always took her time to get from place to place.

After a few minutes she saw her favorite class and smiled widely. She was about to knock on the door when they suddenly opened and she saw a black haired,7 years Gryffindor girl. She smiled at Hazel, but Hazel didn’t smile back. Hazel waited until the girl was gone and entered Remus’ class only to see him putting his teacher’s robe on. She looked at him and raised her eyebrows. “What was she doing here?” Hazel asked coming closer to him.

“Miss Allen was asking to re-take the last exam you all were taking,” Remus answered while buttoning his robe. “Why are you asking, darling?”

“Nothing,” Hazel said and looked away. She hated this feeling in her stomach right now. She hated the fact that she sometimes got jealous, she knew it’s a bad thing but she couldn’t help it.

“Are you okay, Hazel?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Remus looked at her once again, and then smirked. He knew what was happening. “You are not jealous, are you?” he asked with a smile on his face.

“I’m not jealous,” Hazel answered and rolled her eyes. “Why would I be jealous of her?”

“You are so jealous, I can see it on your face,” Remus now laughed and looked at her up and down.

“I’m not jealous, Remus!”

“Don’t lie to me,” Remus said in a serious tone while getting closer to her. “You know I don’t like liars, sweetheart.” Remus stood in front of her, looking at her down with a smirk on his face. He saw she was blushing and it only gave him more satisfaction. He knew she was jealous but also too stubborn to admit that. He slowly touched her cheek and then went down to touch her neck and her shoulder, and then back on her cheek. Hazel felt chills all over her body. There was something in his touch that made her feel things she shouldn’t be feeling. She felt his other hand finding its way to her waist, pulling her closer to him. “Hazel, angel,” Remus whispered with a smile. “Don’t be shy.”

“I’m not s-shy.”

“Oh, aren’t you now?” he smiled at her and leaned down to her. “There’s no reason to be jealous. You know, you are the only one I want. The only one I care about.” The way he said it made her stomach go crazy. “Do you think I would look at someone else, when all I want is in front of me?” he asked softly, placing a kiss on her lips, “what do you think she was here for?”

“I don’t know,” Hazel answered quietly, she couldn’t focus on anything. All she could think about was how attractive Remus looked right now. She could say that he made her shy right now.

“You think she was here for something else?” Remus leaned down to her and captured her lips in his own. “You don’t think I could ever look at someone the way I look at you, now do you?” Remus kissed her cheek. “You don’t think I could kiss someone else when all I want is you?” Remus placed kisses all over her face, on her jaw, on her neck. He sucked on her neck and heard little gasps leaving her lips. He smiled and when she was trying to unbutton his robe, he stopped kissing her and pulled away, leaving her with her lips slightly parted and her looking at him. “We need to prepare some things before the class starts. We have 20 minutes; we better hurry up.”

***

Their last class together was going to be about Grindylows; how to identify them and how to defend against them. It was class with Gryffindors and Slytherins again, with Harry Potter’s class. As students started entering the class and reaching their desks, Remus placed himself in the middle of the class, asking Hazel to step aside to bring the creature when Remus asked her.

“Good morning guys. Quick announcement, this will be miss Harris’ last class with us, because as you all know 7th years take their N.E.W.T’s in a month and she will be busy studying,” Remus quickly explained. A few boos came from the back of the class, mostly from two boys named Seamus and Dean. Hazel had become a favorite among younger students, because she seemed approachable and she took her time in answering every one of their questions.

“Don’t be like that guys, you’ll still see me around. It’s not like I’m leaving,” Hazel tried to laugh it off but the truth is that she liked being in that environment and she was feeling a little sad that she wouldn’t be able to experience that anymore.

Class started and Remus asked Hazel to bring the tank he had step aside with the Grindylow inside. “Now can anyone tell me what this is?” Remus asked.

“That’s a Grindylow, also known as a water demon,” Hermione Granger answered.

“That’s right miss Granger,” Remus rewarded her. The class kept on going with Hazel interceding every now and then when Remus asked her, and going between the desks making sure every student understood everything. Class ended sooner that what she would’ve liked and she started collect everything they had used during the lesson. They were both in silence, kind of sad this was coming to an end.

“I’m not going to miss this part, that’s for sure,” Hazel tried lighting up the mood. When everything was in order Hazel got up to Remus and kissed him goodbye. “I’m gonna be in the library for the rest of the day, if you need me,” she said. He replied a simple “okay” and smiled at her.

***

Remus was taking his Wolfsbane potion as every month, because the full moon was getting closer. He had to leave tonight. Hazel decided to spend some time with him later, because she will be busy studying while he’s gone, but it didn’t mean that she won’t be worried. Because she’s always worried about him. They spent a few hours with each other, but when the time came Remus had to leave the castle and Hazel had to play it cool. Hazel ended the leaf process on the day of the full moon. She was happy about it, because it was getting more and more uncomfortable. Remus came back to the castle without many new scars this month.

For the next two weeks all Hazel knew was studying. She woke up, went to class and then spent the whole afternoon in the library. From time to time Lily would come up with leftovers from breakfast, lunch or dinner. Lily was also studying for her N.E.W.T’s but way more relaxed than Hazel, as she was only taking four. Not being able to really spend time with Remus was killing her because she saw him in the corridors, at the Great Hall and sometimes in the library but she couldn’t go and kiss him or hug him, and the nights she used to spend with time was now changed for nights in the library. In two more weeks she would take her N.E.W.T’s and although she thought she was going to do pretty well; a feeling of anxiety and insecurity was growing inside of her as days passed. What if she couldn’t pass her N.E.W.T’s? That thought never left her head and her aura became so dark. She was stressed and everyone could feel it.

***

It was Friday, five days before her N.E.W.T’s she was studying in the library as usual when Remus entered and went straight to her desk. “Uhm, miss Harris, can you come by my office tonight? Around 8PM?” he said pretending it was something related to school. Remus knew she needed to relax and that was exactly what he was going to do. Hazel raised her head from the book she was reading about charms and looked at him, who just winked at her.

“Yeah, I guess, professor” she said. The day passed so slowly, and Hazel couldn’t concentrate on anything that wasn’t Remus visit tonight. At around 6PM she left the library and when to her dorm to rest a bit before going to Remus’ office, and she found Lily was there cuddling with Claire.“Stealing my cat I see,” Hazel said jokingly.

“Well you see,” Lily said as she left her bed, with the cat in her hands, and laid next to Hazel. “Some of us don’t have boyfriends to cuddle with, you know?” she said jokingly as well. She was dating Fred, but who doesn’t want to spend some time with cute, fluffy cat? They both laughed softly and began stroking the cat’s hair.

“I’m going to see him tonight,” Hazel broke the silence. “Can you cover me if someone asks?” she asked.

“Of course,” Lily answered. They fell asleep before any of the two could realize and only woke up when Claire ran on top of Hazel’s body trying to escape the two girls.

“Ouch!” Hazel screamed. “Fuck off!” she said at the cat, and Claire meowed in response. “Yeah, I’m talking about you,” the redhead girl answered. Lily was still asleep when she left her dorm to go to Remus’ and she decided to leave her like that. She deserved that sleep too.

After a few minutes walking she reached her dearest Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and knocked on the door three times before entering, just in case someone was inside apart from Remus. Hazel took a deep breath and smiled at herself. She hasn’t seen Remus in so long, so she felt a bit stressed. But she was happy, because she missed him so much. She missed his kisses, his hugs, his soft voice. Hazel opened the door and entered the class, then looked around but she didn’t see anything. The class was dark, but she felt safe. Hazel went upstairs to his office, hoping Remus would be there, but she was wrong. He wasn’t there. She decided to look around his office, even though she knew this place very well. Hazel took one of his books and started reading the cover.

“Did anyone not tell you not to touch what isn’t yours, miss Harris?” said the low voice. Hazel felt chills all over her body and turned around to see Remus standing next to the door, closing them quietly.

“Sorry, professor,” Hazel answered innocently. “You know that I’m a very curious person.”

Remus smiled at her and walked up to her, she was smiling and looking at him. Once they were close enough, Remus grabbed her waist and pulled her close to him, closing the distance between them and connected their lips in a passionate kiss. Hazel smiled through the kiss and she felt Remus smiling, too. His hands were on her waist, and her hands were on his neck. “I missed you,” Remus said into her mouth and then pulled away.

“Missed me or missed kissing me?” Hazel smiled and bit her bottom lip.

“Both,” he responded and kissed her again, but this time it was slower and longer. She could feel one of his hands cupping her butt cheek what made her giggle, but she liked it. She was a little smaller than him so she had to stand on her tip toes to reach his lips, but he found this very adorable. Hazel smiled though the kiss and sighed into his mouth. They pulled away after a moment and looked at each other once again. Remus put a hand on her cheek and rubbed it slowly, it made her smile. She missed him so much.

“I missed you, too. You have no idea how much,” Hazel said after a moment. “I’m sorry for that, by the way.”

“What are you apologizing for, sweetheart?” Remus asked still rubbing her cheek. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You have your exams soon, there’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m glad you’re studying instead of not caring about it,” he smiled at kissed her forehead what made her smile, too. “Of course, you could give yourself a break for a one day, because you are studying every day for hours. It’s not good for your health either, you know? School is important, but so is your health.”

“You don’t understand,” Hazel said and pulled away from him, he looked at her and raised his eyebrows. “I need to pass this. I need to. I can’t fail. I need to study as much as I can.”

“I understand, darling. But—“

“No you don’t!” Hazel raised her voice and looked at him. She saw him looking away. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, love.”

“No, it’s not,” she said and took a step towards him and grabbed his hand, then brought it to her lips and kissed it. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice. I’m so sorry.”

“I understand. You’re just stressed,” Remus smiled at her and looked at their hands. “You need to rest, darling.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“I’m sorry-“ Remus put his index finger on her lips and she looked down and smiled.

“No more apologizing, understood?” he asked and took his finger from her lips.

“Yes, sir.” They both laughed and went their way to Remus’ chamber. It was a little bit messy, because Remus had to leave in rush this morning, but none of them cared about this. Hazel threw herself on his bed and took a deep breath and felt his cologne all over his bed. Remus went to the bathroom and this is when Hazel noticed black jumper hanging loosely on his chair. She took her shirt off and put his jumper on. It smelled so much like him. She sat back on his bed, crossing her legs as Remus walked out of the bathroom.

He looked up and saw her sitting on his bed, and then noticed what she was wearing. She saw him smiling and she smiled, too. “I left for 2 minutes and you already stole my jumper.”

“I like wearing your clothes,” Hazel responded with a smile.

“I like when you wear my clothes,” he said and sat on his bed not very far away from her. He was taking his shoes off when he felt kisses all over his neck. He enjoyed it very much and let a few sighs out. But he wanted her to relax so he quickly turned around and pushed her down, pinned her hands above her head and placed himself on top of her. She was surprised but she didn’t seem to complain much.

“What are you-“ Remus interrupted her by kissing her face and neck. She started giggling and moving her legs, because she suddenly felt very ticklish. “Stop, please! I can’t breathe!”

“Ticklish much?” Remus giggled, too and kissed her neck again just to meet her sweet giggles. He heard her repeating words like “stop”, “enough” and “I hate you”, but he didn’t stop because he loved the way she was laughing. He finally stopped and looked down at her, her hair was messy and her face was all red from laughing. He noticed a few tears falling down her cheeks but he kissed them off. “I like your laugh.”

“I like you.”

“I like you, too.” Hazel and Remus spent about two hours with each other, but she had to come back to her dorm. She could get into trouble already, because it was 10PM and students are supposed to be in bed at 9PM, but Lily was covering her back in case someone would ask any questions. After Hazel came back to her dorm, everyone was already asleep so without making too much noise, she went to change her clothes and fell asleep, too. Remus told her to come to his office tomorrow, too, so she can study there instead. They will be able to spend more time together, and Hazel will be ableto study. She liked the idea. The truth is that she didn’t like to be apart from Remus for too long, because she missed everything about him.

She woke up the next day around 9AM, Lily was already out of bed, doing something with her hair in front of the mirror. “Good morning,” Hazel said as she got up from bed. Lily looked at her and smiled. “What are you doing so early?”

“Fred invited me to his party later, and I’m just trying the hair styles,” Lily said and winked at Hazel.

“Sounds lovely,” Hazel said and yawned. “Did you get the breakfast already?”

“No, not yet. I was waiting for you.”

“You shouldn’t have waited for me, Lily.”

“But I have. Darcy and Amelia ate already and I think they’re in the library right now.” Lily said and got back to doing her hair. “How was yesterday?”

“What do you mean?”

“What did you two do?” Lily looked back at her and saw that Hazel was blushing. “You-“

“No,” Hazel rolled her eyes. “We were just kissing, that’s it.” Hazel smiled at the memory of him, of his lips on her. “Then I accidently raised my voice at him but we made up and ended up cuddling in bed.”

“That’s adorable,” Lily smiled widely. “I still find it a bit strange but I love to see you happy.”

Hazel and Lily went to the Great Hall to eat breakfast after half an hour of talking about everything. After they entered the hall they noticed that there’s much more students than usual. The weather today wasn’t too pretty, it was raining so everyone was in the castle. Hazel noticed that Remus’ place was empty. She was hoping he got breakfast earlier and that he’s not skipping it. She hated when he does that. She spent her day with Lily, until it was 6PM and Lily was getting ready for a party, and Hazel was about to leave to Remus. Lily knew that even if she told Hazel to go with her she wouldn’t go. Not only because she was meeting up with Remus, but because she didn’t really like parties.

It was around 7PM already, Lily left not a long time ago and Hazel was looking for her books she was going to take to Remus’. She shared her dorm with Lily, Darcy and Amelia but they weren’t here so she didn’t have to worry that they would ask where she was going. Of course she would just say that she’s having a meeting with professor Lupin about N.E.W.T’s.

Hazel left her dorm and then common room and went her way to Defense Against the Dark Art classroom. The weather outside was awful, but Hazel enjoyed it. She liked rain very much, especially the smell after. She passed by a few students and teachers. She saw Snape leaving his classroom and going her way, but she didn’t care much. She greeted him simply and looked away. He only nodded in response. Hazel finally saw the door she was waiting for and without knocking entered the class. It was dark, as usual. She could hear the rain knocking on the window and she smiled at the sound of it.

Suddenly someone grabbed her from behind and pulled back. She knew whose arms are these, she would recognize them anywhere. She felt a set of kisses all over her neck so she giggled, and then turned around to see Remus smiling at her. “Hello,” she said and grabbed his face in her hands and stood on her tip toes to give him a kiss. She pulled away before he could return the kiss and smiled sweetly at him.

“Hi, darling. I missed you,” Remus said and this time he was the one who kissed first. But unlike Hazel he actually waited for her to kiss back and felt her smiling through the kiss. He sucked on her bottom lip and pulled her closer to him. They were standing in the middle of the classroom, making out but none of them seemed to care. Remus was the first to pull away, but before he did, he kissed her nose what made her blush. “How was your day?”

Hazel was still trying to catch her breath after the making out they just had. The look on Hazel’s face made Remus laugh and she hit him on the shoulder.“My day was okay, but I missed you so much.” Hazel answered and looked down on her hands. “Did you eat anything today??”

“Yes, I ate breakfast very early in the morning, because I had to mark some essays later and I knew you’re gonna come here so I wanted to do it before, so I can spend some time with you.” His words made Hazel smile and blush at the same time. He was so sweet and kind.

“I’m gonna be studying, you should have left something so you won’t be bored.

“I won’t be bored,” he said. “I could literally look at you and it will never be boring to me.

Hazel rolled her eyes but smiled after. Remus grabbed her hand and both of them went to his office. It was pretty warm here, because the fireplace was burning. She could feel the smell of chocolate and she licked her lips on the thought of it. Hazel put her books on Remus’ desk and turned around to face him. He was looking at her, smiling. “What?” Hazel asked.

“Nothing.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Remus smiled at her and looked her up and down and the smirked. Hazel raised her eyebrows and titled her head. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Hazel only nodded without looking at him.

Remus disappeared in his chambers and Hazel only smiled at their previous conversation. She sat on his desk and started reading the first chapter in her book. It was about dark potions. She still had some troubles with it, but it was definitely easier than earlier. It’s been 15 minutes already, and she read only two chapters, but she was so tired already. She was so focused on reading that she didn’t realize that Remus put a mug with hot chocolate in front of her. She woke up after she felt a kiss behind her ear. She sighed and looked at him.

“Thank you,” she said and pecked his lips.

“Anything for you,” he replied and looked at her. “Get up.”

“What?” Hazel asked confused.

“Get up,” Remus repeated and she did as he said. He sat down on his chair and brought her down to sit on his lap.

“You know I won’t be able to study when I’m sat on top of you?” Remus only smiled at her and touched her cheek. Hazel smiled back at him and put her hand on top of his. She bit her bottom lip and leaned down to kiss him. He gasped into her mouth when he felt her hands playing with his hair. He put his hands on her waist and squeezed them. She moved her hips a little bit and heard him hiss. “Sorry,” she giggled and kissed him once again. “I’m serious Remus, I need to study, and we both know that I won’t be able to do so if I’m in a position like that.”

“I know, I just missed you.” He hid his face in the crock of her neck and kissed it what made her gasp.

“You’re such a baby.” Hazel got up so Remus could leave the chair. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and sat on the sofa. He had a book with him so he started reading while Hazel was studying. She was so focused, and Remus was looking at her from time to time. She looked so peaceful. Remus had an idea in his head and without hesitation got up and went to his chamber for his notebook and a pencil. Hazel didn’t notice that he left and didn’t notice when he came back.

Remus sat back on the sofa and looked at his girlfriend again. His girlfriend. He loved how it sounded.

He looked at her and started sketching. First her head, leaning down, looking at the book she was reading. Her hair was falling down on her face. Her chin was rested on her hand and the other hand was next to the book. The room wasn’t too dark, but the lightning she got from the fireplace made her hair look like a gold. She bit her lip from time to time. Remus looked at her once again and finished his drawing.

Hazel looked up and saw Remus staring at her, she raised her eyebrows and gave all her attention to him. He was smiling and this is when she noticed what he was holding. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Remus smiled again and got up from the sofa, and walked up to her. “What exactly are you reading?”

“Still things about dark potions,” she answered and looked up to face him. “Now, tell me. What are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything, sweetheart.” Remus answered and leaned down to kiss her lips, but Hazel pulled away and looked behind him to see that he was holding a piece of paper in his hand. She got up from the chair and grabbed his face in between her hands and kissed him slowly, when she felt his hands on her waist she grabbed the one with a piece of paper in it and took it from Remus. “Hazel!”

Hazel moved a few feet away from him and looked at the drawing of her, studying. “You did this now?”

“Don’t laugh—“

“Why would I laugh?” Hazel asked and walked up to him again. “I love it.” Hazel grabbed his face again and this time kissed him softly and she could feel him smiling through the kiss. “Thank you.”

Hazel spent a few more hours with Remus, who was constantly coming up to her and either kissing her and hugging her from behind. She really didn’t mind that because she loved the affection he was giving her, but she really wanted to study. But she had no heart to tell him to stop, he was so sweet to her. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Remus suddenly said. Hazel was back to studying and Remus was reading a book. “I need to take one thing from teacher’s longue.”

Sure,” she smiled at him and got back to reading a chapter about boggarts.

It’s been 10 minutes already and Remus was still not back. Hazel got worried so she got up and left his office, she went downstairs and looked around the classroom. She was stood next to the closet with boggart inside of it. She suddenly remembered their first kiss right on this place. She smiled at the memory of it but then she remembered what happened next and she got a bit upset. She looked at the closet again and without thinking first she cased the spell to open the closet. She wasn’t that scared anymore, because she knew that the dog is going to come out. She looked at the furniture that was slowly opening and she noticed a hand on a door handle. It looked familiar. And it wasn’t a dog. The door opened and she froze. She looked at the person in front of her and couldn’t move. Her hands were shaking, her legs felt like they are made from a paper.

“You’re not real,” Hazel said and took one step back.

“I am very real,” he said and started walking towards her. His voice was like a curse, his voice made her want to throw up. “I am inside of your head. I am one hundred percent real, Hazel.” He was so close to her, and she wasn’t able to move her wand to cast the spell. “No one’s gonna save you now, is it?” She felt tears falling down her cheeks, her whole body was shaking and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“Hazel!” she heard familiar voice coming from the other side of the class. Then she saw Remus staying in front of her, and her boggart turning into the full moon. “Riddikulus!”She was leaning against the student’s desk, trying to catch her breath.“Breathe, darling. Just breathe, please,” Remus said and grabbed her and pulled her close to him. “He wasn’t real, he couldn’t hurt you.”

“He looked so real,” she sobbed into his chest and pressed herself closer to him, “he sounded—“

“It’s okay,” Remus interrupter her and grabbed her face in between his hands, “Sam will not hurt you ever again, he can’t get close to you and he won’t do it.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

They came back to Remus’ office, but Hazel was not able to focus on studying so they spend the rest of the time on cuddling in front of the fireplace. Hazel was laying on top of Remus while he was rubbing her back and telling her stories about him and the Marauders. When she felt like she was about to fall asleep this was the sign she had to leave, because she couldn’t let herself to fall asleep in his office. Hazel left his office around 10PM, which is way too late, because if someone found her out of bed she would get into big trouble. When she came back to her dorm, no one was here. She knew Lily was in Gryffindor common room because they were having a small party. Darcy and Amelia were there probably as well. Hazel changed her clothes into something more comfortable and sat on her bed, next to her cat who was asleep. She patted her on the head and she started purring. Hazel smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her little head.

Hazel spent the next day with Lily. It was Sunday so they had no much things to do, except studying. Lily had a headache, but she still kept Hazel company while studying in the library.

***

Monday came faster than they thought. It was one day before N.E.W.T’s started. Everyone was so stressed. Especially Hazel. She had her first class at 9AM, it was Transfiguration and she had two hours of it. The class went alright. Professor McGonagall said that she’s not gonna give them any homework this week because it’s N.E.W.T’s week, and everyone was very grateful for it. Unfortunately Snape wasn’t that kind and gave them a quick essay to write, but no one was surprised or mad at this point anymore. She had two free periods after Potions and honestly, Hazel didn’t know what to do, because she always used to spend it with Remus. She was used to having her second free period with Remus as his assistant, but it was gone now. She missed it, but N.E.WT.’s were more important.

She spent her first free period with Lily, Darcy and Amelia in library. But she excused herself for a moment during the second one and went her way to Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. She knocked at the door and entered the class. Everyone looked at her and she smiled at them all. She missed seeing them. A few students waved at her. “Hey guys,” she said and younger students responded to her. “I just came by to say hi, because I was bored and I’m having a break from studying right now.” Hazel looked at them again and this is when she saw Remus leaving his office. He stopped in the middle of the stairs and smiled at her. “Good morning, professor.”

“Miss Harris, what a pleasant surprise,” Remus said and smiled at her. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be studying for exams?”

“I am, but I decided to take a quick break and visit my favorite class,” she said and winked at younger students. “And my favorite professor, as well.” She could notice Remus blushing a little bit but it was hard to notice. But she did notice. “But I wouldn’t want to bother any of you, so I’m gonna leave now. It was great seeing you,” she smiled and started leaving the class. “Be nice to professor Lupin, he can be grumpy sometimes.” Hazel said quietly and looked up to see Remus looking at her, biting his bottom lip. She giggled and winked at him, and then left the class.


	13. Chapter 13

“I would just like to say that no matter how your results will be, I am and always will be proud of you.”

Everyone from 7th year were sitting in the Great Hall, that was no surprise they were stressed. But McGonagall speech gave them a lot of comfort. They were about to take their exams in less than two hours. Today Hazel had to take Transfiguration and then Potions exam. Tomorrow was a day for Charms. On Thursday she had to take Herbology, and on Friday the only thing she had left was Defense Against the Dark Arts.

After Dumbledore’s quick speech, students were going to their common rooms to calm down a little bit and since not everyone were taking their exams today, because they had different subjects they had free time. Hazel was stressed about Transfiguration the most, because she was scared of actually turning into an animal. She practiced the spell with McGonagall many times but now when she was going to do it on her own it seemed scary. Of course McGonagall would be here if something happens, but Hazel was still stressed.

Hazel was about to leave the Great Hall when she heard her name being called, she turned around and saw McGonagall smiling at her, she stopped and smiled back at her professor. “Hazel, I just want to wish you good luck,” she said and squeezed her shoulder. “I believe in you. We’ve talked about this before, just be calm and focus on what you’re doing.”

“I will try, professor. Thank you,” Hazel smiled and looked behind McGonagall and saw someone she didn’t see in a long time. Sam was staying just across the Great Hall looking directly into her direction. Her hands started to shake and she could feel the chills all over her body. McGonagall noticed the sudden change the emotions. “I need to go, professor.”

“Are you okay?” An older woman said concerned. She looked back and saw Sam looking in their direction. “It’s okay, my dear. He can’t go near you.”

Hazel was terrified. She knew he can’t go near her, but still, she was scared. “I need to see Remus,” Hazel answered quickly and left the hall faster than she arrived. She didn’t hate Sam. She should, but she didn’t. She hated herself for being scared of him. There was one thing she couldn’t understand: why didn’t they just expel him? Oh, right, because he’s one of the smartest kids here and has powerful parents, that’s why. Hazel went her way to Remus’ class, and without knocking opened the door. When she entered the class, she suddenly stopped and looked up to see everyone looking at her. Remus included.“I’m sorry, I thought you were alone, professor,” Hazel said embarrassed, trying to cover her blushing face behind her ginger hair.

“Did something happen, miss Harris?” Remus asked and walked up to her.

“Can we talk?” Hazel voice was shaky, but she made it sound normal, but Remus couldn’t be fooled. He also smelled the fear inside of her. He, as a werewolf, could feel what emotions people felt. He wasn’t a mind reader, but people have different smells when they feel a certain way.

“Of course,” he said and smiled at her. “Come to my office, I’ll be there in a minute.” Hazel nodded and went her way to Remus’ office. “Please read the page 240 to 250 and write a quick note about it. Give me a second guys.” Hazel heard Remus’ voice as she sat on top of his desk and saw him entering his office a few seconds after her. “What’s wrong, darling?”

Nothing, I panicked,” she answered without looking at him.

“Don’t lie to me,” Remus said and stood in between her legs and put his hands on her thighs, rubbing it slowly, trying to comfort her. There was clearly something bothering her.

“I saw him, and he was looking directly at me when I was talking to professor McGonagall in the Great Hall,” she said quietly and looked up to meet his eyes. “I just got scared and I needed to see you, I’m sorry.”

Remus sighed and cupped her face with his hand, smiling at her slightly. He placed a soft kiss on her lips and pulled away before she got a chance to kiss him back. “You’re safe here, he won’t hurt you,” he said softly. She buried her face into the crock of his neck and took a deep breath to inhale his cologne. Remus started rubbing her back slowly and whispering comforting things into her ear.

“I have Transfiguration in an hour,” Hazel said after a few seconds and looked up. “I don’t want to take much of your time, I interrupted your class.”

“I have Transfiguration in an hour,” Hazel said after a few seconds and looked up. “I don’t want to take much of your time, I interrupted your class.”

“I gave them a task to do, don’t worry. They won’t be finished with it for the next 20 minutes.” Remus said and gave her a smile, she returned a smile and closed her eyes when she felt his hand on her cheek. “You’ll do great, my love. You’re smart, you’ve got this. Don’t stress yourself too much, okay? Remember about breathing when you’ll be turning into an Animagus. I believe in you.”

“Thank you,” Hazel said shyly and smiled at him. She was looking at him and smiling, but she didn’t realize she was smiling while looking at him. Remus was always so kind to her, he was always here for her when she needed the most. He was always supporting her and helping her when she was in trouble. He always finds a time for her even though he’s busy. She didn’t deserve him, that’s what she was thinking.

Remus Lupin was the best thing that happened to her.

“What?” he asked when he noticed she was staring at him.

“Nothing,” she smiled at touched his cheek. “Can I have a good luck kiss?”

Remus only shook his head and giggled, then leaned down to connect their lips. He grabbed her face in between his hands and brought her closer, she gasped into his lips and grabbed his shoulders to bring him even closer. Even though they were already so close. They were gasping into each other mouth, her hands were wandering all over his chest, while he had his hand on the back of her head, massaging her scalp, while his other hand were placed on her waist, squeezing it from time to time. They pulled away after a few moments and looked at each other. Their lips were swollen, breathing was heavy and Hazel’s cheeks were covered in red.

“I hope this will give me enough luck,” she said and bit her bottom lip.

“I’m sure it will. If no, come back for more.” He said and winked at her what made her blush. “Now, go, and drink some water before.”

Hazel fixed her hair and made sure her cheeks weren’t red anymore and then they both left the office. She gave a smile to students and some of them wished her luck on exam. She left the classroom and went to her dorm, where she met Lily, Darcy and Amelia. Lily didn’t ask where she was, because she exactly knew the answer to that.

Hazel was the only one who was taking Transfiguration on N.E.W.T’s, so the rest of her friends were free before Potions exam.

“You will do great. You did the whole process before turning into an Animagus,” said Amelia.

“Yeah, you turned yourself into an Animagus before, you got this,” Darcy smiled at her and squeezed her shoulder.

“We believe in you,” Lily added and hugged Hazel, “we love you!”

Hazel smiled and thanked them, then left the room. She was scared, but she knew she could do it. She was confident enough about herself and her Animagus form. She will do it. As Remus told her, she took a big glass on water and drank it. She needed to be hydrated and calm, but the most important: focused.

“You can do it, don’t think about it too much. Concentrate and just do it,” Hazel was in the bathroom, standing in front of her mirror. She looked at her reflection and sighed. She looked tired; she couldn’t sleep much last night. She had bag under her eyes; it was the first time she put any make-up on. She thought about Remus and what he truly saw in her. I’m like every other girl, no beauty queen, I’m nothing special, she thought. The clock showed 15 minutes before the exam started. She took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom, and went her way to the Transfiguration classroom. She didn’t enter the room, because she had to wait for her name to be called. She saw a lot of students walking around, being nervous. There wasn’t that many student’s that were taking Transfiguration on their N.E.W.T’s.

After 15 minutes the exams started. All the students sat on their places and after a few minutes they got their papers. Hazel wasn’t that stressed about this part, because she knew every answer for every question, so she was certain she will pass the writing part. She was more nervous about the Animagus part. The test went smoothly, after an hour everyone finished, their papers were taken away from them. Everybody left the classroom and now, students that were having an Animagus exam had to wait on the corridor and wait. There were only 10 students around, but she was the only Ravenclaw here. After a few minutes, the first student entered the class and the door closed. Hazel swallowed her nerves and sat on the bench next to some Hufflepuff girl who was clearly shaking. Hazel looked at her and did something someone very important to her always does to other people. “Hey, eat this,” she said, handing the girl a small chocolate bar. “It’ll help you concentrate. Chocolate is the best for memory.” She smiled and the girl smiled back, taking a bite of a chocolate.

“Thank you,” she said shyly and smiled again. “I’m so nervous.”

“It’s okay to be nervous…” Hazel said and stopped, because she didn’t know the girl’s name.

“Eva.”

“Eva, it’s totally okay to be nervous. That means that you care about it. If you weren’t nervous about this, that would simply mean that you don’t care about it. Being nervous is a good thing,” she gave Eva a smile. “But remember, you’ll do great. Just focus and breathe.”

“Thank you…” Eva looked at her, because she didn’t know her name either.

“Hazel.“ Hazel looked at her and was about to say something else, but the voice of professor McGonagall calling Eva Gordon to the classroom cut her off. She noticed Eva’s hands started to shake again, so she grabbed her and looked into her blue eyes. “Listen, Eva, you will do great. I believe in you. Focus and breathe, okay?” she nodded and then entered the classroom with a smile.

Hazel was feeling great at the moment. She wasn’t feeling that stressed anymore. Talking to Eva helped her calm herself down, too. Her name was called about 15 minutes after. She passed by Eva who was smiling from ear to ear. That meant a good thing. Hazel entered the classroom and saw professor McGonagall and some two other people she didn’t know, but she assumed they are the people from the Ministry of Magic.

“Hazel Margaret Harris?” the older one asked. Hazel nodded and added quick “yes sir”, and looked at professor McGonagall that was sitting next to them. “First, before you will present the most important part, I would like to ask you a few questions.” Hazel nodded again and took a deep breath. “For how long do you need to keep the leaf before the final transformation?”

“One month, sir. From one full moon to the another one.” Hazel answered, proud of herself.

“Good. Second and the last question, how to make the Animagus Potion?”

Hazel swallowed hard and looked at professor McGonagall who was smiling at her. “Well, the Mandrake leaf, earlier held in drinker’s mouth will be needed. You place it in a small crystal phial where it’s struck directly by the light given off by the moon. Then add one strand of hair and a teaspoon of a dew to the phial. Next step is adding one Death’s-head Hawk Moth chrysalis to the phial and place the mixture in the dark, undisturbed place until the next lighting storm. If you did the whole think correctly, the potion will turn blood-red at the instant lightning first strikes during the next lightning, signifying its completion.” Hazel was proud of herself and looked like McGonagall was, too, because she had this smirk on her face.

“Excellent,” said the man and looked up from his notes. “The transformation can start.”

McGonagall stood up and walked up to Hazel, who was now a bit more stressed. “Focus and breathe.”

Hazel nodded and looked at everyone. You got this, she told to herself. You were practicing the incantation every day, you got this. Breathe in, breathe out. “Amato Animo Animato Animagus,” Hazel said quietly, making the move with her wand. She looked around and noticed that she started falling down. She stayed calm; it was working. She closed her eyes as her body started transforming into an animal. She didn’t know what her animal was. After a few seconds, opened the eyes and looked around. She wasn’t large, that’s all she knew. She looked up and saw McGonagall looking at her, smiling.

I did it, she thought to herself.

“What a beautiful fox, Hazel.” Said McGonagall to her. A fox? She was happy her Animagus took a form of a fox, and not something like… a rat. Now all she had to do was transforming herself back. Focus and breathe. Hazel thought the right spell that was meant to transform her back, and that’s exactly what happened. Hazel looked down to make sure she’s back into her human form. She did it.

“Congratulations, miss Harris.”

***

After Transfiguration exam, her next one was Potions. She wasn’t very nervous about it either, because Potions used to be her favorite subject, and since Remus was helping her with some topics it seemed even easier.

She was now waiting for her name to be called when she felt sudden coldness around her body. She looked around but she didn’t see anything. Everything was normal, at first. But after a few minutes the whole corridor started freezing. Students started to panic, no one knew what to do. There was no teacher around. Hazel got up and decided to check what is happening. “Don’t go there! There’s a dementor!” some boy told her, but she didn’t listen.

She went further into the corridor and saw a big black flying creature. It was terrifying, but Hazel had to keep the cold blood. The dementor started going her way, she didn’t know if it’s going to hurt her. She started backing off, but then she remembered that there’s other students on the other side of the corridor. She couldn’t let this creature go near them. She started looking for her wand, but her hands were shaking. She grabbed her wand and pointed it at the dementor. Hazel took a deep breath and thought about something positive. She thought about the time when she was spending the day with Remus in his chamber, the first time they met next to the Black Lake, their first hug, their first true interaction. Remus was her happy memory. “Expecto patronum!” Hazel said loudly. The white light came out of her wand, lighting the whole corridor. All the students were hiding behind the benches. The white wolf was standing in front of Hazel, the light threw the dementor away. She looked at the animal that was now looking at her. She took a deep breath and patted the animal on its head.

Professor McGonagall started walking quickly her way, calling her name, but Hazel didn’t react. She was amazed by the animal standing in front of her. It disappeared after a few moments; Hazel was still smiling. “Hazel, are you alright?” Hazel finally looked back and saw professor closer to her.

“I’m okay, I casted the spell correctly.” Hazel answered and smiled at her professor. “I have never successfully casted the Patronus charm before.”

“Are you sure you’re not hurt, dear?” McGonagall asked again, but Hazel shook her head. She was perfectly fine. “What shape does your Patronus take?”

“A wolf.”

***

“Her Animagus is a fox, but Patronus is a wolf, Remus. You do know what that means,” Minerva said and looked at him. “The relationship you two have is no joke now.”

“I know it.” He said in a serious tone. “Does she know about this?” Remus asked and looked at her again. Minerva shook her head and he sighed. “I will tell her.”

The meaning behind all this is that Hazel’s Animagus is a fox, because her Patronus was a fox. But it changed to a wolf, after she fell in love with Remus, whose Patronus is also a wolf. Their relationship was not a joke now. It was a serious thing. First, she smelled him in her love potion and now her Patronus takes a shape of a wolf.

Hazel was studying in the library for Herbology exam she had tomorrow. She didn’t meet up with Remus yet, because she didn’t have a chance to see him yet. She was proud of herself today. She was one hundred percent sure she passed her Transfiguration and Potions exams, successfully changed into an Animagus, and then at the end of everything she casted the Patronus Charm after many tries. She was beyond proud of herself today. She was hoping the rest of her N.E.W.T’s will go this well.

“Hazel,” she jumped at the sound of her name and looked around to see Remus who was standing behind her.

“Merlin! Don’t come up at me like that,” she said and hit him o his arm. “I think I passed today’s exams, Remus!” she said with excitement in her voice, but she had to keep it quiet, because they were in the public place. “I even casted—“

“The Patronus charm, yes. I heard. That’s why I need to talk to you.” He cut her off and looked at her. He wasn’t kidding, his face expression was very serious. “But I’d like to talk to you in my office. Come there when you’re done with studying, okay?”

“Yes sir.” Hazel said and didn’t get a chance to say anything else, because Remus quickly left the library. She sighed and got back to reading the book. She was now studying for Herbology. She spent about 2 hours in library and then got back to her dorm, where she spent another hour on talking to her friends. She told them everything and just like her, they were so proud of her. Hazel left her dorm around 7PM and went to Remus’ office. She couldn’t stop about the way he was acting earlier, like something was bothering him. She knocked at the door and then entered his office. He was sitting on his couch, reading a book, but he turned around at the sound of the door opening. He gave her a smile and stood up to greet her. “What is it that you needed to tell me, but you couldn’t do it in the library?” She asked but the only thing she received in the response was a kiss. She was taken by surprise so she didn’t kiss back at first, but after a few seconds she kissed him back. The kiss was long, full of emotions. She smiled through the kiss and after he pulled away she was still smiling. “Well, that was something.”

“That’s the one thing,” he said and grabbed her hand and leaded her on this couch. She sat down, and he sat down right next to her. “I was talking to professor McGonagall. She told me about your Animagus and Patronus. And I have a question for you,” he started and grabbed her hand again. “Are you aware of the fact that your Patronus and Animagus forms are different? And do you know what that means?”

“Is there any important meaning behind this?” she asked, slightly confused. “I thought that’s normal.”

Remus bit his bottom lip and took a deep breath, “The Animagus and Patronus form is always the same. This is the animal that represents you the most, the animal that will be able to protect you, the animal that feels close to you.” Remus looked her deep into eyes. “However, your Patronus can change into an animal of a person you…” he looked at her and smiled, “…you are truly, deeply in love with.”

“Your Patronus is a wolf too,” she said and looked at him.

She was in love with Remus Lupin. She was truly in love with Remus Lupin.

“It is.” Remus grabbed her face in between his hands and brought her closer to him. They were staring into each other’s eyes, smiling. “I love you,” he said. They both couldn’t stop smiling. The feeling between them was a real one.

“And I love you.”

***

The rest of the N.E.W.T’s went great, as for Hazel and for the rest of her friends. Hazel was the proudest of DADA, Potions and Transfiguration. Lily said that the only thing she had troubles with was Herbology, as for Amelia and Darcy they weren’t too good in DADA. But after the exams were over, they all decided to go to the Three Broomsticks and celebrate. The results will be here in two weeks, but they had good thoughts.

Hazel and Lily were walking next to each other when Amelia and Darcy were in front. They were walking so close to each other, Hazel looked at them and then looked at Lily. “Are these two…?”

“Well it’s a perfect timing you noticed,” Lily laughed and rolled her eyes. “If you didn’t spend so much time with your lover you would notice earlier.”

“Shut up, “ she laughed and hit her playfully on the arm. After they arrived to the Three Broomsticks the first thing they ordered was four beers. The atmosphere was amazing. It’s been about two hours later and they all were rather drunk. “Do you know how hard it was for me to focus when I was in a fox form?” Hazel laughed and took another sip of firewhiskey. “Everything was so big.” Hazel couldn’t shut up about it, she was so happy and alcohol in her veins only made her talk about it more.

The evening went well, but ended… interesting. On their way back to Hogwarts Lily almost fell into the lake that they were passing by. Darcy and Amelia stopped in the middle of the trip back and started confessing their feelings to each other, and Hazel was standing on the side eating chips she got from some random man. Their way back home was longer than normally, but after about 30 minutes they finally arrived. It was after midnight when everyone fell asleep, but Hazel was the only one that couldn’t. She was laying on her bed, facing the ceiling.

That night had been amazing and seeing her two friends sleeping together only reminded her of the only person she wanted to spend the night with. She looked at her friends one more time making sure they were asleep and slowly got up from her bed. Everything was still spinning; she was definitely drunk. She got out of her dorm and went all the way to Remus’ chambers. She entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts and went upstairs to Remus’ office, where she whispered the password and the door to his chambers opened. She could hear him softly snoring. She loved hearing him snoring. It wasn’t too disrupting and it also meant that he was sleeping peacefully, not a single nightmare could be seen or heard.

She was still wearing the clothes she had worn to Hogsmeade, as she was too wasted to even change into her sleeping clothes. She carefully removed her tank top and was left only on her bra and jeans. When she was about to lay next to Remus, the weight change in the mattress woke him up. He quickly opened his eyes, ready to grab his wand from his nightstand in case it was an emergency; but he soon saw that it was just his girlfriend standing in his bed, half naked and with a grin on her face. “Hazel?” he chuckled. “Darling, what are you doing here? And…” he looked at the watch that she had gifted him “what hour is it?” he asked. The clock read one in the morning. Hazel only laughed in response and climbed up to him, grabbing him by his shoulders and leaning in for a kiss. As soon as Hazel was close enough for him to smell her breath, he stopped her. “Love, you’re drunk.”

“No, I’m not.” She said but the hiccups betrayed her. “Okay, maybe I am. Just a little bit.”

“Darling, you’re literally wasted.” He laughed and brought her into his chest. “The evening with girls went all right?” She only nodded in response. “Are you gonna stay in these jeans? I think it’ll be rather uncomfortable to sleep with them on.” Hazel looked at him and slowly got up from his bed. “You can take one of my-” Remus said without looking at her at first, but he cut himself off when he saw her standing almost naked in the middle of the room. “Darling, you’ll be cold.”

“Then warm me up, Remus.” She said and sat on the floor. “I’m tired.” Remus laughed. “Don’t laugh at me, asshole.”

“Darling, you’re beyond adorable.” He said and got up from his bed, too. He went to his wardrobe and grabbed one of his t-shirts and helped her put this on. He felt her hands going under his shirt but he couldn’t let her tease him. “Hazel, you’re drunk.”

“I’m not.” She said and looked up at him. “Make love to me, Remus.” She moaned and pressed her face against his chest, like a little child. “Please.” He was standing in the middle of the room with his girlfriend who was now half asleep. He had to grab her body in the middle and help her stay still.

“There we go, darling.” He said as he picked her up. Remus put her on his bed and placed himself next to her. He covered both with a huge blanket, kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly. She muttered ‘I hate you’ under her breath. He only giggled and answered, “I love you, too.”

In the next few minutes, they both fell asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

It was almost 8:30am when Hazel woke up, Remus still asleep next to her. Last night was a blur for her, she didn’t remember coming to Remus’ bed but she remembered begging him to sleep with her, which he refused. She was still resented about that but she understood that it was only out of pure respect for her, because she was drunk and unavailable to consent.

She was still hugging Remus, between the heat that came from Remus body and the warm of the few layers of blankets she felt like hugging a teddy bear. She didn’t want to get out. Hazel rested her head on top of her lover’s chest and managed to sneak her hands under his shirt, drawing circles with her fingers. Remus woke up to the sudden change of heat in his body because Hazel’s hands were cold. She noticed he was awake and quickly changed her position so that she would be facing him and started giving him kisses all along his jaw. She needed him close. When Hazel reached his ear globe and begun nibbling it Remus moaned in response.

“Good morning to you too, love” he said and grabbed her face to kiss her. She smiled through the kiss and hugged him again.

After almost half an hour of cuddles they decided it was time for breakfast and they both got up, agreeing that Hazel would leave first to not raise suspicions. She was returning to her dorm when she encountered Lily, who was heading towards the Great Hall for breakfast. “Morning sleepy head,” Lily greeted her and linked her arm to Hazel’s. “Can I know where the fuck were you and why you didn’t even leave me a note?” she said a bit angrier, forcing Hazel to change directions. She was no longer going to her dorm, but to the Great Hall with Lily instead.

“You know where I was, dumbass.” Hazel answered and smiled. They both laughed but immediately regretted it because the hangover was starting to kick in.

They arrived at the Great Hall together, their heads still spinning from last night’s rounds of firewhiskey. The hangover was kicking in and people could see that; they looked like two corpses. Apart from that everyone seemed happier and more relaxed as N.E.W.T.s week had finally passed and it was over.

It was mid-June and summer was approaching along with the heat. As Hazel couldn’t go to her dorm yet, she was still wearing the same outfit she was wearing last night to Hogsmeade. A tank top with jeans. It was Saturday anyways so students weren’t required to wear their uniforms today.

Lily was leaning her head towards Hazel’s shoulder, with her eyes closed and a piece of toast on her hand. With her mouth still full from the last bite Lily started saying; “Ew… my head hurts so bad. We should’ve stopped at the fourth round of firewhiskey.”

“I agree,” Hazel added almost in silence. She was in better condition than Lily, not so hangover but her head was aching a bit.

They kept eating in silence, Lily still leaning on Hazel’s shoulder and Hazel leaning on Lily’s head, almost supporting each other. That was until someone entered the room that awoke tingles in Hazel’s body, almost as if her body could detect him before she did. In that moment Remus got close to them with a smile on his face, knowing they would be hangover, remembering the night before and how Hazel had arrived to his office.

“Good morning ladies,” Remus simply saluted. “How are you holding up? I heard last night was a blast” he added almost giggling.

“Ha-ha-ha very funny professor,” Hazel answered with a sarcastic smile.

Remus then turned to Lily and asked her “Do you mind if I borrow your friend for the day?” with a wink; she got up from Hazel’s shoulder and nodded.

“Of course,” she tried to say, her mouth still full with toast.

He then proceeded to walk to the teacher’s table and eat his own breakfast. Remus was talking to McGonagall but Hazel couldn’t stop looking at him. The sun was shining bright and, as the ceiling of the Great Hall was enchanted to look the same it was outside, it was very clear in the room and the sun shone on everyone. Remus’ skin was glowing as the light reflected on him and Hazel found him very handsome. Even more than usual. She kept thinking why Remus wanted to spend the day with her, what he had in mind and what _she_ had in mind.

She still wanted her night of love, as the feeling from last night still lasted in her mind. It had been long since they last fucked due to the N.E.W.T.s coming but now that all of that was over she wanted to be with him all the time, because in a couple of weeks she would be graduating if everything went according to plan.

Lily had finished already and was getting up from her seat when Hazel grabbed her hand and brought Lily’s head close to her mouth. “Cover for me, will you?” she whispered.

“Of course,” Lily answered and kissed her cheek before leaving the room.

Hazel watched her younger friend leave the room and then looked at Remus, that had just finished his meal. He was getting up from his seat so she hurried up and exited the room, waiting for him just around the corner in the corridor to avoid looks.

Remus didn’t see her rounding the corner so he continued walking straight but when he passed by Hazel and didn’t notice her, she thought it was a good opportunity to give him a little scare.

“So,” Hazel suddenly said, “what did you want to borrow me for?”

Remus almost suffered a heart attack upon hearing her voice suddenly. “For Merlin’s beard!” he took his hand to his heart, his knees suddenly weak.

Hazel couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “I’m sorry,” she said between laughs and giggles. “I was hoping you could somehow smell me or something.”

Remus laughed too because despise being a werewolf and having his senses amplified Hazel always scared him. “I just wanted to take you on a wall to the Forbidden Forest, if you don’t kill me first.”

“Sure,” she replied with a smile.

They started walking towards the main entrance of the castle as they had to exit that way to get to the forest. Some students gave them weird looks because they looked pretty close but others just ignored them because most of them knew she was assisting him so it was natural at this point to see them together.

After maybe 15 minutes walking, they passed Hagrid’s hut and went into the forest. They looked around making sure no one was there and finally held hands, wanting to do that since the first moment they started walking. Hazel actually clinged onto Remus’ arm stating that she had missed him a lot and needed to feel him closer. A few minutes later they had found a clearing in the forest with a rock that looked comfortable to sit on and relax for a bit, the sun still shining bright. Remus sat on the rock leaning his back on another rock that was behind it and Hazel laid on the same rock with her head on Remus’ lap, looking at him.

They stayed in silence for a minute, just staring at each other. He was playing with her hair and thought she looked beautiful: the sun shining on her face making some freckles show up, the way she closed her eyes a little because she couldn’t see and the way she was smiling and her pointy fangs were showing; which he thought was adorable.

Remus’ free hand rested on Hazel’s chest while she held it, stroking the palm with her thumb. That was her happy place, she didn’t need anything else. Only Remus and her against the world. She smiled at the image of her and Remus standing on top of that same rock with swords, battling whoever stood against them.

“What are you thinking about that made you laugh?” he asked looking down at her.

“How much I love you,” she answered without hesitation.

“Oh and that’s funny?” he replied, teasing her.

Hazel giggled. “You know what I mean,” she rolled to the side and was now facing his stomach.

Remus had taken off his cardigan due to the high temperature and was now wearing only his shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Hazel took advantage of this and started biting him over the shirt, wanting to get what she didn’t get last night.

“Ouch!” Remus ached. “Hey, who’s the werewolf here?”

Hazel only laughed and got up to sit on his lap. As she straddled him, she circled his neck with her arms and started kissing him softly. “Merlin you have no idea how much I missed this,” she said between kisses.

Soon her hands fell from his neck to his chest, slowly making their way to his pants. She started to caress the sensitive area of his thighs while she kept kissing him. Remus held her by the wrists at the same time he broke the kiss. “Hazel anyone could see us,” he said.

Hazel saw the growing boner on Remus pants’ and chuckled. “Don’t you think it’s a little bit late for that?” She kissed his jawline all the way up to his ear. “Don’t worry, there’s no one here,” she whispered. She planted another kiss on his jawline before coming back to his lips at the same time her hands resumed wandering through his pants again. Remus finally gave up and threw his head back, enjoying the moment.

“What’s this for?” he asked, gasping.

“Just a gift for putting up with me these past few weeks. I know I haven’t been easy to handle.”

“You don’t have to do this Hazel,” he said grabbing her chin before placing a soft kiss on her lips.

“I know,” she answered with a smile at the same time she unbuttoned his pants. “But I want to.”

She palmed every inch of the area around his dick but without ever touching it, making him ache in desire. “Fuck, darling. Quit teasing me like that,” he whimpered.

Hazel finally took the member out of his pants and started pumping it with one hand as the other played with the head, already leaking pre-cum. She kissed him one last time before finally going down on him and started sucking his penis. First, she started by licking the head and then she started to lick along the sides, leaving a trail of kisses from the base to the head again. Remus grabbed the hair out of her face and held it back as he breathed with difficulty. Then she took him entirely. At first, she choked a bit because he was rather on the long side but after a few minutes of going back and forth her mouth accustomed to it and she started to go deep throat.

Remus growled in response and kept his hands in the back of her head, partly keeping her hair out of the way and partly to push her head forward but without making too much pressure. Hazel was still in control. She used her hand to pump the parts that she didn’t reach with her mouth while the other played with his balls, caressing them, which almost drove Remus crazy.

“Fuck. Love, I’m gonna come,” he cried out. She kept going for another thirty seconds until a wave of warm liquid filled her mouth and she swallowed it, looking at him in the eyes. “You look so pretty taking me in,” he said with a smirk.

She then got up straddling him again and kissed him, making him taste his own fluids. “And you taste so good,” she answered smiling.

Remus used his wand to clean them both and Hazel laid back on the rock, her head still on his lap.

“How are you doing with the speech?” Remus asked, stroking her hair.

Suddenly Hazel remembered she still had to finish writing her speech for the graduation, because it was in two days aka next Monday. She hurriedly got up with a worried expression on her face. “Shit! Shit! Shit!” she started saying. Remus didn’t understand what was going on and just looked at her confused as she got up. “I completely forgot about the speech Rem! I need to go now and finish it”.

Remus just smiled and grabbed her hand as he was getting up from the rock himself. He brought her close to him and kissed her softly on the forehead. “Come when you’re finished to my chambers?” he asked.

“Sure. I’ll see you tonight,” she finally calmed down and was smiling again. They kissed one last time before Hazel left first running to her dorm.

She thanked Merlin the dorm was empty when she entered the room, this way she would concentrate better and would finish the speech faster. She got out the piece of parchment she used a few days ago to start the speech, and re read what she had written until now. She had so many things to say that she didn’t even know where to start. It was a mess more than a speech.

After what looked like three hours, seeing how the sun wasn’t up anymore and it was dark outside, the speech was completed. She thought it was beautiful. Hazel took the piece of parchment and started walking around the room at the same time she re read it, checking for mistakes, because her legs were dull at that moment. Two of her roommates had come during the time she was writing and were long asleep already. She looked at the clock hanging on top of the door and saw it was past curfew already.

Hazel changed into something comfier and without making any noise, she sneaked out of the dorm and made her way to Remus’ chambers.

She arrived about 20 minutes later, because Filch almost caught her a couple of times and had to stay hidden for a few minutes. When she opened the door to the Defense Against the Dark Arts class and saw it was dark she figured out Remus would be either in his office or his chambers, so she made her way up the stairs not before locking the classroom from the inside for double security (in case this time it wasn’t McGonagall who entered, like last time).

She opened the door to his office, also empty, and saw a light that came under the door to his chambers. She softly repeated the password Remus had told her earlier that day, that changed every week, and entered the room.

She found the fireplace lit and a very asleep Remus on the couch in front of it, with an opened book in his lap. Hazel looked at him for a minute and thought of letting him sleep, because he clearly needed it. Just when she was about to leave again to let him rest, she tripped making a pile of books on the floor collapse, waking Remus up.

“Hey,” he smiled and reached out to grab her hand.

“Sorry,” replied Hazel, that now felt guilty for waking him up but was also pleased to be able to spend a little bit of time with him. Did she really trip by accident?

“It’s alright, darling. I was just resting my eyes,” he answered grabbing her by the hand and making her fall into his lap sideways.

Hazel put her arms around his neck looking for stability after the fall, caressing the low of his head and a few hairs. “It’s done,” she smiled before she gave him a peck on the lips. “The speech, I mean”.

“Care to show me?”

“Uh-huh,” she shook her head. “You’ll have to wait until Monday”.

Remus took her in his arms and hug her closely, impregnating in her essence and started wondering about the future. What would happen to them in a few days when all of this was over? She was going to train as an Auror and he would keep teaching at Hogwarts. Would they be able to keep the relationship going? Remus quickly put those thoughts aside when he saw Hazel smiling and thought that she had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. I love her, he thought.

“Can I stay for the night?” she asked, already pouting and making puppy eyes. She knew that always worked.

“Won’t they notice your absence? You already stayed yesterday” he answered a bit preoccupied people would catch up with what was going on between the two of them. Hazel was leaving little love bites along his neck and jaw which made him gasp from time to time.

“C’mon Rem… It’s only my last weekend in Hogwarts… forever!” she sighted.

He laughed. Hazel could be so convincing whenever she wanted.

Remus caught her in his arms, bridal style, and lifted both from the couch taking them to the bedroom and Hazel laughed at the gesture.

“Practicing for our wedding day, darling?” she asked giving him a tender kiss to which Remus just chuckled in response. Remus threw Hazel in the bed making her laugh even more.

“Remus!” she screamed with a smile on her face.

He sat on the edge of his side of the bed, untying his shoes and taking out his shirt, to finally get in bed. Just as he finished taking out his shirt Hazel attacked him from behind, hugging him and leaving kisses all the way his shoulders and back. He growled in response.

“Hazel…” he warned her. She was teasing him too much and he didn’t know for how long he could hold it in before he snapped.

She chuckled and bit him softly on the shoulder before getting away to her side of the bed. “Okay… whatever you say..” she felt playful. “…old man”.

Remus looked at her, faking being very offended by what she just said, “care to repeat what you just called me?”

“Old man,” she repeated in the same playful voice, always smiling.

Remus stopped doing what he was doing and crawled on top of her, pinning both her hands above her head. “Repeat it,” you could see a flash of lust in his eyes. Hazel felt like the luckiest woman alive in that moment. She had everything she needed. It only took her a couple of seconds to answer.

“I love you,” was her choice of words. She lifted her head in a poorly attempt to kiss him because her hands pinned above her head didn’t allowed it.

Remus smiled and lowered his head to reach her lips, giving her a slow and passionate kiss. “I love you too, my sun,” he whispered in her ear.

And just like that they cuddled beside each other; Hazel resting her head on Remus’ chest, listening to his heartbeat, and fell asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Hazel opened her eyes slightly but quickly closed them again when the sun hit her eyes. The windows in Remus’ chambers were quite bigger than in her dorm so there was more space for the sun to shine in. She growled and hid her face in the pillow, not wanting to face her actual last day at Hogwarts. After a few moments she looked up to see Remus who was still asleep. She loved to see him sleeping because his face looked relaxed; his factions seemed at an easy and you could see his eyes were relaxed under his eyelids. She took her time to look at him, smiling, thinking how lucky she was to be able to have him in her life. The connection between them was beyond magical.

“Staring, are we?” she heard Remus voice growl and felt his hand on her stomach dragging her to him. Chills were all over her body because Remus hands were very warm against her cold skin.

“At you? Always my love” Hazel smiled and finally gave into his touch, leaning down to leave a soft kiss on his lips. Remus took advantage of her movement and placed his hands on her hips to place her on top of him. His hands were on his tights, hips, and face. It’s like he had a thousand times, she felt them everywhere at the same time. They were snogging for a few minutes until Hazel pulled away to catch some air. “Mmmm good morning” she moaned.

“Good morning my sun” Remus replied and tangled his fingers in her ginger, now longer, hair.

She was sitting on top of Remus, drawing circles with her hands on his bare chest, smiling. The sun was hitting on her face.

“Your eyes look so beautiful in this light”. Hazel blushed after hearing those words. “And now you look like a very cute red strawberry” he added.

“Remus!” she giggled and hid her face in his neck, not before hitting him in the chest.

Hazel gave him a peck on the cheek as she was getting up again. She took Remus hands and intertwined their fingers together. She gave him the sweetest smile he had ever seen. They were just sitting there, looking at each other and enjoying each other’s presence.

Suddenly Remus took his hands away from her and when she was going to ask about it, Remus flipped her in the blink of an eye and was now above her. He started kissing Hazel’s neck going all the way to her collarbone what made her moan. She knew she had to stop him if she wanted to carry on with this day as planned.

“Remus, I can’t…” she was trying to stop him, but he wasn’t listening. “Love I promised Lily and the girls that we’d spend our last day together”.

Remus groaned in response. “Just for an hour? It’s very early in the morning”.

“You know it won’t be just an hour” Hazel laughed and managed to grab his face in between her hands. “I’m sorry darling”.

Remus was trying to use his puppy eyes on her, but she couldn’t give up. She had already promised that to the girls a week ago.

“No” she gave him a quick kiss and moved away from his body. “I love you” she said as she stood up, leaving Remus in bed, shirtless and only in his boxers. He didn’t say anything in response, only looking at her with those big puppy eyes while she was putting her clothes on. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m not abandoning you in some old dusty gas station”.

“What’s a gas station?” he asked, and she laughed. “Can’t help it”, he added. “You’re so beautiful it’s almost breathtaking”. Hazel blushed again as she put her shirt back on. She only chuckled and when she was done dressing up, she walked up to him and sat on the edge of the bed. Remus grabbed her hands, “you really can’t stay?”. Hazel shook her head and kissed his cheek, but when she wanted to move away he grabbed her by the waist making her sit on his lap and crushed his lips onto her. “Now you can go” he said after he placed the last kiss on her lips. She didn’t say anything about it. She laughed and got up from the bed, for the third time that day and turned around but before she could take another step she felt a slap on her ass.

She turned around again to face him and rolled her eyes.

“Really?”

He stayed silent only smiling and waving at her as she walked out the door. And with that, she left his chambers.

***

Hazel spent the whole Sunday with Lily, Darcy and Amelia and they had a great time together. They remembered how they met each other and how they scared on Hazel at the start because she was older than them and was retaking the year again but, in the end, they laughed it off. Before they knew it, the day was over and the three girls were sleeping, except of Hazel who was still staring at the ceiling. When the dorm went silent, she started to overthink everything, starting from her speech to every decision she had taken until now.

After a few hours she finally fell asleep in a bed she would never be sleeping in again. Sadness took over her body for a little bit. Hogwarts was her home, her only home now.

“You’ll be fine, Hazel” Lily tried to convince the ginger girl that was now walking around the room, speech in hand. “Don’t think about it too much”.

It had been a few hours since everyone had woken up and started to prepare for the graduation. For the younger students it was just the end of another day at Hogwarts but for the seventh years it meant the end of an era and the start of another chapter in their lives, full of expectations, doubts and hopes.

“It’s hard not to think about it. I’m stressed” Hazel replied and stopped. She looked at Lily and then back at the piece of parchment. “What if I forget how to speak?” she was starting to panic a bit. It was the first time she had to speak in front of that many students. She could handle a class without problem but, the whole school? That was different.

“Hazel, are you for real?” Lilly rolled her eyes. “You’ll do just fine. Relax for the love of Merlin”.

“You’re right, I’m sorry Lils” Hazel finally agreed and sat on the bed.

She was stressed but she knew she was gonna do fine. A few minutes passed and she had finally calmed down and was now thinking about her time at Hogwarts. Her first day at the platform 9¾ with her parents and her first ride on the train. She shed a single tear that she wiped with her hand. This was not the time for a breakdown. She couldn’t afford one right now. She also thought about how she should have graduated last year but for obvious reasons she couldn’t. But she also thought about everything she had gained. If it hasn’t for that fatidic day, she wouldn’t have been this close to Remus, starting a beautiful relationship with him.

Lily left Hazel alone in their dorm because she was meeting up with Fred before the graduation. Hazel was now walking around the room, practicing the whole speech. She wanted it to be perfect.

“What if I call Remus by his name instead of professor Lupin by accident,” she wondered. “That would be hilarious.”

Graduation was in almost two hours.

She put on her school robes for the last time and took her speech with her. She had to see Remus one last time so there she headed, to the Defense Against the Dark Arts for the last time as well. She had everything ready; her bags packed on the bed and Claire, her cat, sleeping peacefully on her pillow.

Hazel walked through the corridors and felt relieved when she saw the door to the familiar class. She opened the door and walked in and saw Remus standing in front of the window. He was also wearing his teacher robes too, except for the cape. Remus didn’t look at her, so she thought he hadn’t noticed she entered the room.

“Hello, darling” he said suddenly without looking at her and Hazel jumped. Remus turned around to face her. She had her hand on her heart, trying to calm her breathing down.

“I thought you hadn’t seen me” she said as she walked up to him.

“I smelled you when you were on the corridor” he explained and kissed her forehead. “Full moon is in a week; my wolf senses are stronger now”.

“Oh, right”.

She hugged him and buried her face into his chest taking in his familiar scent and smiled. He put his hand around her body, pulling her closer to him even though she was very close to him already. It’s like they could never get enough of themselves. “I’m gonna miss it” she sighted.

“What do you mean?” Remus asked and looked down at her.

“This” she talked and pointed at the classroom. “Us”, she felt tears on her eyes but didn’t let them go out.

“Sweetheart what are you talking about? We’re gonna be together-”

“I know” she interrupted him, “but I mean, like, here. This here. Us here. This is where everything started, remember?” She said and let go off him just to stand in front of the big closet that was now without a boggart. Just a normal wardrobe. “This is where we first kissed.”

“I’d rather forget what happened after” he guiltily admitted and walked up to her and hugged her from behind. “But on the other hand, if it didn’t happen like it happened, who knows, maybe we wouldn’t end up like we did”. Remus kissed her on top of her head and grabbed her hand. She rested her head against his chest. Her back was pressed against his chest, their scents mixing together. “Are you nervous?” he asked. She turned around to face him and gave him a confused look. “About the speech” he clarified.

“Ah, yeah, a little bit”.

“You’ll do great my love”. He grabbed her face in between his hands and kissed her forehead, then both her cheeks and finally her lips. She placed her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that always calmed her down and he hugged her again, bringing her close to him and stayed like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s presence in the classroom for the last time. That kiss felt like the first one, in the exact same place. In front of the same wardrobe. Remus had kissed her and rested her forehead against hers like the first time.

“We still have time” he said as he looked at the watch on his wrist. It was almost 10am now, graduation was at 11:30am, Just when Remus looked at the watch he saw the words: Thank you for saving me and making my life better, that appeared on the screen. Hazel noticed this too and smiled. “I love you” Remus said and looking at her deeply in the eyes.

They went to Remus’ chambers to cuddle for a little longer before they had to leave to the Great Hall. Remus had to leave at 11 to meet up with the other professor.

Hazel was resting her head on Remus’ chest while he was stroking her hair with one hand, while the other one was holding her. This was the last time they would share this bed, but it wasn’t the last time they would share a bed. Right?

“Rem” Hazel called him to get his attention.

He had his eyes closed and answered with a hum. “Yes, darling?”

She was looking at him with a big smile on her face and finally popped the question. “Can I go live with you?”

Her question was so unexpected that Remus opened his eyes in a awe and forgot how to breathe for a second. Hazel noticed the change on his face. “I-I mean. We don’t have to it was just a thought-”

“No”, he interrupted her by grabbing her face in between his hands. “I’d love to” he finally added. “There’s nothing I would love more than to live with you, Hazel”.

***

The Great Hall was adorned with the color of the four houses and there wasn’t any sight of the big tables that one could usually find there. Instead, in the place where the Professor’s table used to be there was now a big stage with a few chairs where the staff patiently waited for the students to come; Dumbledore situated in the center, accompanied by Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, and Remus Lupin on his right in that order. In the place where the student’s tables would be there was now maybe a hundred chairs, every one of them filled with a student. Some were graduating today; some were just watching the scenery.

Hazel was sitting in the third row, between Amelia and Lily. Darcy was next to Amelia, holding hands. Hazel was happy because she wasn’t the only one who had found love this year. Darcy and Amelia had each other, and Lily had Fred. She was also happy about her own relationship with Remus, because now she wouldn’t have to hide it anymore. There wasn’t anything she wanted more than to go on a walk with her lover holding hands or go to a nice restaurant without fear of being caught. They weren’t doing anything illegal anyways, as Hazel was of age at any given moment she was with Remus; but morally talking… people thought different.

She looked for him with her eyes without making it too obvious and once she had located him, she felt more relaxed.

Dumbledore got up from his chair and walked to the podium that was in the middle of the stage. He pointed his wand to his throat and with a quick spell now everyone could hear him.

“Welcome students at the last day of school this year” he started saying and then looked at the seventh years situated in the first three rows. “Today we’re also saying goodbye to some of our students that we will miss very much”. Dumbledore looked at Hazel and nodded, signaling her it was her time to come forward for her speech. As she got up from her seat he continued: “But before I start with my long, boring speech we have someone I would like to introduce. Though I’m sure most of you know her already. I personally asked Miss Harris to give a little speech because she is a special case this year. And I think her story can be really inspiring to others”.

On her way to the stage Hazel looked at Remus, looking for a reassuring face that could calm down her nerves and he slightly winked an eye at her which made her smile. McGonagall also smiled at her. By the time Dumbledore finished talking Hazel had already reached him and was waiting behind him.

“The place is yours, miss Harris” he said as he stepped back to his chair.

She placed her speech on the podium and with the same grace Dumbledore had she placed her wand to her throat and performed the same spell. Now everyone could hear her.

“Thank you, Headmaster” she said looking at him and turned again to face the students.

“Hello everyone” hazel started, a bit doubtful. “For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Hazel Harris and I’m a seventh year Ravenclaw. I used to help Professor Lupin with his class as his assistant for the year”. She looked at Remus and he shot her a smile, reassuring her she was doing fine.

“Professor Dumbledore offered me the opportunity to give this graduation speech and of course I couldn’t deny it. This is an opportunity you don’t get asked twice in your poor life” she was trying to cheer herself up by being her relaxed and sarcastic self. And it was working because she felt her muscles relax.

“I thought a lot about what to say, now that I have everyone’s attention, I’d like to use my voice to say something important”. She thought of making a joke to ease the tension. “The girls’ lavatory on the second floor isn’t working”. Everyone laughed, even the Professors. One could swear they saw Snape curl up his lips in the attempt to form a smile.

“I’m only joking. I’d like to thanks, first of all, this school for everything it has done fore me. And to do that I need to explain a little bit of my life that most of you don’t know about”. She took a deep breath.

“The younger students don’t know about this, but this is my second time coursing the seventh year. Two years ago, just one month into my seventh year something happened. Something tragic. My worst nightmare became true.” Hazel felt her eyes watering, but she managed to contain the tears. She was opening in front of the whole school and this was very hard.

“I lost both of my parents, both Aurors, at the hands of dark wizard that escaped from Azkaban.” She heard a few students saying something under their breaths, some of them grabbed each other’s hands. “I was so lost, didn’t know what to do. I started failing all my classes, and even lost some of my friends because I couldn’t even get out of bed. But you know who was here? This school”. She took a moment to catch her breath.

“In the end I couldn’t pass my N.E.W.T.s so I couldn’t graduate last year, as I should had. But professor Dumbledore and the rest of the professors gave me a second chance. They accepted me for another year and made me Rem-” she stopped herself here before it was too late and corrected herself, “Professor Lupin’s assistant. This opportunity helped me graduate this year and take my exams. And here I am now, aren’t I?” She laughed and looked at the professors. She noticed Remus looking at her for the whole time, smiling. “Thanks to this school, its professors and my friends I’m standing where I am today. Thanks to them I’m the person I am today. And thanks to them I can now graduate.” Hazel couldn’t stop tears this time. She was so, so happy. “So, what to say? If any of you ever feel distraught, in pain, lost, need an advice or just feeling of comfort… know that this school and its people have what you need. Don’t ever hesitate to come back to Hogwarts. Don’t hesitate to come back home. Thank you.” With her last word Hazel couldn’t hold her tears, she was now sobbing in front of the whole school, but she didn’t care. Everyone was clapping and some of them were whistling.

Dumbledore returned to the podium and put one hand on Hazel’s shoulders, trying to comfort her. “Thank you, Miss Harris. It was a very beautiful, moving speech. I’m so proud of you”.

She thanked him once more and went back to her place, with her friends. Everyone was smiling at her and talking to her.

Dumbledore started his speech, but this time he made it not as long as everyone thought he would. The end was much closer than they thought. After he thanked everyone it was now time to thank every student individually.

She was stressed, but she felt Remus eyes on her for the whole time. She felt safe. She felt good. She is graduating.

After about 10 minutes she heard her name being called. She got up and went back on stage once again.

“Congratulations, miss Harris.” Dumbledore said and shook her hand. Hazel thanked him and went her way to thank the rest of the professors.

“Hazel, dear,” Professor McGonagall said and shook her hand, too. “I am so proud of you.”

“Thank you so much,” Hazel replied with tears in her eyes. Professor McGonagall always was like a mother to her. Especially for the past two years.

Snape simply shook her hand and congratulated her on finally graduating.

The last professor had to thank was… Remus. Of course it had to be Remus. She was feeling awkward. What should she do? Shake his hand? Hug him? Kiss him? No, she couldn’t. She wanted to, but she couldn’t.

“Hazel” he said when she approached him. “I’m so proud of you. So, so proud of you, dear”.

“Thank you, _professor_ ” she replied and smiled at him. She noticed the change on his face, and she found this funny. Without thinking twice Hazel threw herself into Remus’ arms. What does she have to lose, huh? She was smiling in his arms and gave him a kiss on the cheek, at the same time she whispered in his ear “I love you”, but no one noticed this.

Professor Dumbledore looked at them and frowned his eyebrows, as McGonagall was trying hard no to laugh. The look on Dumbledore’s face was hilarious, she was still the only person that knew about them.

Dumbledore noticed the look on McGonagall’s face and leaned to her. “Did I miss something, Minerva?” he whispered.

“Oh, Albus, just pure love. That’s it” she answered.

***

It had been hours since the ceremony had finished. Everyone was getting ready to leave Hogwarts, saying goodbye to their friends and finishing packing their belongings.

Hazel was once more in Remus’ chambers helping him pack some books he wanted to take home for the summer.

He appeared out of the blue and hugged Hazel from behind, planting a trace of kisses on her neck all the way up to her jaw. “I didn’t give you a graduation gift” he whispered.

“That’s alright darling, you don’t need to. You are my biggest gift” she answered, turning in the hug to face him. She kissed him one more time.

“But I actually have a gift for you” he added. He took a small box out of his jacket and gave it to her. Inside it was a pair of keys attached to a keychain. “I still have to stay here for a couple more days to finish everything but make yourself at home. Now it’s yours too” he explained.

Hazel couldn’t contain the tears in her face. This was the happiest she had ever been.

***

She had arrived at the small cottage a few hours ago and had been exploring the house since then, familiarizing with it and making herself at home. You could see no one had been home in almost a year because there was dust everywhere at it seemed like no one lived there, but soon that would change.

She spent the first two days cleaning everything up for when Remus arrived home and that would be in a few hours, according to the owl he had sent her early in the morning.

Hazel was making Remus’ favorite dish, a rare cooked steak, because the full moon was approaching and his _wolfie senses_ -how she liked to call it- were stronger so everything that wasn’t rare cooked meat could make Remus throw up.

She was lying on the sofa reading one of the books Remus had home, part of a humble library he possessed when she heard the front door open and immediately went to receive her lover.

“Honey I’m home” he said smiling and Hazel jumped to his arms. “I’ve always wanted to say that” he giggled.

“I’ve missed you so much” she replied.

“You will get bored of me now, because I’m not going anywhere”.

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

They both laughed and kissed for the first time in their home. Now it was time to make memories there. The start of their new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! We hope you liked this story, comments and kudos are always appreciated <3


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